(Closed) Marrying into the military as a civilian

posted 4 years ago in Military
Post # 2
38 posts

i think it’s up to you and him when it comes to what happens after your wedding. As a military member living on base, he probably has a much better idea of options for military spouses than the people here. he must be surrounded by people with first-hand experience. Good luck!

Post # 3
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would definitely talk to him about all this, most ladies here are civilians married to civilians.

I am a military wife, not much really happened different than any other marriage. You will move on base with him, depending on the branch they may pay for your move or they may not. And then you just live as a married couple in germany until they deploy him or decide to change his duty station and you move again. Its really that simple.

Post # 4
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

After you are married, go to the base with your actual marriage certificate birth certificate and drivers license. Have your husband sponsor you. So you can have your military ID badge. Then take care of that like you do your other ids. This is what will let you on any base in the world and allow you access to the commissary.

Also have him sign you up for tricare and update all his info. since you are on a time crunch you might not have the time to legally change your name if you are going to. 

You can just keep your maiden name then deal with it later on. It’s just important you get in the system with him 

oh. Wear some make up and do your hair for the id photo. Hahahahah it’s so awful they snap on this ultra unforgiving spotlight right in your face! Washes out everything. 

Depending on what branch he is in will determine a lot. I don’t live on any base. But when you move it should be done by the military. They just come and pack all his stuff up and ship it away. It’s kind of insane. 

Mostly- don’t be afraid. Look at this as the start of a grand new adventure. People will speak English on base. You won’t feel super lost. There are lots of activities for families to get together. Military really promotes family- because they think it makes for a happier soldier and daily work mood. You will see how pro baby they are. 

There is a vibe with other military wives. Just be respectful, kind, and pulled together on base. Start googling websites for life on base! There are a lot of forums for military wives. I know this forum isn’t too active. 

Marrying a military guy is tough. It will take a lot of understanding and patience. You have to realize that your life isn’t yours and his only. You will always have to bend to the will of where the military sends him. Be strong. Be there for him. It’s a wild ride. make the most of your time anywhere you happen to be and find joy and solitude with yourself if he has to be away. 

I met my husband when I was 16 and he was 18 and just about to leave for boot camp. We had a great magical summer as teens swimming everyday at the beach! Then he was gone. Our lives went many different ways but we eventually found each other again. Since we have reconnected I’ve moved a couple times with him over the years, and it’s always disruptive but you get used to it.

Now we are newly married and things are great. I’m 37 and he is 39. He is retiring 20 years service next year. So I just went through all this ID stuff! 

Good luck and welcome to the military!

PS  soak his really nasty smelling uniforms in vinegar before washing  there is nothing quite like the funk of those!! I do my clothes sheets and towels in a different load before I do his!! You will know what I’m talking about Lol



Post # 5
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

View original reply
ceceyanez: He will need to enroll you in Tricare/DEERS, and you’ll need to get your dependant ID card so that you can get on base. Y’all will need to apply for housing, which hopefully won’t be a long wait since he’s stationed in Germany (I wouldn’t know, my Fiance is stationed in Georgia). You need your ORIGINAL marriage license, no copies. Bring your birth certificate as well. There will be paperwork for y’all to fill out, but it shouldn’t be too bad. Most importantly, look at it as an adventure! The military has been really good to my Fiance, and you’ll meet so many amazing people. It really is a tight knit community, and the wives take care of eachother. You’ll become very independent, but you need to KEEP BUSY. That’s the biggest piece of advice I could give any military SO. I wish you the best of luck! I’ve heard that Germany is an awesome place to be stationed! 

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