(Closed) Marrying Outside Your Culture?

posted 7 years ago in South East Asian
Post # 3
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Sounds like our family!

We’re First Generation Laotian-Canadian.  All my siblings are either dating or married to someone who is another culture.  We have Chinese-Canadian, my sister’s boyfriend who is Mulatto, French-Canadian and my fiance is Jamaican-Canadian. 

Post # 4
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@mireisen: I am 1st generation Malaysian American – well half 1st generation Malaysian American and half West Virginian – my mom broke the intercultural mold for me.  I’m marrying an Englishman.

Has it affected your wedding planning?

I have been getting many many calls from my uncle in Malaysia mad at me about two things – not marrying Melayu and not marrying muslim.  It’s funny, sad, annoying and heartbreaking all at once.

@MISSCULTURAL: You really should not use the term “mulatto” – it’s considered a very very derogatory term for half African American – half White children.

Post # 5
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@CrystalBlackheart: I’m sorry I didn’t know…I honestly didn’t mean any harm by saying that word.  We used that term all the time where I’m from and it has never offended anyone.  Thanks for letting me know!

Post # 6
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MISSCULTURAL: I didn’t think you were using it that way and these things happen … it’s better to be informed instead of saying around someone who would be really offended. 

The whole history of the word has roots in slavery and civil rights issues.  At one time in history mixed race relationships and marriages were against the law – even as recent as the 1960’s. 

 

Post # 7
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am WHITE lol, Irish, italian and french canadian. Not even sure which generation- my grandparents were born in the USA. My Fiance is 100% dominican and moved here from the dominican when he was a kid. So we have alot of different culteral stuff going on but we love it. We love learning new things about each other all the time and our familys love each other. We will both be the first people on either side to marry out of our culture tho 😉

Post # 8
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Jenbee: That wedding sounds like it will be a blast!!!

Post # 9
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am Indian/Puerto Rican…. my Fiance is completely Dutch. lol. We don’t really consider ourselves an inter-racial relationship…. but it’s clear we come from totally different backgrounds. It will take a while to get used to how big and loud his family can be! My family can be loud but they certainly don’t yell throughout the house to someone else at the other end, it kind of scared me when I first stayed with them! 

Post # 10
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@CrystalBlackheart: We hope so! Lots of different music, drinks and food- should be a long interesting event lol.

Post # 11
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@SimplyChic11: I definitely understand your point of view.

My FI’s is English and his family are quite typical — the are reserved, tea drinking, proper English people – so it will be a riot to see my mom’s boisterous Malay family and friends let loose around them.  Unfortunately most of my dad’s hick West Virginia family won’t be able to make it b/c that would have really been something fun to observe – like a bad science experiment where no one would be able to understand each other!

haha

Post # 13
Member
322 posts
Helper bee

We’re both Indian, but from different religions. He can’t marry me according to MY religious beliefs (you kinda have to be born into the religion), and I don’t WANT to marry as per his.

Plus both our parents already had the super traditional religious marriages with everything and the kitchen sink, and they STILL divorced after that.

So yeah.

Our options are to pick a third kind of ceremony and go with that, or to have a court registered marriage and just throw a large party for the reception. Either way our families are going to be PO, no doubt about that.

Post # 14
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Cybele: I feel your pain – the religion debate is happening now with our extended family – at least our parents are out of it.

Post # 15
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am second generation Filipino-American marrying a 3rd generation Polish man.  It is funny how one sister married a Sicilian guy and the other a Filipino guy.  All 3 of us dated non-Filipinos for most of our lives.  I say it is because we were raised in a community with very few non-whites and that is who we saw as teens as “cute” because our friends did. 

Post # 16
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

First generation Filipino-Canadian marrying my first generation Russian-Canadian sweetie! 🙂 After many many years of dating, nobody cares about the vast cultural differences anymore…I hope it won’t be awkward on the wedding with family coming in…eek!

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