Post # 1
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill
Hi Bees,
I read an article recently that got me thinking about the stigma of “marrying your best friend.” I personally feel like my Fiance is my best friend, but I do have a female best friend whom I refer to always as my “best friend”. I am very close with my Fiance and I can talk to him almost completely like I can with my female best friend (even female issues I am comfortable discussing with him). I feel like you can have more than one best friend, and that I am lucky to be marring one of them 🙂
This best friend of mine will not call her Fiance her best friend and says that he will be her husband not her best friend once married…
The article I read was a blog by a woman who feels like her husband is her close friend but not her best friend and is happy with this and that it works for them.
So really I am interested in how many of you out there feel like your Fiance is your best friend.
Post # 2
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
Aside from my brother, who I’m very close to, my fiance is my best friend. In fact, we were friends for about 15 years before we figured it out!
Post # 3
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
I have multiple best friends, and they’re all on the same level of best– asking me to pick one is like asking a mom to pick her favorite child, which I don’t think many moms could do. I have the best friend I grew up with, the best friend I went to high school with, the best friend I went to college with, and my fiance. They’re all different people, they have all served different purposes in my life, and they’re all tied for “#1 Best Friend” in my book!
I don’t think your fiance has to be your only best friend, but the “he’s a close friend, not my best friend” thing kind of leaves me scratching my head. It kind of makes me think “I am fond of this person,” not “I love this person,” but to each their own, of course.
Post # 4
Member
4296 posts
Honey bee
SO is one of 3 people I give the Best Friend designation. I have 2 female friends who also rank there. One I refer to as my ‘Platonic Life Partner’ lol because we were both single for a long time and were always each others date to events and traveled together. And when we’re really old and our husbands pass we’re gonna live together. I consider SO a best friend because we do friend stuff together like cruising around out in the mountains and just talking about everything. I’m super attracted to him, sex is amazing, but a lot of our time is just spent hanging out too…I’m failing to explain it accurately.. but he is definitely one of my BFF’S.
Post # 5
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: A restaurant on the beach
When we’re 85 and the sex has presumably (?) dried up, I want friendship to fall back on. So yes, my Fiance is my best friend. We have known each other since we were 13, started dating at 15, and will be married next year when we’re 26. I grew up with this man and the only other person I’ve been friends with longer is my twin sister (and that’s a rocky friendship lol).
Post # 6
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill
almostaudrey: Exactly, I have my female best friend but other female friends that I would still consider my “best friends” lol… and then my Fiance. I honestly feel like you shouldn’t marry someone if you don’t feel like they are your best friend (only because this is the person you are going to spend the most time with in your life), but that’s just me. It’s also part of the whole stigma that the lady was writing about in her blog. She felt like she HAD to call her husband her best friend.
Post # 7
Member
4239 posts
Honey bee
I wouldn’t say my husband is my best friend. We are definitely good friends and I can talk to him about anything and everything…and of course we have fun together, but my best friend(s) are other people.
My best friend in the whole world has been there for me through soooo much and she knows more about me than I care to admit. We have a deep friendship and understanding of each other. She’s the sister I never had. We never fight ever, and we “get” each other so well it’s almost freaky sometimes haha.
Post # 8
Member
6946 posts
Busy Beekeeper
Yes, my husband is my best friend. That doesn’t mean that I can’t also have another best friend. In fact, I have 2!
I tell my husband everything and he knows me better than I know myself half the time. He is my best friend and I am his. In fact, that was in our wedding vows. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
That said, I also have 2 other best friends that I love dearly. They were the Matron of Honor and Man of Honor in our wedding.
Post # 9
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
mfox89: I also rejected the “best friend” label for my fiance because I felt like I was under some obligation to call him my that, and also because somehow it made me think that if I called him my best friend I was “too dependent on a man,” which my mom always harped on about. But now, I’ve kind of realized that A), it’s ok to have more than one best friend, and B), it’s also ok to depend on another person to a certain extent, as long as that dependence doesn’t get in the way of you doing your own thing when you want to/have to. Since then, I’ve sort of reclaimed the title for him haha.
-
This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by almostaudrey.
Post # 10
Member
3867 posts
Honey bee
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
I have 3 best friends, so it’s not like I think the title can only go to one person, but my Fiance is not one of them. I’ve never thought of him as my best friend. He’s in a different “category” by himself. We have a fantastic friendship as the foundation of our relationship, but I’m not marrying one of my best friends.
Post # 11
Member
1219 posts
Bumble bee
I think it’s turned into a bit of a cliche to say “I’m marrying my best friend”. My DH is not my best friend. Ive been friends with him for a long time and I have no doubt whatsoever that I married the right guy, but my BF is someone I gossip with, go shopping with, watch films together, and yes sometimes bitch about my DH. DH and i do lots together but he hates shopping and my kind of films so I prefer to hang out with other friends.
Post # 12
Member
9940 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
I think it depends on your personal definition of a best friend. The person I most enjoy spending time with, the person I think of first to tell anything and everything to, the person I feel the closest to, the person I want to live with, talk with, share with, vacation with, etc., is my definition of my best friend, which is my husband. However, it’s a passionate relationship that goes beyond mere friendship.
The person I can vent unreservedly about my in-laws with (lol), share a longer history with, who knows more nitty, gritty, ugly details of my former dating/past life – that’s my friend whom I’ve known ten years longer than I’ve even known my husband, so she’s my best friend-friend.
My husband is my best friend in a different way.
Post # 13
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill
I am starting to think this is really based on individuals opinions on what a best friend is to them. Like
LaPetiote: your best friend to you is someone that does all the girly things with you including bitching about your DH lol, but to others those things may not define what a best friend is to them.
Post # 14
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill
Sunfire: LOL I just read your post, guess we are on the same wavelength! 😉
Post # 15
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee
^ That’s how I feel about the “best friend” title. I laughed so hard when I saw that episode because I remember being irrationally jealous that my best friend in high school had someone else she also called her best friend. I’ve since come to realize that it’s OK to have more than one “best” friend. I only have a tiny handful of friends I classify as my best friends, but I definitely count my husband as one of them.
I was married before to someone who refused to call me his best friend and I’ll admit that bothered me. But by the time our marriage fell apart I realized that he was right. We’d never been each other’s best friend, and maybe that was part of what was lacking in our relationship. When I met my now-husband, I suddenly realized what all of the cliches meant about being with your best friend. I feel like I can tell him anything, he listens to me on good days and bad, supports me and gives me advice when I need it, and I feel like he’ll always be there for me no matter what. If that’s not a best friend, what is?