(Closed) Marrying your best friend?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Are you marrying your best friend?
    Yes : (186 votes)
    82 %
    No : (31 votes)
    14 %
    Other (explain) : (11 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    431 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    I voted yes but this brings up an interesting question. Does everyday intimacy – how was your day, turning to someone first, sharing finances, home, etc constitute a “best friend”. I do agree it’s cliche to say.

    I do have some close girlfriends I consider my besties, gal pals, bridal brigade for my wedding (no bridesmaids). But we don’t talk daily, maybe via chat, message a few times a week (thank goodness for Google Hangouts). They all now have husbands and kids so while not involved in every minuta, we’re pretty connected and have at least 18+ years of history back to college. They know me as well as my spouse. 

    I still very much connect on some level with some of the quotes from SATC, hahah!

    “We made a deal ages ago… men, babies, it doesn’t matter. We’re soulmates.” – Samantha

    Big: [to Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda about Carrie] Look, I need your advice. You three know her better than anyone, you’re the loves of her life. And a guy’s just lucky to come in fourth.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  Groover808.
    Post # 17
    Member
    1356 posts
    Bumble bee

    My husband is my lover, not my best friend. While he is my favorite person, there is definitely a difference between the two in my mind.

    Post # 18
    Member
    6710 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    mfox89:  I met my best friend at age eight.  We’ve been friends for 27 years now.  I met my husband 10 years ago.  So no, he’s not my best friend.  She isn’t getting demoted from years and years of solid, true friendship just because I fell in love.  I can tell her things he would laugh at because he’s not a particularly emotional creature.  I can watch stupid movies and reminisce about the past.  We’ve daydreamed about our futures for years.  Love and marriage can’t change all that.  I love my husband thoroughly. I was never in love before him, nor was he.  But he isn’t my best friend and I don’t think that matters at all.  He’s something else that is perhaps indefinable with a mere word.

    Post # 19
    Member
    671 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I personally prefer to think of Fiance as my partner. I have three females I would deem “best Friend”. I am most definitely not his best friend, that title goes to his long time childhood friends. Overall I think we both have good support systems of close friends we can also lean on. I don’t know how to explain it but to me our partnership is a different kind of relationship than the relationships we have with our best friends and it feels important to me to keep it that way. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    2166 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I definitely have lady best friends, but my ultimate, knows everything about me, knows me best, best friend is in fact my husband. 

    We do life together, every, single, day. All of the responsibilities, the making of a home, making a family, that’s him and I. I don’t get to do that with my other close friends, just him. So it’s almost like an even higher level of best friend in my eyes. 

    Everyone is different though. You will still find some people that see marriage as almost a business transaction or they do it for the legalities only. That’s what works for them and they’re the ones that probably roll their eyes when they hear someone say, “I’m marrying my best friend!” To each their own I suppose!

    Post # 21
    Member
    1378 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base

    My mom always told me to marry my best friend.  I’m lucky, I did just that.  

    Post # 22
    Member
    7097 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I personally hate the “my spouse is my best friend”. I love my husband dearly, but he’s not my best friend. The girl who has been with me since I was 10…through every moment good and bad…that’s my best friend. Just becuase I don’t consider my husband to be my best friend doesn’t mean our marriage is a “business transation” or done for legalities. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    5159 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

    Yes, my husband is my truest, closest, most intimate friend…and that to me is a “best friend”. He knows my ins and outs, my honest feelings, my deepest secrets, my greatest joys, my fears, and I trust him undoubtedly with all of them, and vice versa. We talk about anything and everything, and it was part of our vows to always remain committed to nurturing our friendship, as well as our romance. 

    I wanted my life partner – the person I married – to be my best friend. So much so that if I did not see my husband as my best friend, I would not have married him. That deep true friendship was important to me, in a marriage relationship, but others may (and do) vary. 

    It does not mean I cannot have other close friends, but it does mean my husband will always be my closest, most intimate friend. If he ever was not, things will have taken a negative turn in our marriage. To me our friendship is the foundation all the other lovely things about being life partners is built on.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1883 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    He’s not THE best friend but one of my best friends. I also have 3 besties that I’ve known since before puberty (we’re mid-thirties now). We’re still super tight, and honestly no one knows me the way those 3 know me because they’ve watched me grow up and I can literally tell them anything. 

    Sunfire:  exactly! the last thing my husband wants or needs is to listen to me complain about his family. I take that to my friends. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    1288 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

    My SO is my best friend. I have actually never had a best friend of either gender before him. I’ve never had the typical girl best friend that you go shopping with, can call at any time, text constantly, tell anything, etc.

    With previous SO’s, they’ve never been my best friend before. My last ex and I actually had a huge fight because his ex-gf was still his best friend and they hung out alone all the time even though I told him I was uncomfortable with that, because duh. Needless to say, it turned into cheating and we broke up. 

    I agree with the best friend “tier” mentioned by PP. I know lots of people who have their husband who is their best male friend and then a girl friend who’s their best female friend. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    993 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    My SO is my best friend. 

    My BFF’s husband is her best friend.

    We’re each other’s soul mates, lol.

    Post # 28
    Member
    2553 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I haven’t designated a best friend since the third grade, when “best friend” necklaces were a thing.

    Post # 29
    Member
    3526 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    skunktastic: , k8goeslz:  said it much better than I did. My Fiance isn’t my best friend because he is something beyond that that I don’t have a title for. Calling him my best friend would almost be a demotion. Lol. He’s in a category all his own where there is no room for others. I have several best friends, but only one of him.

    ETA: our marriage won’t be a business transaction or just done for the sake of legalities. Not using the term “best friend” to describe my Fiance doesn’t mean our entire relationship is just some formality.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  MiniMeow.
    Post # 30
    Member
    1241 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    My husband is the person I’m closest to, share the most secrets with, have the most fun with, and tell everything. But he’s my husband, my family, so when I refer to my “best friend” I usually refer to someone who is JUST a friend, nothing more. Semantics, really.

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