(Closed) Marrying your best friend?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Are you marrying your best friend?
    Yes : (186 votes)
    82 %
    No : (31 votes)
    14 %
    Other (explain) : (11 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    2109 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    I, like many others have said, have many best friends. There isn’t a number 1 best friend. I have very few acquaintances, so I’m either very friendly with you or know enough just for passing. That said, he isn’t my best friend.

    My ex before my husband was my best friend. We met at university and hit it off as friends instantly. When we were together and not being romantic we were great because we were best friends. We kinda sucked at the romantic side though. When we broke up we were still friends for a time. It took a bit of work and I actually told him about my maybe date with my now husband before it happened. We had a falling out and did drift apart but we still exchange communication every now and then. He is married now with a baby on the way and I couldn’t be happier for him.

    My husband probably knows more than a best friend does. I tell him everything and we have fun together doing friendly things. However, our friendly things (shopping, cinema) always have some romantic part be it mushy words, a kiss or holding hands. If my husband and I divorce, we will not be friends. We have enough friendship to hopefully keep us connected through the less romantic times we might endure but we will not stay friends if we split. I will not want to tell him that I’m dating someone new and I won’t to talk to him about new love interests in his life. I really don’t want to lose my best friend and my husband if something were to happen and so he is just my husband.

    Post # 32
    Member
    10077 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Fiance and I don’t believe in the whole partners are bestfriends thing. I have several best friends, but I would never marry one of them. I look for different things in best friends than in partners.

    My relationship with Fiance is different than that of the one with my best friends. Its doesn’t mean our relationship is any “less” because we don’t consider one another best friends, its just different. Much in the way that you love your partner and your children in different ways.

    Post # 33
    Member
    728 posts
    Busy bee

    I couldn’t see myself marrying someone that wasn’t my best friend. It does sound cliche but my Fiance is 100% my best friend. Obviously there is a romantic element there too. We were really close in high school though before we started dating so we were already good friends before the romance began.

    Post # 34
    Member
    535 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    My Boyfriend or Best Friend is by far my best friend. Ive never connected this way with anyone before. Not even with my closest female “best friends”. 🙂 

    Post # 35
    Member
    511 posts
    Busy bee

    Yes my partner is my bestest friend, more than my female bestfriends who I grew up with. I think being best friends is what makes our relationship work. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    4246 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I wanted to add…I place HIGH value on my friendships.  I love the women I’ve been best friends with since middle school with all my heart.  It is of course a different love than how I love my husband, but it is still a love…a love that I wouldn’t sacrifice for the world.  The issue I see with the whole “marry your best friend” thing is that it can sometimes take away from the other relationships in your life.  My husband is definitely my number 1 supporter.  He has my back with EVERYTHING and he is there for me always.  Yet…sometimes I need to hang out with my best friends.  The best friend relationship is a different type of relationship, one that I prefer to keep separate from my romantic relationship.

    I see so many people whose world revolves around their partner, and I think some of that has to do with this kind of thinking.  I’ve had so many friends who once they met their husbands they all but disappeared from my life…because, in their words: “I married my best friend”.  So…their whole relationship, friendship, etc. is all wrapped up into ONE person.  I don’t think that is healthy.

    Like I said above, friendship DEFINITELY does have a place in a romantic relationship.  I’m not denying that.  But if you wrap everything into one person…husband, best friend, etc…I think it just gets hairy.  Plus there is no way I would replace the girls who have been my best friends for 15 years with my husband.  No. Way.

    Post # 37
    Member
    455 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016 - Hunting Hill Mansion

    Although I would definitely say that my Fiance is one of my best friends, I think that the “marry your best friend” concept exemplifies society’s pressure for one’s SO to fulfill one’s every emotional need…. and I strongly disagree with that. I think that we all need different friends to fulfill different needs and shouldn’t rely on one person to do that. Sometimes, when I come home from a long day of work/school, I don’t want to talk to my Fiance about it — I want to talk to my closest friend from law school because I know there will be more empathy/better advice given from that person. 

    So I definitely think you should have a strong friendship with your SO… but it’s not the only/best friendship you should have.

    Post # 38
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    My best friend is my girlfriend I’ve known since 9th grade. We are like soul sisters. I love my fiancé deeply and   Even without sex, we have an amazing relationship. It’s just different but in a good way.

    Post # 39
    Member
    480 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    Well, I’m quite the loner so my Fiance is kind of my only friend. He’s a great friend, so yes I’d say he’s the best! 

    Post # 40
    Member
    4246 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    emilypaige:  YES.  All of this.

    Post # 41
    Member
    6723 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    jennmariee:  And my bestie and I still have those ‘best friends’ necklaces to this day   Never met anyone who deserved the title more since that time.

    Post # 42
    Member
    498 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    I have my female best friends but Fiance and I know each other inside out. I celebrate his sucesses like my own and vice versa, theres no jealously or boredom as there sometime can be with friends. I wouldn’t tell my friends stuff that makes me sound arrogant but he would understand. I wouldn’t tell them the ins and out of medical stuff, yet he knows all the details. 

    We live 4 hours away from our friends and family so we do rely on each other a lot for friend stuff, I’ll take him to see chick flicks, he takes me for pints in the pub, it’s nice. 

    Post # 43
    Member
    4538 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Darling Husband knows me better than anyone else does and is my favorite person… however, I feel like romantic and platonic relationships are different. My relationship with Darling Husband is it’s own thing, not merely a friendship. Even excluding the obvious difference (sexual attraction), there’s a certain element to our bond that I will never be able to share with a friend.

    I have three best friends (two guys, one girl) and they’re all platonic relationships (i.e., friendships).

    Post # 44
    Member
    498 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    Oh saying that, if we split up he would be cut out my life, I don’t value his friendship over our relationship. I imagine if that did happen it’s because we hadn’t behaved like friends to each other so meh…

    Post # 45
    Member
    3113 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

    I have several close friends but my husband is truly my best friend.

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