(Closed) Marrying your best friend…

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

SO is my best friend, but only because I don’t have a best girlfriend right now. When I find one, he will no longer be my best friend. That sounds weird, but I’m submitting it, lol.

Post # 33
Member
9079 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I can’t talk to him about my period cramps, or stupid crap he does to annoy me, or hair products, or body issues or other girly stuff.



Why not? Because you’re afraid he can’t relate?

I flew out to visit my husband (then boyfriend) in May. I was just starting birth control and I was the sufferer of incredibly severe cramps (To the point that I cannot function.) I was prescribed narcotics from my gynecologist to “hold me over” until I could start my birth control. Well, on my visit, my period starts and so does the vomiting, migraines, and cramps so severe I literally couldn’t get out of bed.

My husband is in the Navy and works early (He leaves before the sun rises) and I get up with him. This one particular morning, the cramps were too severe and I couldn’t function well enough to open the bottle to my vicodin.

Ever seen a man’s face when he walks out of a bathroom and his SO is collapsed on the floor attempting to open a medicine bottle? I have, and it isn’t pretty.

While my situation was pretty severe, men can relate to more than you expect. I can’t relate to being punched in the balls, but I can still sympathize with him.

My husband may not be able to experience the cramps I did (Thank god for that), but he can still empathize.

This may not be the case for you and your SO, I think it’s a little backwards to have things that you can only talk about with a female. If it makes you more comfortable, I can’t fault you for that, but I can question why you’d feel uncomfortable talking about it with your SO.

My husband knows everything. From if I have cramps, to if I have the runs, or if I’ve been puking my brains out. He may not always understand, but he’s more than happy to help if he can. He’s willing to go get me tampons, or rub my back/belly/head if I’m having period related pain, and hell, he’s even helped me clean up when my period was so bad I was pouring through my underwear & pants. My husband is absolutely my best friend. I tell him everything, I trust him with everything, and the very same is given in return. It’s an immense honor.

Don’t put your SO off just because he’s male. Who knows? Maybe he’d be a lot more empathetic than you think.

Post # 34
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My husband is and always will be my best friend. 

Post # 35
Member
886 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

hubs says i’m his best friend and i definitely think he is mine. whatever i’m doing, i always think i would have the most fun with him. we can talk about anything and he knows me better than anyone else… sometimes he knows me better than i know myself! 

Post # 36
Member
6891 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

He is not, but he is my best “guy” friend if it comes down to labels. My best friend has been in my life since we were 11 years old, she knows absolutely everything there is to know, then and now. DH is certainly privy to anything and everything now (lucky him!) but I don’t feel the need to call him my “best friend.” He’s my husband. It’s a different relationship to me, though I can see why others feel differently. I don’t base it on “closeness” though.

That being said, OP, our reasons aren’t the same. He knows about cramps, when he’s being annoying, body issues, etc. I have “girl issues” that he needs to know about for the health of our relationship and has helped me through surgery and other things due to them. I can’t imagine not telling him, but I’m not sure that’s normal.

Post # 37
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I do think he is my best friend. I do talk to him about ALL of the above that you mentioned. From period cramps to the stupid things he does too annoy me to girly things that I like. I tell him that I didnt like what he did and how it bothered me. I could never imagine myself going to someone else and telling them about this stuff. I have to go to my fiance because he is my best friend. Other friends can come and go but your husband will always be there. I say this because yeah you do have friends that you love and you have been friends with for so long but what if they have to relocate? Your not going with them. If your husband has to relocate you will be going with him. I just can not imagine not having him as my best friend. I really can talk to him about anything, and I see no shame in that. 

Post # 38
Member
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

My DH is most definitely my best friend.  He is the person I talk to about absolutely everything.

Post # 39
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

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@maraschino:  +1 this is how i feel about it as well. i always thought it was odd to hear someone say they were marrying their best friend. but i guess different strokes for different folks.

Post # 40
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

he is my friend, and the closest person in my life, and that’s what defines “best friend”. I wonder, when people say their SO is NOT their “best friend”, are they actually closer with who they call best friend, or do they just have some hangups on that term, since it’s kind of a girly/pre-school thing?

Post # 41
Member
6891 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

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@patchy:  For me at least, it’s that I consider him my husband/significant other, which I put above the term “friend.” If that makes sense.

Post # 42
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

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@AmeliaBedelia: so it is the term giving you the weird vibe, even though you’d say he’s the closest person to you? I mean obviously he IS my husband/significant other, but I’d also consider him my friend.

but I can kind of understand; I wouldn’t consider my dad a friend, but he’s always gonna be my dad and that’s a higher status than friend. however, I also don’t talk to my dad about everything (hence I don’t consider him a close “friend”), and I wouldn’t want that sort of relationship with my DH. I do talk about every single random thought that pops into my head with DH, and I wouldn’t want it any other way!

Post # 43
Member
380 posts
Helper bee

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@Jacqui90:  You’re the same as me! I tell Mr Q EVERYTHING. We talk about girl things, boy things, bodily functions (TMI), sex… EVERYTHING!

 

View original reply
@coolbride125:  I don’t have a close lady friend. I’ve always had close male friends (some gay, some not) Girls are too bitchy for me! Haha! Things are much less complicated (for me) by having male best friends. But my boyfriend is definately my bestest friend and soulmate. He says the same about me too Laughing

Post # 44
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Hmmm…. on this subject all I can truly say is that I’ve had a lot of boyfriends. Most of whom, I would not consider a true friend, and that is why it didn’t work out. To me, everything in a relationship boils down to respect. If you don’t have it, you won’t last. I love the thought that I get to spend the rest of my life with my very best friend, however, I don’t want to be just that.  Most of the time we are so much more than just “best friends,” but I know that when s*** gets rough, our relationship will revert to primal best friend mode. I’m happy with that. Sure, there are gross bathroom deets I keep to myself among other “girly” things that I don’t think he would understand, but he’s my best friend. That’s why I would protect him, that’s why I value his opinion, that’s how I could live out each day with him. Without that “best friend” aspect, there’s no real respect or honesty, in my opinion.

@Nona99: – You are funny as hell and so empathetic. Please be my friend in real life. Just kidding… I’m not creepy like that or anything. Derp.

Post # 45
Member
40 posts
Newbee

My SO is my best friend. I tell him everything. Vice Versa, he tells me everything.. WHether i like it or not. Lol. I have other friends and a best girl friend but he has had my back for 7 years straight. I love him so very much 🙂 

Post # 46
Member
2931 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Oh most definitely my best friend. Not only that, he has been THE BEST friend I’ve ever had in my life, and I’m lucky enough to have had a couple. Of course he’s so much more on top of being my best friend, but friendship is an important part of our relationship. 

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