Mass email updates to guest list – rude or helpful?

posted 2 weeks ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’d say as long as you weren’t sending emails like weekly for the next long while it would be okay to get the odd ‘flights are a good price right now’ – but I don’t know how many people you are dealing with. If people haven’t rsvp’d yet then it might seem pushy. If you are only dealing with a handful of people I’d also just text/email them individually. 

As for the other info, I’d just add it to your wedding website (assuming that’s what Zola is?) or provide it with your invite, and not sent updates on events etc. Travel information should be posted somewhere people can refer to it I think re:how to work the trains etc, rather than digging through emails. 

Post # 3
5865 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I think sending an urgent or important update via email is fine but it sounds like this info would be better on a wedding website.  I don’t know how much I would love being pushed on flights, getting emails telling me how to use trains and spamming me to “sign up” (does that mean pay?) for activities the bride and groom have organized months out from the wedding.  I get enough junk as is so multiple emails about wedding details seems like over kill. 

Post # 4
3933 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

nattywed :  I would put all of the information on your wedding website and call it a day.  One couple sent emails like this and it drove me INSANE.  I also wasn’t sure whether I was going to go this wedding, so I felt the bride was trying to pressure me to book everything before I was ready.  

Post # 5
309 posts
Helper bee

we put information like this on our wedding website (i.e. what the best airport was to travel to, as well as other nearby airport options that might be cheaper but would involve renting a car, etc.).  you don’t need to email blast everyone– they can seek it out there if they need it.  your guests are adults and will be familiar with how to track flights for the best price, etc.

Post # 6
3531 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

Also agree with putting the info on the wedding website. You don’t need to update people on price fluctuations, there are a ton of easy ways for people to do that on their own. As far as signing up for things, I put a “would you like to use a shuttle service?” question on the website and people could just click yes or no. I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t read more than maybe the first email. I’m checking emails all day long at work and generally only check personal emails on the weekend. 

Post # 7
12528 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Destination weddings are already a huge burden, cost, and inconvenience. Even if that was not true, it’s one thing to provide information, for example, hotel and travel options, and quite another to expect commitments for activities or services so far out.  It’s especially inappropriate to organize anything people are expected to pay for. 

Post # 8
3114 posts
Sugar bee

I would appreciate a heads up about those flight prices!  

For the rest of the information, add it to your website.  

Post # 9
472 posts
Helper bee

I think alerting everyone about the flight prices is a little pushy. Or, it could backfire and guests could start treating you like a travel agent and asking you millions of questions.

Besides, whenever I see an unusually low price for a flight, it always ends up being for some weird airline at a bad time with a long layover and just doesn’t end up worth it in the end anyway

Post # 11
2534 posts
Sugar bee

As a prospective guest, I would find these kind of emails to be intrusive and annoying.  I’d reserve mass email updates for something truly urgent, like needing to notifying everyone of a date/time/venue change. 

For group activities, maybe you could set up an optional group forum, Facebook group, or email list for people who have expressed interest, so the other guests don’t get spammed.

Post # 13
1022 posts
Bumble bee

One or two emails, MAX.  


Also – I would remove yourself from the burden (time +

financial) of being the event planner.  Do you really want to be the one rounding up 2 more people so that the other 18 can save money on a wine tour? Will you have to put your credit card down on the reservation? What happens if 6 people bail from an excursion where 15 were needed? Will you have to foot the bill for the no shows?


Your heart is in the right place but you’re inviting adults who can figure out how to entertain themselves while traveling. A list of fun things to do on your website is one thing, actually coordinating the excursions is not your job (since you’re not paying) and a gigantic waste of your time and energy. 

Post # 14
12528 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Again, keep it informational. Past that it is up to others to coordinate with one another if they so choose. You are a host, not a travel agent or commercial enterprise. 

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