Post # 1
My fiance’s ex wife won’t leave us alone. It all started back in September last year when she started calling him after I put up a picture of two egg cups and tagged him in it on Facebook. She was on his friends list which never bothered me at all, but then she deleted him off her friends list and after a few weeks she was calling and texting him 20 times or more a day.
He couldn’t change his number as he needed it for his work, so we just hoped she would get tired of it all and move on. One day he had had enough and told her to F off. The texts and calls got worse, not better.
One day he was showing me how to play a game on his phone when a message appeared on the screen “Sorry for calling her a scary bitch”. I never knew she had called me names, I asked him why she had said it and he said she texted him one day saying she had seen a picture of me and that she made some horrible comments to him. I thought as she had decided to get personal that I had had enough. I took his phone for a minute and replied to the message myself. I said this is not him, this is his girlfriend I just saw your message and as you have decided to get personal I have decided this harassment is going to end. Stop calling, texting, emailing etc. No more contact is to be made from you to him so p*** off.
Next day she starts texting him again. He tells her it has to stop. She texts back again. I go on Facebook and message her repeating what was said the day before. This is now February this year. So now she starts calling the landline in the middle of the night and the texts become more frequent again. By the way she has ignored all my attempts to stop this and all his. Then I send her another message over Facebook this time saying the three of us should meet up in public to sort this out. Again she ignores me.
Its now the end of July and yesterday she messaged me three times over Facebook saying how upset she was the other night and then she starts to accuse him of all sorts of stuff. One being she said that after they split up he started seeing a 15 year old girl. This I found extremely upsetting and I confront him. He says the girl she is referring to was 19 not 15 and he introduced her to his whole family and that I can ask any member of his family what age she was. I go back on Facebook and I explain that I am now going to the police about this accusation and thatstory better Have the evidence to back this claim of yours up. So then I say we are also going to get in touch with the female in question and ask if she will provide us proof that she was 19 when she dated him.
After that message I got amessage back from his ex wife saying yeah well you are overweight and need to lose a few pounds and I’m a perfect uk size 10 with 32Dirty Delete boobs like a model. Nowhere in that last statement did she even try to back up her claim that he had slept with a minor and then straight after sending me that last message she blocked me.
So last night fiancé and I had a deep discussion about her. He called her on the phone but she didn’t answer. So he says he is going to call her again tonight. Anyway during our discussion it turns out that two weeks ago she texted him saying that if she is still single in 6 months time would he give her some sperm! He texted her back out of anger right away saying no and anyway we are expecting a baby ourselves and getting married. So then I realised that’s the reason why she was so upset etc. She isunbelievable I swear I’ve never come across anyone as bitchy as her before in my life!!!
Post # 3
OMG…. i would go INSANE!!!!!!!! And i think i would have gone to the police..that is harassment.
Post # 4
1. Stop feeding the drama. Don’t reply to her texts or emails. Block her completely from fb & set your email filters so hers go straight to the trash.
2. Save all texts & emails and file a restraining order against her for harassment.
As long as you guys continue to engage is as long as she will continue.
Post # 5
The problem is you are engaging her. Don’t feed the trolls. Stop reacting to her, and she will cut it out.
Secondly, after you’ve had it in writing that you’ve told her to stop contacting you, call the police any and every time she continues. The end.
She’s bothering you because you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend are letting her. Why hasn’t your Boyfriend or Best Friend blocked her number already? Even though he can’t change his #, he can certainly have her blocked by his service provider.
Empower yourselves to be rid of her.
Post # 6
What the wise Bees before me have said.
Send her one last message (or make a phone call) telling her that the Drama is done… she is not to contact either you or your Fiance any longer. From this point forward it will be considered harrassment. Then stop engaging her. If she texts, emails, calls, leaves a voicemail, whatever you document it. When you have 3 or 5 so incidents, you put them together, and go to the cops. They will help you to file a formal complaint / restraining order against her.
She is one crazy woman… but honestly you are not much better by letting her play you… and feeling a need that you must text, email, call back.
Your Fiance I cannot figure out. He should be stopping this mess right in its tracks (unless he wants interaction with her… as I said I can’t figure him out). Otherwise as the other PPs have suggested he would have taken action already to block her.
Post # 7
He can’t block the number on his mobile phone, the network provider won’t let him we have tried on several occasions, besides she has started using another number this past few weeks so even blocking it would be pointless. He has decided to change his number and inform all the companies he works for of his change of details.
We both ignored her for 6 months but the more we ignored her, the worse she became. Also it tended to be worse at the weekends and I think that’s because she must have been out drinking. The thing is that she was the one who ended their marriage, 5 years later she still thinks she’s got some sort of hold on him. He should never have replied to her saying I was pregnant, he regretted that ever since and now she’s going crazy. I would understand had he dumped her for me, but we met years after their divorce so I don’t see why we are getting all her shit. Argghhhhh!
Post # 8
@Irish-bride: you said…
but we met years after their divorce so I don’t see why we are getting all her shit. Argghhhhh!
Because YOU ALLOW IT.
This is all about setting boundaries… His Ex obviously is a Drama Queen, so she has no concept of boundaries.
When the two of you allow her to carry on this way (vs nipping it in the bud right up front… which is what most reasonable people would have done. “Back Off, I will not be spoken to like that… drawn into your issue, etc”)
You give her a BIG GREEN LIGHT to continue… BECAUSE she is getting what she wants out of this action… HIS and YOUR ATTENTION.
Stand solid as a front, and tell her to back off… and that continued harrassment will result in legal action. Then let the chips fall where they may… her choices need to have consequences… that is how things are done in the REAL WORLD !!
Post # 9
Okay, he can’t change his number. But what is stopping him from hanging up on her? Ignoring the texts? If you STOP feeding the horrible woman, she’ll give up. Why respoond to facebook? Why didn’t either of you block her earlier? Just stop. I don’t understand. She is winning.
Post # 10
Exactly what all the ladies above me said. When you sent her that first message on FB, she had you right where she wanted you. Like everyone else said you both need to send her an email, so that you have proof, that you want the harassment to stop. If she contacts any of you guys any further save everything and go to the police. Once you engage in a back and forth with her, it will never end.
Post # 11
Go to the police. This is harrassment. And you have it all documented due to the joys of facebook. Also, block her telephone number, email address, and facebook account right now. She sounds like a nutter.
Post # 12
It’s not as simple as just ignoring her. We have both ignored her sinceFebruary and it’s now July. We ignore but she just keeps it up everyday. It’s now transpired that she is getting in touch with the police over her claims that it’s me harassing her. I have since said well back up your claim and find all the texts and calls I’ve supposedly sent you from before February. I also said that I have not one but two phone companies that can corroborate your bombardment of calls and texts from the first week of September. I’ve also stated again that we are getting in touch with the 19 year old female who she claimed to have been just 15 at the time.
She won’t be able to substantiate her harassment claim as I never contacted her until feb this year even though we have substantial recorded evidence to show she had been slandering me from September until yesterday. I would now be very surprised if we get a solicitors letter, but i would not be surprised when (not if) her texts and calls start flowing again.
Post # 13
My brother went through a similar situation with an ex-girlfriend. She called and texted constantly.. not only him though, but me and other family members as well. She sent tons of facebook messages to our whole family. She accused my brother of a bunch of not very nice things. She drove by my families house multiple times, showed up at their house as well as mine unannounced, etc.
The only thing that worked was we all contacted her one more time and told her that we will no longer be responding and it needed to stop. And honestly, after that she started texting more & more. But we all ignored her. It was really difficult to be honest. It’s been 5 months now, and she has completely stopped. There is really nothing else that you can do other than just completely ignore the behavior. If you continue to respond, you’re just feeding the fire. It will probably get worse for a bit once you tell her you are no longer responding. She’ll throw a big fit I’m sure. But when no one responds, eventually it won’t be worth her time anymore.
Post # 14
You are definitely adding to it by responding to her. She’s feeding off it. If you BOTH just stopped responding, blocked her on FB, and cut her out of your lives, she would eventually stop.
Also, you can go to the police and get a restraining order, I’m sure.
Post # 15
According to your post you text her or email her at least twice at the end of July, so that’s not really leaving her alone and ignoring her. Even telling her you’re going to the police is giving her attention. Even though it may be daily, and it may be inflammatory, you have to just stop responding completely.
Post # 16
@GoldfishPie: no this was yesterday and it was after she decided to tell me that she was so upset on Friday night. She had no reason to be upset on Friday night other than the fact that she had learned two weeks ago that I’m pregnant, and this was because she texted him asking him for a sample of his sperm. He had had enough by this point and told her no and that I was pregnant and he now knows he should not have said that so yesterday she started crying to me via Facebook. I had not attempted to contact her since February. In her messages yesterday she accused him of a whole list of things, yet not once did she mention my pregnancy or her own request of a sperm sample from him. He still has her messages from two weeks ago, her begging him for his sperm.
My Fiancé is extremely intelligent, he designs machinery for different companies, loves everything to do with mathematics and science and his father is the owner of a multimillion pound engineering company. I firmly believe she wants to have his baby and lay claim to whatever entitlement her child would get upon his fathers death, as his father will make provisions for all his grandchildren. This is why she won’t let go, this is also why ignoring her is not working.