(Closed) Massive rant

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

OMG…. i would go INSANE!!!!!!!! And i think i would have gone to the police..that is harassment.

Post # 4
Member
3104 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

1.  Stop feeding the drama. Don’t reply to her texts or emails. Block her completely from fb & set your email filters so hers go straight to the trash. 

2.  Save all texts & emails and file a restraining order against her for harassment. 

As long as you guys continue to engage is as long as she will continue. 

Post # 5
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

The problem is you are engaging her. Don’t feed the trolls. Stop reacting to her, and she will cut it out. 

Secondly, after you’ve had it in writing that you’ve told her to stop contacting you, call the police any and every time she continues. The end. 

She’s bothering you because you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend are letting her. Why hasn’t your Boyfriend or Best Friend blocked her number already? Even though he can’t change his #, he can certainly have her blocked by his service provider. 

Empower yourselves to be rid of her.

Post # 6
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

What the wise Bees before me have said.

Send her one last message (or make a phone call) telling her that the Drama is done… she is not to contact either you or your Fiance any longer.  From this point forward it will be considered harrassment.  Then stop engaging her.  If she texts, emails, calls, leaves a voicemail, whatever you document it.  When you have 3 or 5 so incidents, you put them together, and go to the cops.  They will help you to file a formal complaint / restraining order against her.

She is one crazy woman… but honestly you are not much better by letting her play you… and feeling a need that you must text, email, call back.

Your Fiance I cannot figure out.  He should be stopping this mess right in its tracks (unless he wants interaction with her… as I said I can’t figure him out).  Otherwise as the other PPs have suggested he would have taken action already to block her.

 

Post # 8
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Irish-bride:  you said…

but we met years after their divorce so I don’t see why we are getting all her shit. Argghhhhh!

Because YOU ALLOW IT. 

This is all about setting boundaries… His Ex obviously is a Drama Queen, so she has no concept of boundaries. 

When the two of you allow her to carry on this way (vs nipping it in the bud right up front… which is what most reasonable people would have done.  “Back Off, I will not be spoken to like that… drawn into your issue, etc”)

You give her a BIG GREEN LIGHT to continue… BECAUSE she is getting what she wants out of this action… HIS and YOUR ATTENTION.

Stand solid as a front, and tell her to back off… and that continued harrassment will result in legal action.  Then let the chips fall where they may… her choices need to have consequences… that is how things are done in the REAL WORLD !!

 

Post # 9
Member
533 posts
Busy bee

Okay, he can’t change his number. But what is stopping him from hanging up on her? Ignoring the texts? If you STOP feeding the horrible woman, she’ll give up. Why respoond to facebook? Why didn’t either of you block her earlier? Just stop. I don’t understand. She is winning. 

Post # 10
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Exactly what all the ladies above me said.  When you sent her that first message on FB, she had you right where she wanted you.  Like everyone else said you both need to send her an email, so that you have proof, that you want the harassment to stop.  If she contacts any of you guys any further save everything and go to the police.  Once you engage in a back and forth with her, it will never end.

Post # 11
Member
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Go to the police.  This is harrassment.  And you have it all documented due to the joys of facebook.  Also, block her telephone number, email address, and facebook account right now.  She sounds like a nutter.

Post # 13
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My brother went through a similar situation with an ex-girlfriend. She called and texted constantly.. not only him though, but me and other family members as well. She sent tons of facebook messages to our whole family. She accused my brother of a bunch of not very nice things. She drove by my families house multiple times, showed up at their house as well as mine unannounced, etc. 

The only thing that worked was we all contacted her one more time and told her that we will no longer be responding and it needed to stop. And honestly, after that she started texting more & more. But we all ignored her. It was really difficult to be honest.  It’s been 5 months now, and she has completely stopped. There is really nothing else that you can do other than just completely ignore the behavior. If you continue to respond, you’re just feeding the fire. It will probably get worse for a bit once you tell her you are no longer responding. She’ll throw a big fit I’m sure. But when no one responds, eventually it won’t be worth her time anymore. 

Post # 14
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@mamadingdong:  +1

You are definitely adding to it by responding to her.  She’s feeding off it.  If you BOTH just stopped responding, blocked her on FB, and cut her out of your lives, she would eventually stop.

Also, you can go to the police and get a restraining order, I’m sure. 

Post # 15
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

According to your post you text her or email her at least twice at the end of July, so that’s not really leaving her alone and ignoring her. Even telling her you’re going to the police is giving her attention. Even though it may be daily, and it may be inflammatory, you have to just stop responding completely.

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