(Closed) Massive wedding photo anxiety

posted 4 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 16
Member
2506 posts
Sugar bee

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lizknope:  haha yep! there’s so much pressure to look PERFECT that it can really get to your head. have you had engagement photos done? i’ve found that that really helps. my engagement shoot day was a disaster – weather didn’t cooperate, had to change the locations of our shoot, MUA was a total fail, hair went nuts because of the humidity, i was sweating balls and just felt so gross – and YET, i got our pics back from our photographer and they were beautiful! it helped to ease my mind to feel that so many things could go wrong and i could feel like i look so horrible and STILL have gorgeous photos. gives me confidence in our photographer (who i’m convinced is a magician) and eases any wedding day perfection anxiety.

Post # 18
Member
949 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I was very nervous about photos too, as I rarely like how I look when photographed and I know that if I look like that in photos, I look like that in real life too! I don’t generally wear much makeup but I did splurge on a makeup artist, so I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about that as the day went on. I also made a concious effort in the months leading up to the wedding to fix my posture (pull my shoulders back) and drop my chin down rather than looking up, as those were the things I always noticed in pictures and really disliked. Thankfully it worked well to practice and I was happy with the pictures when all was said and done!

Post # 19
Member
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Birtsmorton Court, Worcestershire, UK

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lizknope:  YES! This is one of my biggest wedding day worries… I’m afraid I won’t like any of the photos I’m in!

I think I look ok in real life, but it just does not translate well onto film. I can take a decent selfie if given lots of time, good lighting, clever cropping, use of filters etc… But obviously I’m not going to be in charge of the camera on the big day. My Fiance is ridiculously photogenic which only makes me feel worse! I have hired pro hair and makeup people to ensure I look fine (although I am yet to have my trials), but I unintentionally turn into such a goof whenever there’s a camera around – I haven’t yet mastered the art of posing naturally so I just look awkward, and I have quite small eyes so most of the time I look drunk or tired – ugh!

Saying that, I do trust our photographer – his style is more relaxed and he tends to hide in the background so I know I won’t have any long lenses in my face which already makes me feel much better. I am also going to try and work on my posture and posing… But if all else fails, I an hopeful that there will be a few photos which will look amazing in black and white!

Post # 20
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2016

http://krisandraevans.com/recent/ann-beau-goat-farm-engagement

Tust your photographer. I am the same way, and was freaking out before the engagement session…. and hate how i looked in quite a few of the photos that came from our engagement session, but then there were a bunch I really loved. 

anxiously awaiting my wedding day ones…. i know we got a few good ones mixed in with the “BURN IT NOW” ones.

Post # 21
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I suffer from the same anxietal problem – but we have to remember, even for models in a magazine… for every 1 photo that’s printed an published, there were anywhere from 2-10 photos that were trashed because the model caught herself at a bad angle, made an ugly face, had hair out of place, makeup or wardrobe malfunction, etc… it’s the normal to get a few good photos and a ton of not so good ones. Take into account the fact that we have to coordinate the right moment to snap that photo with (insert #of people on set) and the photographer…! We are all going to look beautiful on our big day, and the photo only serves to capture a memory and to serve as a reminder of the day. What matters is that you feel special and beautiful in the moment, and that your husband or wife to be make you aware of your beauty. Congratulations btw!

Post # 23
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Aww, it sucks you have so much anxiety over this. You might have already said this, but are you having a hair and make up trial before your wedding? That should put you at ease with those elements. In your trial, make sure to speak up if you don’t like it. It’s called a “trial” for a reason. Make sure to stay and communicate with your stylists until you get a look you are satisfied with. 

As for the day of, this might sound dumb, but watch “America’s next top model”! I ended up binge watching the show in college because it was so fun (at least like the first few cycles) but you pick up so many posing tips and how to work angles and expressions. Also, practice makes perfect, so practice in the mirror!! Yes, you might feel ridiculous making faces at yourself, but figure out what your natural smile looks like and in photos it might need to be tweaked. For example, my sister’s natural smile is fantastic, but she knows sometimes in front of a camera, her eyes get a little squinted so she makes a conscious effort to open them a bit more than what may feel natural to her. Also, through practicing in the mirror I realized I have a pretty decent “romantic/sultry/serious” face and my big smile looks kind of ridiculous. On my wedding day, I made sure a lot of my poses allowed for the more serious look and saved my over the top smile for candid moments. 

Regardless though, your happiness and love will show in the pictures and you really only need a few to hold on to forever anyway!

Post # 24
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I have the same fears! I hardly ever like photos of myself, but I really would like a few from the day that I love.

Post # 25
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’m right there with you. I rarely like photos of myself. I never seem to look directly at the camera, smile too big and squint, squish my arms against my sides making them look bigger, you name it. I am very emotional and I am sure I am going to cry, which is never pretty. We are eloping to another country, and I am worried about my hair and makeup. I will have a trial there, but what if I don’t like the products they have and what they do? I am doing a trail here to determine colors and the look, taking photos so I can be my own inspiration look When I get there. F1 thinks I’m nuts. I am also a little older and am dealing with the effects of gravity on my face Which I am actively working on. For whatever reason, often times makeup artists tend to put way too much makeup on me and I feel I look like a drag queen. I am getting airbrushed so I hope I can look glamourous and finished without looking like a dude. Who knew it would be this complicated?

There are tons of articles/blogs and pins written on how to look good in photos, how to pose and hold your head. I’m seriously considering practicing and having my kid take pictures to try break myself of my bad photo habits. We waited a long time to get to this and I really want some great photos. 

Post # 26
Member
3310 posts
Sugar bee

I always feel super awkward having my photo taken. I’ve been stressing about the possibility of ending up with no nice wedding photos. I have a tendency to pull faces without realising. I’ve always hated my smile, I have braces right now and I have no idea how my teeth will look when they come off. 

A friend is doing an engagement shoot for us so hopefully that will show me that it’s possible to get nice photos.

I’ve been practicing holding good posture too.

Post # 27
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

MAKE UP TRIAL!  I did 2 to get it exactly right and even though I am not happy with some other aspects of the photos, at least my makeup came out good.

 

Post # 28
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - pier 5 hotel

Yes! I’m so nervous! I’m not a gorgeous model type but I think I’m at least a pretty cute girl next door type but I never look good in photos. I’m just not photogenic…to the point where friends close to me say “I don’t get it! Your cute! Why dont ur photos show it ever?”

Needless to say this is a huge worry for me! We picked a photographer that is photo journalistic bc we liked his photos but also bc they tend to do more candid vs posed. I’m hoping if the photos are more of when I’m not noticing and in the moment, it will look better. We’re still doing bridal party pics, but also more candid ones too.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  tinker44.
  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  tinker44.
Post # 29
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

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lizknope:  I’m sorry you’re feeling this anxiety! As someone who does photography and photo editing as part of my career, I will give you this advice (sorry it’s so lengthy!) If you have a good photographer who can “take the lead” then everything should be just fine so long as you are able to have open diaglogue with them about it. Get in touch with them again fairly soon and discuss your concerns. Communicate what you are afraid will happen as well as what outcome you would prefer instead.

If for instance a bride is self-conscious about a particular feature (like their teeth/smile, or their hair, stomach, etc,) a good photographer can find ways to make them look their best with that in mind. If a bride hates open-mouth smiling because she doesnt like her teeth, then it’s important for the photographer to know that. “Smile big!” might communicate an expression of marital bliss to some, but it could communicate terror and self-consciousness to others and putting yourself out there like that WILL make your nervousness show up in your pictures.

Understand that you will never see yourself exactly how other people see you and what you fear won’t look good may actually look just fine to everyone else. Because of this, you must be vulnerable and discuss with your photographer EXACTLY what you’re worried about and give them liberty to figure out poses AND give you active direction during the photoshoot to make you feel as beautiful as you should in your pics!

If your concerns are more general than limited to a specific area, then gather photos of yourself that you dislike and show them to your photographer. Tell them “I’m doing the thing… I don’t feel beautiful like this” and they might be able to quickly tell you what’s wrong. Perhaps you hunch your shoulders subconsciously, or get nervous when looking directly into the camera, or maybe it just doesn’t look good because of poor lighting and camera quality! Explain the “mood” of the photoshoot more if needed. Is it a fairy tale wedding? Modern chic? Boho charm? Classic bridal? Make sure they *get* it so they can help you get in that mindset and communicate that in your pics.

Help them help you and make sure your photographer seems confident that they can help you! If they seem puzzled about you asking for help in this area, you may want to rethink who is doing your pics…

At the end of the day, good photography will make you look good without a lot of dependence upon what’s going on with your hair, makeup, dress, shoes, or anything else! Even if something just isn’t picture perfect, do your best to take it in stride and request additional PhotoShop editing if needed to make it up to par 😉 Think of those Natural Geographic pics that make people look amazing even when they are incredibly “natural,” like a portrait of children covered in dirt and worn clothes from a poverty-stricken nation, or a very aged individual with deep wrinkles and soulful eyes; if they can look amazing just the way they are because of great photography, then you as the bride should be stunning and proud of your pics!

Post # 30
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I’m pretty nervous about this too! I don’t mind photos of myself if I’m looking at the camera, posing/smiling whatever but it’s the candid ones I’m worried about. I’m kind of shy and withdrawn so I always look super awkward when caught off guard. My photographer is amazing and he always takes all these great shots of people crazy dancing at the reception but I don’t want to be in those ones! My best friend recently got married and there’s a pro photo of me dancing and just looking the like this awkward lanky thing :/ 

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