(Closed) Matron of Honor etiquette

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I would just tell her that the hair and makeup on the wedding day will be $200, and ask her if that’s OK with her, or if she would rather do her own. Then again, I’m passive agressive like that.

As for the trip, although it’s supposed to be her responsibility to pay for the "Bachelorette", I would not "expect" her to, so maybe just ask her to chip in for gas.

Post # 4
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I would expect to pay gas and then if she pitches in be happy (thay way you are not disappointed) or if you feel comfortable, ask her to split it.

You don’t say what you or she does for a living, but I’m a student and I know that spending $500 even just for travel expenses is a lot even though you have been more than generous in paying for her dress and makup.  

It sounds like she wants to celebrate with you but can’t afford it – hence the "let’s split the hotel" cost. I’m not familiar with American traditions, but I didn’t know the Maid/Matron of Honor paid for the bachelorette party. . . . it seems like a lot to expect 


Post # 5
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

The bridesmaids are all supposed to chip in and pay for your bridal shower and bachelorette party — so putting it all on her to pay for the hotel herself is a little much.  That said, you are not responsible for paying for hair and makeup for your bridesmaids.  Give them the cost, and if they can afford it — great, if not they can do their own.  I have a total of 4 bm’s (including the moh), so the costs of things are shared between them and aren’t so bad.

I would split the trip 50/50 with her, have her pay for her own hair and makeup, and enjoy your day!

Post # 6
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

This is definitely a common issue that arises.  Brides get so excited about asking people to be int he bridal party, but so very few know that they should discuss responsibilities, duties and expected costs up front.

Sounds like this is the case here.  I think you should have a quick conversation with your Maid/Matron of Honor to discuss expectations, both yours and hers.  If she has financial contraints, it should be discusses so there’s no awkardness for either of you.

You picked her as your Maid/Matron of Honor for a reason, so focus on the fact that your close friend will be standing next to you during your most important moment.  Keep in mind that while she accepted the role, she may not be aware all that you expect from her.  So clear it up now to ensure that your day is fantastic.

There’s good info on the Maid/Matron of Honor role here:


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