Post # 1
I am confused about what the Matron of Honor is expected to pay for and what I should pay for…I know that traditionally all of the bridesmaids and the Matron of Honor pay for their dresses, shoes, and travel expenses. However, I ended up paying for my Matron of Honor’s dress ($200) by default because I had prepaid for another bridesmaid who could not afford the dress and then ended up getting pregnant and not being able to be a bridesmaid. I asked her if she wants to get her hair and makeup done the day of the wedding and she said she does (and I know she is expecting me to pay for her=another $200). She is going to pay for her own travel expenses for the wedding which should total around $500.
So here’s the dilema…My Matron of Honor and I have decided to take a road trip one weekend instead of a Bachelorette party. The hotel is going to cost about $250 for 2 nights and we haven’t even discussed who is paying for gas (I’m driving). She wants to split the hotel costs for this trip and I really think this is something she should take care of. What should I do???
Post # 3
I would just tell her that the hair and makeup on the wedding day will be $200, and ask her if that’s OK with her, or if she would rather do her own. Then again, I’m passive agressive like that.
As for the trip, although it’s supposed to be her responsibility to pay for the "Bachelorette", I would not "expect" her to, so maybe just ask her to chip in for gas.
Post # 4
I would expect to pay gas and then if she pitches in be happy (thay way you are not disappointed) or if you feel comfortable, ask her to split it.
You don’t say what you or she does for a living, but I’m a student and I know that spending $500 even just for travel expenses is a lot even though you have been more than generous in paying for her dress and makup.
It sounds like she wants to celebrate with you but can’t afford it – hence the "let’s split the hotel" cost. I’m not familiar with American traditions, but I didn’t know the Maid/Matron of Honor paid for the bachelorette party. . . . it seems like a lot to expect
Post # 5
The bridesmaids are all supposed to chip in and pay for your bridal shower and bachelorette party — so putting it all on her to pay for the hotel herself is a little much. That said, you are not responsible for paying for hair and makeup for your bridesmaids. Give them the cost, and if they can afford it — great, if not they can do their own. I have a total of 4 bm’s (including the moh), so the costs of things are shared between them and aren’t so bad.
I would split the trip 50/50 with her, have her pay for her own hair and makeup, and enjoy your day!
Post # 6
This is definitely a common issue that arises. Brides get so excited about asking people to be int he bridal party, but so very few know that they should discuss responsibilities, duties and expected costs up front.
Sounds like this is the case here. I think you should have a quick conversation with your Maid/Matron of Honor to discuss expectations, both yours and hers. If she has financial contraints, it should be discusses so there’s no awkardness for either of you.
You picked her as your Maid/Matron of Honor for a reason, so focus on the fact that your close friend will be standing next to you during your most important moment. Keep in mind that while she accepted the role, she may not be aware all that you expect from her. So clear it up now to ensure that your day is fantastic.
There’s good info on the Maid/Matron of Honor role here: