(Closed) Matron of Honor's husband is leaving her

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s possible that helping you plan could actually be a good distraction for her, but if it makes her uncomfortable, I would ask family for help with any of the (non-bachelorette) wedding details you can’t do yourself. And who says you can’t have a hand in planning your own bachelorette? If you have an idea of who’s coming, you can ask those ladies for a hand as well…wedding party or no, I’m sure they’ll understand and may even be excited to have a say in how the evening will be spent.

That being said, I think it should be up to your sister whether her soon-to-be-ex/the asshat is still invited. If she says she doesn’t want him there, then I think your allegiance should be to her feelings over any ettiquette issues surrounding invitation withdrawl in this instance.

As a last thought, it might be nice to offer her a girls’ weekend away with no wedding talk at all, where you guys just mellow out over cocktails or massages or whatever. Giving her some time away where it’s all about her would be a great way to show your support for her during this difficult time and give her a break from wedding stuff.

Post # 18
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

First of all, I’d just talk to her and explain how I felt if I were you. Tell her everything you told us here. Secondly, ask her if she’d like one of your other BMs to plan the bachelorette festivities. Just open a line of communication. Be sure to mention how much she means to you and how heartbroken for her that you are. You’ll be able to figure things out together. 

Post # 19
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Odess:  im so sorry this has happened to you… it happened to me too.. my poor sister. i felt so awful.. but if your sister is like mine she enoyed helpign me plan my wedding for the distraction it provided her. i hope you are both ok

Post # 20
Member
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

That sucks.  I would definitely talk to her about it and let her know that you know she is going to be overwhelmed for the next few months and that your other BMs can take over some of the Maid/Matron of Honor responsibilities.  Personally, I am torn about whether to offer her the opportunity to bow out as your Maid/Matron of Honor.  On one hand, it gives her the chance to escape the extra duties and not have to have your wedding right in her face.  On the other hand, being your Maid/Matron of Honor may give her something to look forward to and help her keep a bit of sanity.  Divorce physically hurts but she needs you and your family more than ever right now to remind her that she is a good person and that she will get through this.

Post # 21
Member
2780 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Ask the BMs to help her with the planning of everything she needs to do, I’m sure they will be more then happy to help and very understanding of the situation. I would reccommend against taking responsibilities away from your sister though, since those may be the only thing keeping her together, keeping busy helps prevent her from dwelling and breaking down. I would just get the girls to offer up help so she isn’t overwhelmed and can still keep as busy as she chooses.

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