(Closed) Matron of Honour Issue!!! Am I too sensitive? Should I be annoyed?(LONG)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@hotsoup: ugh, so weird and frustrating. There is still the chance she is able to fack things being good with ppl she doesnt know as well…but is more embarrased to tell you? I dunnno….im grasping at straws 🙁

Post # 19
1708 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@hotsoup:  I would write her a letter expressing how you feel. Let her know that if there is a problem, you’d like to get it out in the open and talk it out to try and resolve it. If she still doesn’t respond, at least you tried and did all you could to save the friendship. Sorry she’s being this way!

Post # 21
127 posts
Blushing bee

I will be an armchair therapist –

IMO  shes depressed.

She hates whats happening in her life, and when other people, even her best friend, are loving life, it makes her even pissier. Post partum depression? Agnst at having to work when she rather be with her family, or having less responsibilities?  Shes had a LOT of life changes, and is a Christian to boot.  There are a lot of unspoken rules for being a Christian wife and Mother if she is a fundamentalist, and trying to live up to others expectations while you see your friends having freedom in how they live life can be realllly annoying.


Shes able to talk nicey nice talk with your friends, because thats something you are taught to do in church – be polite, cordial and nice when talking to people who dont know you – thats actually a wonderful trait in church ladies 🙂 Think of fellowship time. Its easier to chat with someone whose a stranger then someone who knows you and your good and bad side LOL 

SO, Has nothing to do with you, everything to do with her. Be a friend in writing and ask whats really wrong, and tell her “I miss YOU”. Ask her how you can help make her life easier right now, that would work out for both of you. Be ready to hear her angry ugly thoughts on everything. Sometimes its not so nice being a mom and wife. Sometimes it really sucks. Shes living a role right now, one that no one knows about except her, in her minds eye.

And most importantly, be ready to let go of your friendship if she really means it. sometimes these things like depression cant be cured.  Its up to her.




Post # 23
127 posts
Blushing bee

Ah  “but what I really want to know is how and when I should go about informing her that I don’t want her at my side on my wedding day if she fails to contact me.”  – thats the real reason you need to know whats up then…

Well, if you give it a final try, in written form (reviewed by your Fiance before sending out so he can make sure the cuss words are taken out lol I know you wouldnt do that…).  I think you will get your answer after that.  Its somewhat like the last letter written before you proceed with legal action if this was a legal issue.  Written form gives you evidence to show others if they ask you whats up – esp if she decides to go the “well, she went all bridezilla on me so its her fault im not coming”. You can show them that you gave her all opportunity to physically support the wedding to YOU and your Fiance, not all this nicey nice cheap talk with others. Putting her nicely in the corner so to speak so that she has to say YES im onboard, or NO, I hate you or MAYBE if i feel like it.  I take it you are looking for the YES answer 🙂

Maybe she is setting you up for the fall so she can feel superior, or to get out of being with you; i dont know. But it seems to me she is living dual roles for everyone here – and by calling her on her true intentions via written notice, you will have your final answer.

The topic ‘Matron of Honour Issue!!! Am I too sensitive? Should I be annoyed?(LONG)’ is closed to new replies.

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