(Closed) May 5 wedding date is no longer valid?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m going to ask the inevitable question: What happened between you and your FI?

Otherwise, I’m sorry that your plans fell through! I think my relatives would probably do the same though, if one of my parents decided not to attend. 🙁

Post # 5
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

OK well clearly whatever happened between you and your Fiance is the reason why your mother is refusing to help with your wedding.  It is difficult to help without knowing the situation.

Post # 6
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I am sorry things aren’t going as planned. The only thing that matters is if you get married. Honestly though, I would wait until the trial is over and start with a clean start. Maybe once everythings gets settled your mom will be more open.

Post # 8
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If your name is on the deed, she can’t legally keep your half of the money from you. 

Post # 9
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

By co-owners do you mean that your name is on the title to the property? Did you enter into a formal agreement to pay your mother for the home, or to give her the proceeds if it is sold? If not, then depending on the laws of your state, you may be entitled to half of the house. I would get legal advice to  determine what your rights are to the home.

I’m sorry that you are going through this. I have no clue what the situation is that caused the fight or if your mother is ‘justified’ in not coming, but it is NEVER easy to not get along with a parent, no matter who is responsible. Maybe you should still plan a great elopement that you can both look forward to, without all the stress of having guests.

Post # 11
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

What about friends and your fiance’s family? Surely there are some members of your side of the family that can look past your mother’s stance and make a decision to support you on your day based on their own feelings? What about any family members you are especially close to, like cousins, aunts, uncles?  Make it known how important it is for them to be there for you.

I think if you want a wedding, have a wedding! Get a dress, go through with your plans and be happy, because you deserve it. Your mother not attending your wedding is clearly her exerting her opinion of your fiance and trying to make you feel guilty/bad for marrying him or whatever you did/not do involving the court case. She’s entitled to that, but you don’t have to go along with it. I know she’s your mom, but just forget about her. If it’s not positive energy, just forget about it.

Post # 13
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry that you are going through this. I know this isn’t what you want, but can you push your wedding date back? If a wedding is what you want, is it worth it for you to have the wedding you really want in a few months, once all the dust settles? If you are 100% sure that your mother is in the wrong, I would wait for the outcome of the court case to prove that you and your Fiance are innocent, for her to apologize and for you to move forward with the wedding that you want and deserve to have.

Post # 15
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

And FWIW, I don’t have parents that are coming to my wedding at all because they don’t support our religious choices — we are Catholic and getting married in a Catholic church and they are not — they were never going to come around and support us, so we made the choice to have our wedding the way we wanted. I have my grandparents, and three uncles and aunts coming and that’s it. It’s hard having a small family presence when my Fiance has such a huge family, but we’re making it work. At the ceremony, we are asking guests not to choose sides to sit, instead we are having a sign that says “Today two families are becoming one, so we ask that you please choose a seat, not a side”, this way the church won’t look so lopsided. 🙂

Just a thought in case you decide to go ahead with your May 5 wedding. Other people do it, and I promise it will all work out! 🙂

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