(Closed) May have to cancel wedding :-/

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 4
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’d be interested to know why your Fiance isn’t all that keen on working.  I wouldn’t be so worried about paying off the wedding as I would be sitting down and having a very frank conversation with your Fiance.  Is he going to expect to be supported during your marriage?  Is this an arrangement that you are comfortable with?

Everything happens for a reason.  Maybe the reason for this is to take a step back and review what’s going on in your life right now and made changes and tweaks as you deem to be appropriate.

No offense, but a real man will take care of his fiancee, ESPECIALLY if she is having a rough time.  What, is he completely oblivious to all of this and still sitting around doing nothing about it?  Are the kids you speak of both of yours, or just yours?  Real great father figure, letting you shoulder the burden by yourself.

You need to talk to this guy and explain what is going on.  I’m assuming you’ve told him that you can’t afford the wedding and will have to call it off?

Post # 5
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Also, if you decide that you actually want to marry this guy, I would contact your venue and vendors and explain the situation and see if they can push the date back without losing your deposits.  They might be flexible and offer you some leeway.

Post # 6
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’d be more concerned about the fact that your Fiance doesn’t see the need to work for a living. I’ve seen a lot of friends (and my mom!) end up married to a deadbeat and it really is awful. I’m not saying that’s what your Fiance is, only you know him, but I’d certainly be concerned because you can’t really expect him to change when you marry him.

Post # 7
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Yes, he needs to support you more & help you out, you do need to have a talk about it. 

Post # 8
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would be sitting down and having a heart to heart with this man about contributing to the relationship. There aren’t many of us who get to sit around and do nothing. As hard as it is to find the perfect job, it is almost always possible to find some work that will contibute to the family’s finances. If that means retail, working in fast food, washing dishes,or yard and garden work- he can get up off his derriere and do something.

In your situation, I would be re-assessing my choice of life partner.

Post # 9
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

my advice would be to treat your job search like a full time job. networking is key, let everyone you know that you are looking for work. there is no shame in it, many people are in your boat right now. you never know when you will meet someone who can help you.

could you and your fh get some counseling regarding the relationship and making equal contributions?

Post # 10
37 posts
  • Wedding: December 2012

@ViaMinorViator:  Me too. I’d be interested in why your Fiance doesn’t go work. I HATE guys to be deadbeat. No offense, just my opinion.

I think a real relationship is supposed to be equal, without only one side to put on effort. I ditto what pp said here. You really need to have a talk with your Fiance.

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