(Closed) May have to reschedule AGAIN…help????

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 18
Member
8451 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@KT_Hime:  If you’re going to Disney, try to go the week BEFORE Christmas. It’s the cheapest and least crowded period of the entire year. I had no idea that this was the case, but just coincidentally planned our first Disney visit for Dec 22 – 26. I could not believe how easy it was to get on rides etc the first few days. Then, Christmas day was like a lightswitch flipped — pure madhouse. The 26th was the same, I was glad we were leaving, and very happy that more of our vacation was before Christmas than after. 

I absolutely would not make the wedding date later, and I think it would be easier to replan the honeymoon than changing the wedding date back to August again. I totally understand why you would rather do that, and it sounds like the inlaws have had way too much input, but draw a line in the sand now — we’re having our wedding on THIS date, and leaving for our honeymoon on THIS date come hell or high water. Like someone else said — plan and pay for the honeymoon now so it can’t be postponed.

Post # 20
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@KT_Hime:  I agree with your reasoning; the wedding should be in August. You’re going to have to sit down calmly with your Fiance, explain your reasoning again, and also explain that you feel your husband is putting his family’s opinions over your feelings, and lets face it– logic.

I work in education, so I spend all my vacations traveling when everyone else in the world is traveling, and yes, it’s far more expensive over the major holidays.

Also, does his family not realize that if you go on your honeymoon over thanksgiving or Christmas break, you definitely will not be celebrating that holiday with them? I don’t think they are being logical, so it makes me wonder what their motivations are in general— do they oppose the marriage? Think he’s too young?

Post # 22
Member
7384 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@dmk90716:  I agree with this, that’s very frustrating. We’re having a similar issue (though no family drama)–FI goes back to school the week after the wedding, so we have to postpone the honeymoon to either December when school is out, or Spring Break. December means we’ll miss his family’s Christmas celebration, but honestly, that happens every. single. year. I told him that he can miss one so that we can go on our honeymoon and celebrate our marriage alone. Your Fiance needs to learn how to compromise with you, otherwise you’ll run into bigger problems down the road.

Post # 23
Member
3345 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I had a similar issue.  Our wedding was at the end of August, and we would have had only 1 week to go somewhere, which wasn’t enough time for what we had planned.  We didn’t want to wait until Christmas (we were not going to a tropical beach location), and didn’t want to wait until next spring/summer (his sister is getting married in the Dominican Republic, there was no way I was going to wait until after her wedding).  

Our solution:  Go on the honeymoon trip before the wedding.  It was a bit unconventional, but we were able to enjoy our trip, it didn’t feel rushed, and it was actually kind of nice to take a break from planning.  

Post # 25
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Daisy_Mae:  

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@KT_Hime:  It may be less crowded but the week before Christmas is now peak season (highest) rates…they have changed it. I know this because we are planning our wedding for the week before Christmas this year to skip crowds and thought it would be cheapest rates as well according to all the travel sites but I now know that is not true after looking on their site and receiving the hotel price list.

Post # 26
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@KT_Hime:  Sweetie, I don’t think you really grasp what I’m saying. It’s not about moving so far away that you don’t have to deal with his family. It’s waiting until you guys are mature enough that this kind of thing isn’t an issue and I just don’t know if both of you are there yet. If you marry him, then anything that happens like this while you’re married is just as much your fault and you’d have very little place to complain. Why? Because you were aware of the problem before you got married.

I understand that a lot of people are in a rush to the alter simply because you love him (and he loves you), but the way both parties deals with familial relationships needs to be something you seriously look at, because it just gets worse. If there is a point where either one of you aren’t willing to tell someone NO and let them have the problem, it’s not time to get married and YOU need to know when to bow out gracefully, too. This is your life too.

So maybe you should postpone the wedding, but not because there isn’t a time where it’s convenient for all the family – but for a time where both of you no longer care what anyone thinks and are going to do things regardless of what the outside forces are going to do because you are grown ups and that’s what grown ups do. You might be there – but your future spouse isn’t yet.

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