(Closed) May not be able to make it to my sister's wedding

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4929 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

@HUstrawberry:  I think you should ask your bosses for the time off, honestly. It’s your SISTER’s wedding, not a random friend or cousin. They should understand. 

Post # 5
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would at least ask. And if they say no? I don’t know. Is she getting married on the saturday? Maybe ask for a half day the friday instead of the whole day to give you travel time? Will it be possible to leave late on friday or super early the Saturday morning to make it to Vegas in time for the wedding? Even if you ditch your Bridesmaid or Best Man duties and show up in the nick of time for the ceremony… I’m sure that would be a whole lot better than not being there at all… 

Post # 6
5544 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

Unless she were in the hospital dying, my sister not being at my wedding would irreverably damage our relationship. Jobs are important yes, but there are and will be other jobs, family is forever. I would at least try. Though I am not sure why you waited until less than a month before her wedding to make travel arrangments and buy your bm dress? 


Post # 7
4656 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I can’t imagine a boss so evil they’d cause problems over a sister’s wedding? 

Post # 8
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think you at least need to try to go.  Explain to your boss how important the job is and you totally understand if it is impossible but you would love for them to think about letting you go to your sister’s wedding because she is extremely important to you and would love to witness her marriage.

Post # 9
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think you should explore your options with your new job before making a decision. 

Post # 11
8681 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@HUstrawberry:  Negotiate. Say in return you will work over Christmas when others might need leave etc etc. Unless you boss is pure evil or your work hours are uncoverable then they should be able to accommodate you. Is there anyone at work who does a different shift that could cover you or swap with you? I would try and find this out before going to your employer. If you have a workable solution in hand it will make it harder for them to say no.

Post # 13
1014 posts
Bumble bee

I’m going to have to go against the grain here and say that if I were your sister I would be horrified to find out that you had potentially jeopardised your new job and your ability to pay your bills for the sake of coming to my wedding.  I would like my sister at my wedding, but it wouldn’t damage our relationship in the slightest if she were unable to attend because she couldn’t take off work soon after starting a new job.  I think you should talk to her and see how she feels about the situation.

Post # 14
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I don’t see any harm in asking your employer if you could have a day off to go to the wedding.  But I would make absolutely sure that I was only asking for a single day and let them know where would be no hard feelings if they had to turn your request down.  

Post # 15
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Ooooow… you didn’t mention it at the interview? Well no matter. If they let you go/don’t hire you for taking one or two days off for your own sisters wedding it is probably not the “dream job” you are thinking anyway.

Post # 16
7680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@HUstrawberry:  Is it possible to ask for just the Saturday off, and be there for the wedding for the absolute minimum amount of time? i.e. fly in late Friday night, fly out late Saturday night, You say you’ve got to be available for weekends, but surely you can request one day? Or organise a swap with someone?

EDIT: But if push comes to shove, bread on the table comes ahead of your sister’s wedding. When your sister decided on a destination wedding (which is what I assume Vegas is), she’s got to expect sometimes people can’t travel.

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