(Closed) Maybe I’m wrong?

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Is the person your Future Mother-In-Law added invited to the wedding?

If not then I’d say it’s an easy removal b/c it’s bad etiquette to not invite those invited to pre-wedding parties/gatherings to the wedding.

Otherwise, I’m not real sure…. for ours we were just going to invite all the women that were invited to the wedding…

Post # 4
Member
1842 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Is your Future Mother-In-Law paying anything toward the wedding?  Typically if they are helping pay, they have a say.

In my area, it is typical for mothers and even grandmothers to invite their friends to wedding showers, but those women are also invited to the wedding.  Since you’re having a smaller wedding, maybe this won’t apply to you but we gave both parents the ability to invite their close friends, neighbors, etc., even though we don’t know them (and we are paying for our wedding 100% by ourselves).

Post # 6
Member
7679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
@madmaven:

If this person is not invited to the wedding-Don’t have her invited to the shower.  Yeah, I’d tell them not to invite her/take her off the list!  Good Luck with your FMIL!

Post # 7
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d say use the line of ettiquette and lean on that…

It’s typically really bad taste to invite someone to the wedding shower who isn’t invited to the wedding. It seems like the simplest line to put down.

Post # 8
Member
2656 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Dont invite her.Make it simple.

Post # 9
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would say dont invite her. If you dont know her I am going to assume she is not invited to the wedding, and then you wouldnt want her at the shower bc everyone invited to the shower needes to be invited to the wedding, and I can make the assumption by you wanting an intamate ceremony you dont want to add this total stranger. I kow your trying to keep the peace and I think thats great. But you should have the wedding that you have invisioned so dont invite her or anyone else that you dont want to for that matter.

Post # 9
Member
5785 posts
Bee Keeper

Really…what difference does it make? Maybe she just wants to show you off, or she’s attended showers for her friend’s girls before and would like her to be there. Will she know anyone else there (your FMIL)? I’m sure her friend already knows she won’t be invited to the wedding, so I really see it as no big deal. It isn’t like she’s added 40 people you don’t know.

I had a few friends as did my daughter’s Future Mother-In-Law, and they even told us they wouldn’t be able to make the wedding but wanted to attend the shower. They came and everybody had a great time.

Post # 11
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@madmaven: I gave to say this sort of thing makes my blood boil on your behalf! You see soooo many posts regarding family members interfering with the guest list, and various other aspects of the wedding. If it was me I would tell her to GTF (politely, if she’s a nice woman!). It’s YOUR wedding and YOUR shower. I don’t even agree that rellies who are contributing money to your wedding should get a say in what goes on. You’re an adult – you’re your own person and anyone who gifts you money towards your day should have the good grace to let you do things exactly your own way.  Maybe she totally means well and isn’t intentionally being cheeky, but I think you should kindly but firmly nip this sort of thing in the bud, because your gonna be married to her son for a long time. Start as you mean to go on, and best of British to you!!Smile

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