(Closed) Maybe its just me..

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am in the same situation. All my friends are either planning a wedding, newly weds or just got engaged. I guess it’s the time because of my age group, but c;mon already. Now I have a group of friends that are getting pregnant and I’m not even engaged yet…. brutal!!! πŸ˜‰

Post # 5
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Me and SO- 1.5 years

Brother and FI- .75…..

Right there with ya..

Post # 6
Member
320 posts
Helper bee

Yep, right there with you

Been with my SO 4 years on the 14th of this month and I’m still waiting for him to ask me to marry him.

All of my friends are waaaaayyyyy ahead of me.  Pretty much all of my friends are married or engaged now, the ones that are married are all having babies now too.  I even have one friend that’s been with her SO 2 years less than I have and they’re already married and expecting a baby. Ugh!!

Post # 8
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee

Yup, all my friends are getting married and pregnant.

Post # 9
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Its a female thing… just know that when its your day and it comes it will be wonderful and special. Just enjoy your relationship and your boyfriend and let things happen naturally. My Fiance and I have been together 6 years and we are getting married this June and I honestly feel if we did it 3 years ago the beginning of our marriage would have been harder because I dont think either of us would have been ready. 

Post # 10
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’ve been with my SO for almost 7 years, and I know there are some other VERY patient bees out there (10+ years)!  A lot of people I know are already on baby #2!  The reality is this: you are with a man you love, and he loves you and is making it known to you that he is working to give you exactly what you deserve: the best.  The best engagement ring, the best engagement story, etc.  His actions of how much he loves you are even better than a ring (though rings are sooo pretty! πŸ™‚ ).  Some days the waiting can get difficult…but hang in there and know that he loves you!!!

Post # 12
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s not just you! Me too! I can’t even stand it! Everyone is getting married and having babies, and getting engaged! It’s not even fair. How can people who have been dating 6 months and get engaged and Im not!!!!

Post # 13
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

Luckily all my closest friends are in school or just finished school so no one has had a good chance to get there yet! I hope I’m the first πŸ™‚  Your day will come and it will be perfect!

Post # 14
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

Ahhhh ladies…I’m approaching 10 years.  All my friends are married.  Many have one or more children.  But I love them and I am so happy I’ve been able to share in the joyous occasions in their lives, and they will be even more thrilled for me when my day finally comes!  I definitely understand because I was on this rollercoaster of emotion the past few years during all my friends’ and sister’s weddings, but it gets easier!  Begrudging others’ happiness is bad karma.  

Even though it’s hard and some days you feel crazy, just try to remember why you love the person you are with and want to spend your life with them.  Trust me, I’ve had times through the years when I said (to myself) that I would leave if I didn’t get a proposal by x day, but when it came down to it, I love him and don’t want to imagine my life with anyone else.  But, for the days when waiting totally sucks and you need to vent, well thank goodness for the Bee haha!    

I still have emotional days where I feel down about it all, but lately I’ve been trying to focus on making myself happy, following my own dreams, and you know what?  SO has been my biggest cheerleader!  So make yourself happy and don’t wait for someone else to do it for you! 

 

Post # 15
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am in the same boat. I have been with my SO for almost 5.5 years. We got an apartment together 3years ago. He recently moved back home though to live (monday-friday) since he got a job closer to home. I now only see him on the weekends. I am currently in my last 8 weeks of college. Once I graduate I plan on getting a new place with him closer to home. However, I would prefer to have the commitment before we move out and get another place together again. To top it off my brother was only dating his girlfriend of less than 2 years before they got engaged. She is only a year and a half older than me! Plus I have many friends who are engaged, married, and some are already on their 2nd child!

Post # 16
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think the amount of time just varies from couple to couple. I was anxious to get married from probably 6 months after we started dating! I wound up getting upset and brought it up wayyy too much to my now Fiance, which really turned him off and we wound up waiting longer than we would have. (It really wasn’t very long-but he told me in conversation that it probably would have been shorter, but he feel so pressured)

Having said that, I said from the beginning that I definitely wanted to get married at some point and that I wouldn’t really want to wait a very long period of time and he agreed with me, so we were both on at least similar pages from the beginning.

I found that while bringing it up and acting impatient DIDN’T work, sitting down and having a serious conversation did. One, day, when it just kind of came up in coversation, I just had a small coversation with him and said something like “you know, I really don’t want to pressure you, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to do something if you aren’t ready, but I’d really like to know if there is something in particular stopping you from asking.” He gave me some reasons why men in general might not ask right away (that didn’t have to do with not EVER wanting to get married- i.e. financial situations, the relationship going through a rocky point etc.), and I asked him if he felt that way about me or if those things were getting in the way of us getting engaged because I would like to try to fix something if it was our relationship. He thought about it and said, “no not really. I think it’s just kind of that the weeks go by and I just haven’t done it and by the time you know it months have gone by.”

Lo and behold, next month I got my ring! πŸ™‚ I think that, for him, it really just wasn’t on the top of his list, but when he saw that I thought that it might mean he thought there was an issue with “us,” he realized that there really wasn’t anything stopping him and got on the ball πŸ™‚

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