(Closed) “maybe” RSVP’s

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Is she saying she won’t come if she doesn’t have a date?

My Fiance went to a wedding a few yrs back – an old friend of his, who happened to be my ex as well – the invite said ‘Enda & friend’ – come on, they didn’t know my name?? –  but Fiance still wanted to go, so he brought his brother and they had a great day.

If she didn’t have a date, would she know enough people at your wedding to enjoy the day?

Post # 4
4485 posts
Honey bee

No such thing as a maybe. Tell them you require a yes or no and that if they don’t reply with a yes, that you will count them as a no. Say it firmly once and if you still don’t get a response, then she goes into the no category.

Post # 5
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would go ahead and assume that they have dates.  As it gets closer to when you need a set number I would ask again so you still can have a good number for your caterer.

Post # 7
4485 posts
Honey bee

Tell her that you have a deadline that the caterer has imposed so that you need a headcount by such and such a date and that you need to know for absolute certain if the friend can attend or if she is attending by herself. I wouldn’t harrass her but make it clear that she needs to make a decision soon or else you won’t be able to accomodate the friend if you don’t know who all is attending. A good friend will understand this.

Post # 8
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@starrynight: I think the best thing to do is give her an edited version of what you just told us. Something like:

“I don’t want to pressure you like this is the prom or something, but I will need to know by X date if you plan on bringing a date. It’s important for the caterers. I want you to have a ton of fun and for this to not be stressful, but this is the real deadline. Thanks for understanding!”

Post # 9
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

One my fiance’s friends never replied, we emailed him, and he said he wasn’t sure if he could find a ride.  Then he called me last week, and he was like… “I HAVE ANSWER FOR YOU!  I’m probably coming, and I’m trying to find a date who can drive me”.

Seriously… our wedding is now ten days away, and he still hasn’t committed either way.  Grrr…

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