(Closed) Maybe she’s NOT the best choice for MOH?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

When is your wedding?

Post # 4
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If those actions are enough for you to separate her from yourself, then go for it.

However, what she does in her personal life, I think, is NOYB and certainly nothing to end an friendship over.

Post # 5
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If your wedding date is accurate at August of 2013, I think you need to wait a while.  Like til January.  It’s still very early!

 

ETA:  Also seriously agree that what she does in her personal life is no concern of yours.  Do not judge her for anything other than how good of a friend she is to you.

Post # 6
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

ouch. this is tough. ultimately you have to go with your gut feelings.   I was struggling with picking my Maid/Matron of Honor.  i finally decided not to have a Maid/Matron of Honor. my brother will act as my witness. My mother is planning the bridal shower with a bm, another bm is planning the baclorette party. and the person who i was first contemplating to be my  Moh, isn’t even a bm.  i had 1.5 years to decide, and am glad i took my time.  I talked to my Fiance about it, he was really supportive. Have you tried that?  good luck

 

Post # 8
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t have an answer to the more personal stuff but I vote C! I wish I had a gay best friend. He might do better helping with things from across the country than the other two women. 

Post # 9
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You don’t NEED a Maid/Matron of Honor, to book your venue/decor/flowers. Have confidence with your self, and bring a friend/parent/sibling. We book all our companies before the one year mark, without the bridal party.  When friends asked about the bridal party, I would reply we are still discussing if we want a large bridal party vs just having witnesses., which was the truth.

As for your friend dating the married man.  It seems like you & your Fiance have already made your mind up, that you would prefer not to have her as your Maid/Matron of Honor, b/c u keep bringing up her private life. It seems like her love life is driving your decision. Doesn’t matter who she dates,  by the time you are married, she could be married and pregnant w/ his child, or with some one else!

   Sit down and figure out what your expectations are for you Maid/Matron of Honor, and if anyone could fulfill them.

Post # 12
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@SoCalBelle:  Oh, that is more clear 🙂  I would still probably go ahead with planning things that are more time sensitive (venue/church/etc) before selecting the wedding party.  I wouldn’t officially name anyone at all until after the holiday season. 

Post # 13
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

i was just re reading my posts and hope i didn’t come across too rude. 🙂

Thanks for clairifying your situation.  I agree with DANELADY, take your time with the bridal party. you can still discuss all your exciting details with all your friends, and see how that goes. Sometimes friends can dissapear from the picture, or suprise you and stand up and want to be involved. That is a great benefit of having a long engagement.

Because i was in a simialr situation, i would picture myself at the alter. who did I want at my side? who knew me the best? and who was I so happy to be beside (other than my Fiance of course)? That is how I knew all my girlfriends were great friends, and all terrific for different reasons, but not one was ‘the’ Maid/Matron of Honor.

 

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