Post # 1
Member
888 posts
Busy bee
Long rant sorry but i need other (big city BEES) opinions.
Let me start off by saying there are hundreds of places to get married where i’m from. Literally hundreds. we are not at a loss for places get married. As fate would have it my aunt is getting married in 2014, i’m getting married in 2015 and my cousin (my aunts son) is getting married in 2016. thats right 14,15,16
My aunt picked place A to get married. great.
My cousin decided since they had 3 years they wouldn’t look at venues yet. great.
My fiance and i are looking at places. There happened to be a bridal expo at place B that we wanted to attend because place B is a serious contender for us because of price, location, and the fact that it’s all inclusive. Photographer, DJ, limo flowers etc.. it’s all included. The gardens are beautiful and we’ve never met anyone who had their reception there.
Yesterday my mom told me that my aunt and my cousin and his fiance went to B and decided they are getting married there. My aunt changed her place from A to B. so now BOTH my aunt and my cousin are getting married there. i was also informed my cousins fiance changed their wedding color from pink to dark purple. MY wedding color? Dark purple. This was never a secret. Everyone knew our colors.
While my fiance and i are a little miffed because of the fact that both my aunt and cousin KNEW we were looking at B (and my aunt had a place and my couisn wasn’t looking for another year or two) but they decided to choose it anyway. We said “ok we didn’t technically go look at the place yet so we can’t claim it and there are a few other places we can look at instead.” So we let it go. We still have 2 other places we’re seriously considering.
My mother seems to have no idea why we dont want to have the reception at B anymore. I’m sorry but we really wanted our wedding to be “special” and yes, since it’s ours we get that it will be special but we wanted it to be unique, different, not like everyone elses. One other issue is that since we’re all in the same family our family will compare the weddings. nobody wants their wedding compared to anyone elses, especially if it’s at the same place. If we have all have our wedding at all inclusive B we will all have the same venue, the same food, the same cake, the same photographer, the same photos, the same dj and in the case of my cousin even the same damn color scheme!! Mom keeps pushing us to still pick B and it’s really bothering us.
Are we wrong? Should we still consider B? What would YOU do? would YOU still pick that place even though your aunt is geting married in 2014 you in 2015 and your cousin in 2016??? Would it bother you having the same venue as 2 other members of your family? KEEPING IN MIND THERE ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH PLACES TO GET MARRIED WHERE WE’RE FROM.
Post # 3
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@daniellemc: I’d pick the place I loved most. If after looking at all my options that was venue B, I’d go with venue B.
My sister and I got married at the same venue with most all the same vendors. The weddings could not have been any more different.
Post # 4
Member
1999 posts
Buzzing bee
@daniellemc: Well, copycats are always a bit annoying, aren’t they? But I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you. If you love the place and it makes sense for you to get married there (financially and otherwise), do it. Your wedding will be just as special and you’ll save yourselves the trouble of explaining to family members where your venue is, what the parking arrangements are etc. Hey, maybe you could try to get a special discount from the venue too since 3 family members are getting married there? 🙂
Post # 5
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee
@daniellemc: well, I’d be annoyed. I’d check other places and stick to the one I love the most.
Post # 6
Member
957 posts
Busy bee
I didn’t want to look at a venue because our friends were getting married there. It was more about it being special to ME, not everyone else. The idea of expiriencing a wedding (my wedding?) before my actual wedding, wasn’t something I wanted to do.
What if the food ended up being terrible at the first wedding? Or the DJ or Photographer were bad? Would I be terrified of my wedding and full of anxiety? Heck yes I would. On the other hand, if everything was perfect, would I feel pressure to “live up” to it? Yes, I would. Either way, I was going to be nervous, anxious, and stressed out before my wedding by choosing that venue, so we opted to look at other places.
Your wedding will be your wedding and no one else’s, so if that is your “perfect venue” then pick it, but we looked other places and found our perfect venue somewhere else.
Don’t cross it off the list until you look, but even though you had it in mind, it may not have been what you wanted even if your aunt and cousin weren’t getting married there.
Also, stop caring about who chose what first. Colors, flowers, first dance songs. If you want it to be exclusive, keep your mouth shut, but your cousin is getting married a year after you. They get to pick the things they like, and even if things are the same, no one will remember.
Post # 7
Member
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I would pick a different venue especially since you said there are hundreds where you live. I wouldnt care about colors. I never notice people’s colors. Well, maybe now because I just got finished with my own wedding.
Post # 8
Member
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
@daniellemc: Keep in mind that in some small towns there is only ONE place for everyone ot get married.
Pick the place that you love the best, stop sharing any details about your wedding, cast aside your hurt feelings about venue B as you were nowhere near booking it, and go about planning your wedding. As you said, it will be special no matter where it is held.
Post # 9
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: June 2014 - EDD 06/12/2016
@daniellemc: I would be annoyed,yes, but if that’s the place you want to get married, do it! I’m sure your decorating will look different than theirs!! Make it special to you, I don’t think you should change the venue you love just because family members are getting married there.
Post # 10
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
I would pick the place I like the best and not worry if anyone else is having their wedding there. Where I’m from, there are a couple of beautiful, standard venues in our circle that do an awesome job with weddings. I’ve been to a few weddings at my venue. It’s the reason I know they’ll pull it off perfectly, and it doesn’t bother me. THREE of my friends used (a different) local venue last year, the weddings were all different.
Post # 11
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
The logic of sticking with the one you love makes the most sense, but I have to admit I think I’d change it. And the colours, but that’s just me. I’m sorry she has stolen your ideas, that’s rubbish. Of all the places and all the colours to choose from! So annoying.
Post # 12
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
i wouldnt worry…if u love the venue dont pass it up. u can put your own personal touches to it and it will be different than the other two weddings…same color or not. im getting married in the same venue as my cousin two years later and im fine with it…its beautiful and affordable. i wouldnt worry too much about it if u love it
Post # 13
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
@daniellemc: I don’t think youre being petty at all! If I were you, I’d find somewhere else. You said yourself, there are hundreds of venues! It’s actually lucky you hadnt toured and gotten attached, because now you can just move on.
That being said, if its your dream venue and you cant help but imagine your day there, do it. Your wedding will be your own and it will be special for you!
Keep all of your details to yourself from now on!
Post # 14
Member
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
@daniellemc: I’d pick the place I truly loved most – but to be honest, I would love B less because I knew the others were getting married there. I totally understand why you want your own venue, especially if all the other service providers come as part of a package deal. So, I’m kind of in the middle – I understand why you would not want to pick B, but I would still pick B if I looked everywhere else and I stil loved it best.
We had to nix a venue because we discovered its where my uncle married his ex-wife all those years ago… I was young at the time so I had no idea that’s where it was… that would have been SO awkward for all my family, not to mention my uncle and his lovely new wife!
Post # 15
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
@daniellemc: Personally I would not get married at B then. My Fiance parents wanted us to choose the same venue his brother got married at and I said no way because of the same concerns. However, we also found a venue 100x better so of you search and search and cant find anything I wouldn’t settle for a WORSE venue over B.
Post # 16
Member
1916 posts
Buzzing bee
I would pick another venue. You haven’t even seen this one before so you don’t know if it’s the one. I just wouldn’t want to deal with all of the comparisons between my wedding, my aunt’s and my cousin’s.
