(Closed) maybe we're being petty but we feel like our wedding wont be special if…

posted 6 years ago in Venue
Post # 3
11744 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@daniellemc:  I’d pick the place I loved most. If after looking at all my options that was venue B, I’d go with venue B.  

My sister and I got married at the same venue with most all the same vendors. The weddings could not have been any more different.

Post # 4
1998 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@daniellemc: Well, copycats are always a bit annoying, aren’t they? But I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you. If you love the place and it makes sense for you to get married there (financially and otherwise), do it. Your wedding will be just as special and you’ll save yourselves the trouble of explaining to family members where your venue is, what the parking arrangements are etc. Hey, maybe you could try to get a special discount from the venue too since 3 family members are getting married there? 🙂 

Post # 5
1128 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@daniellemc:  well, I’d be annoyed. I’d check other places and stick to the one I love the most. 

Post # 6
956 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I didn’t want to look at a venue because our friends were getting married there. It was more about it being special to ME, not everyone else. The idea of expiriencing a wedding (my wedding?) before my actual wedding, wasn’t something I wanted to do.

What if the food ended up being terrible at the first wedding? Or the DJ or Photographer were bad? Would I be terrified of my wedding and full of anxiety? Heck yes I would. On the other hand, if everything was perfect, would I feel pressure to “live up” to it? Yes, I would. Either way, I was going to be nervous, anxious, and stressed out before my wedding by choosing that venue, so we opted to look at other places.

Your wedding will be your wedding and no one else’s, so if that is your “perfect venue” then pick it, but we looked other places and found our perfect venue somewhere else.

Don’t cross it off the list until you look, but even though you had it in mind, it may not have been what you wanted even if your aunt and cousin weren’t getting married there.


Also, stop caring about who chose what first. Colors, flowers, first dance songs. If you want it to be exclusive, keep your mouth shut, but your cousin is getting married a year after you. They get to pick the things they like, and even if things are the same, no one will remember.

Post # 7
8686 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would pick a different venue especially since you said there are hundreds where you live. I wouldnt care about colors. I never notice people’s colors. Well, maybe now because I just got finished with my own wedding.

Post # 8
47215 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@daniellemc:  Keep in mind that in some small towns there is only ONE place for everyone ot get married.

Pick the place that you love the best, stop sharing any details about your wedding, cast aside your hurt feelings about venue B as you were nowhere near booking it, and go about planning your wedding. As you said, it will be special no matter where it is held.

Post # 9
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - EDD 06/12/2016

@daniellemc:  I would be annoyed,yes, but if that’s the place you want to get married, do it! I’m sure your decorating will look different than theirs!! Make it special to you, I don’t think you should change the venue you love just because family members are getting married there.

Post # 10
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would pick the place I like the best and not worry if anyone else is having their wedding there. Where I’m from, there are a couple of beautiful, standard venues in our circle that do an awesome job with weddings. I’ve been to a few weddings at my venue. It’s the reason I know they’ll pull it off perfectly, and it doesn’t bother me. THREE of my friends used (a different) local venue last year, the weddings were all different. 

Post # 11
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

The logic of sticking with the one you love makes the most sense, but I have to admit I think I’d change it. And the colours, but that’s just me. I’m sorry she has stolen your ideas, that’s rubbish. Of all the places and all the colours to choose from! So annoying.

Post # 12
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

i wouldnt worry…if u love the venue dont pass it up. u can put your own personal touches to it and it will be different than the other two weddings…same color or not. im getting married in the same venue as my cousin two years later and im fine with it…its beautiful and affordable. i wouldnt worry too much about it if u love it

Post # 13
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@daniellemc:  I don’t think youre being petty at all! If I were you, I’d find somewhere else. You said yourself, there are hundreds of venues! It’s actually lucky you hadnt toured and gotten attached, because now you can just move on.

That being said, if its your dream venue and you cant help but imagine your day there, do it. Your wedding will be your own and it will be special for you!

Keep all of your details to yourself from now on!

Post # 14
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@daniellemc:  I’d pick the place I truly loved most – but to be honest, I would love B less because I knew the others were getting married there. I totally understand why you want your own venue, especially if all the other service providers come as part of a package deal. So, I’m kind of in the middle – I understand why you would not want to pick B, but I would still pick B if I looked everywhere else and I stil loved it best.

We had to nix a venue because we discovered its where my uncle married his ex-wife all those years ago… I was young at the time so I had no idea that’s where it was… that would have been SO awkward for all my family, not to mention my uncle and his lovely new wife!

Post # 15
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@daniellemc:  Personally I would not get married at B then. My Fiance parents wanted us to choose the same venue his brother got married at and I said no way because of the same concerns. However, we also found a venue 100x better so of you search and search and cant find anything I wouldn’t settle for a WORSE venue over B. 

Post # 16
1916 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would pick another venue.  You haven’t even seen this one before so you don’t know if it’s the one.  I just wouldn’t want to deal with all of the comparisons between my wedding, my aunt’s and my cousin’s.

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