(Closed) maybe we're being petty but we feel like our wedding wont be special if…

posted 6 years ago in Venue
Post # 32
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m a little miffed about the Minnesota comment… just because you don’t live here doesn’t mean every place here is a small town. There are major metro areas here with A LOT of venues too.

 

If there are so many venues, there must be somewhere else you can have a wedding that you’ll love just as much.

Post # 33
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I’d pick another venue.  Like you said, there are hundreds of possibilities, and you’ve never even seen this one!  Go find another one you love even more, it’s out there!

Post # 34
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I like the idea of everyone being married in the same place. It sounds like a nice family tradition. Stealing your colors, not so much. That’s a bummer.

Post # 35
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It definitely sounds like you have to decided to change your venue, adn I think that’s completely fair.  You have to love the place you get married in, and if you’ll be preoccupied during the day because of the other weddings that have happened/will happen, it won’t be enjoyable.  I’m sure all of the weddings will be very different, but I had two family members that got married at the same venue and I have to admit, it was a little strange.  Even though they were two totally different weddings, their pictures look the same.  So do what is going to make you and your Fiance happy….that’s what this day is for after all!

Post # 36
Member
6524 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@daniellemc:  Go see place B first. And if you really love B, have it there. Don’t be discouraged because people close to you picked the same place.

Don’t share details of your wedding though. Keep everything to yourself. People do steal ideas.

 

Post # 37
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

@leftyletters:  LOL, don’t you know that people who don’t live on the coasts aren’t really, you know, people, and are easily impressed with any crappy old thing?  ๐Ÿ˜‰  (Kidding of course–just a fellow non-coastie who understands why you were a little miffed!)

For OP–I would stick to your own colors and I agree with those who say to stick with venue B if that’s what you can really see as your own.  I don’t live in NYC or anything, but I don’t exactly live in an insigificant city, and I’ve gone to three weddings (of those in the same social circle) at the same venue this year and I think that people have actually noticed the unique details even more because of the fact that the three weddings have something in common–the venue provides a certain type of nearly subconscious background similarity that allows the unique differences among the couples and their decor, etc. to stand in sharp relief. 

Post # 38
Member
6890 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@leftyletters:  I agree,

OP unless you have been to the Minneapolis/St Paul area you may want to retract your statement about Minnesota.  It is not all small towns!  I live in  the Minneapolis area.

A venue is not going to make or break how speical your wedding is. So what if you have family getting married there, hate to break it to you but no one is going to remember other than you and your Fiance what you wedding even looked like when it is cousin’s turn to get married there.

Post # 41
Member
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Well the GOOD NEWS is you say you live in a large city… so you have CHOICES…

LOTS OF CHOICES

Those of us who have been married in small towns… we didn’t get that

My hometown… had like 5 choices… Church Basement – Community Hall – one Hotel Restaurant – Country Club – or your Parent’s Backyard.

Trust me the Hotel Restaurant was barely better than the Church Basement & Community Hall (which were just big blasé boxes)

The Country Club was very expensive…

And one’s own Backyard… well that was even more sketchier in most instances than the other choices

So as I see it, you are lucky to have OTHER CHOICES… and I am sure some of them are very nice.

And I would probably go with one of them, cause I do see very much the whole your point of view when it comes to… “my Wedding will be like everyone else’s” thing, cause ya that is what I grew up with… a Wedding didn’t have a lot of individuality to it

But then again, at that time (1980s) people were far more focussed on the whole coming together of 2 Families to make a NEW Family… and no one seemed all that jazzed about the stuff that Brides worry so much about today…

Colour – Theme – Decor & Decorations – Uplighting – Fancy Linen Table Cloths & Napkins – Chair Covers – Signature Drinks – Buffet Stations – Grand Entrances – B&G Ballroom Dancing – Games – Photo Booths – Popcorn Stands – Candy Counters – and Food Carts

A Wedding wasn’t in need of a side show… IT WAS THE MAIN EVENT

Made great by the fact that the Happy Couple were surrounded by Friends & Family and there were a few drinks, decent eats, a Cake to Cut, a Bouquet to Toss, a DJ and some dancing that went into the wee hours.

So I’d say… look elsewhere if you are truly this concerned about YOUR Wedding looking like a carbon copy of someone else’s…

OR stick with this place if it is truly incredible… but instead of focussing so much on the “random details”… maybe make it a Wedding that focuses MORE on the Guests, and the whole true meaning of Getting Married.

I would say that that might very well make YOUR Wedding the one people talk about for years to come !!

Just my 2 cents.

PS… I know Etiquette is seen to be old fashioned and boring… but in reality if you really read up on the subject, it will help you to put your GUESTS first… and by doing so, that is the thing that can out-rank / out-class any other Wedding as far as I am concerned.  And the funny thing… these little touches they don’t cost a lot, but they have BIG IMPACT. (ie calligraphy / handwriting the Invitation Envelopes)

You can always send me a PM if you’d like some tips

 

Post # 42
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would super annoyed! We didn’t even look at places that other guests had attended wedding at before because I don’t want people to compare and I want to feel special. Especially since everything is included I think it would be hard for all 3 weddings to feel different.

im sorry that your mother doesn’t understand, but she doesn’t have to. Just tell her you found another place that fits you and your vision better ๐Ÿ™‚ We also live somewhere where there are plenty of venue choices but I also know how pverwhelming it can be. Thankfully you still have plenty of time to find a place and haven’t signed a contract yet because I don’t even know what I would do in that situation. 

Oh and not to sound rude but it sounds like you are going to have to keep wedding details on the down low so it doesn’t give your cousin & aunt new ideas for their wedding :/

Post # 43
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Next time I wouldn’t make judgements on places when you’ve only been to 2 out of town weddings, I am actually from the east coast (baltimore/washington DC area) and I can say that everything here is pretty similar.

 

Im sure whatever venue you choose will have details that make it your own.

Post # 44
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@MarriedToMyWork:  Haha! And the funny part is, I’m actually from the coast! I moved here and it actually isn’t all that different… people still actually care about thiwer weddings and venuse and everything just like East Coasters do. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 45
Member
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

The cousin’s wedding doesn’t even matter–even if you did have it at the same place, it’d be fine because your wedding would be first. The issue is the aunt also taking that venue. I know the “right” thing to say is to go with whatever venue is your favorite, but honestly, I’d probably go with a different one  :/

Post # 46
Member
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@daniellemc:  also, we’re date twins ๐Ÿ™‚

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