(Closed) maybe we're being petty but we feel like our wedding wont be special if…

posted 6 years ago in Venue
Post # 47
48 posts
  • Wedding: December 2014

@daniellemc:  Well I completely know how you feel as my Future Sister-In-Law has been doing the same type of things.  You should not have to change your wedding venue but I do understand why you would want to.  My fiance’s uncle is like his idol and wants to do everything like him and his wife but I refuse because I want my day to be special and not a copy cat.  Depending on how far apart your wedding is from your aunt’s, you may be able to see how she decorated and see how she did things and remind yourself to stay away from those things.  Your cousin is going to look like the real copy cat because their wedding is after yours.

Post # 48
39 posts
  • Wedding: May 2015

@daniellemc: i would 100% go with a different venue. if i were in this situation, forget the comparisons that my family members would inevitably be making (you can’t help it, honestly, sometimes you can’t help but subconsciously compare weddings that are within the same season even if they’re in totally different venues) – i would honestly be more worried about the comparisons i’d be making within my own head. every time my aunt and my cousin decided something that they wanted at their wedding, i can imagine that i would feel compelled to add something else, and i’m a pretty easy-going person! this sounds like it could turn into something from bride wars. your aunt wants a sweets bar so you add a chocolate fountain then your cousin adds an ice cream sundae bar and so on and so forth until you’re spending way too much money and you’ve lost track of the wedding you wanted. this could get way out of hand (not unlike this post, haha). save yourself the headache and find another venue that you love and that will feel entirely unique to you. and try not to take their actions personally – imitation is the highest form of flattery, i guess?

Post # 49
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I say look around and if you still feel that “place B” is what you want, then do it! It will still be special.

The fact that they changed their colours would drive me crazy. Oh well! There’s not much you can do.

Good luck!

Post # 50
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@daniellemc:  Well given your responses to people on this thread especially about how in your culture it is more important to have an impressive wedding I don’t think anything anyone here says is going to change your mind.

Personally I feel sorry for you, that it is so ingrained in your psyche that your wedding has to be compared to everyone elses. Maybe it is time to not buy into that bullshit?


Post # 51
11520 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@daniellemc:  I get where you’re coming from.  There are hundreds of places here too but FH ruled out most of them right off (no hotels or banquet halls).  There’s one place we thought of but immedaitely ruled out because we went to a wedding there last summer.  There would be potentially 4 couples at that wedding that will be at ours (including the bride & groom from that wedding) but we still decided against it.  We wanted somewhere that we didn’t know anyone else who’d had a wedding there.

There’s something to be said for the unique factor.  It was also one of the reasons we’re NOT getting married in my hometown.  There are about 5 wedding venues.  I’ve been to weddings at most of them.  One of my BM’s actually went to 2 weddings at the same venue in one week.

Post # 52
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

If there are other places, I would go with something other than B.  By default, people are going to be comparing your wedding with the other family members getting married there.  Its just the way it is.  People can say that it won’t matter (and if you were in a town where there was only 1 place to go, then I would change my answer), but family can be opinionated and petty like that.  I know that if my sister and I got married at the same venue, my family would compare every detail.  

I can’t imagine that this is the only, best, favorite venue out there.  If you find something that you love just as much, I’d go with the other one.  Don’t worry about the colors though – no big deal.

Post # 53
43 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

Pick another place. My city has hundreds upon hundreds of venues to choose from as well, so if I were in your shoes, I would just look at other venues and choose a different one. Don’t get stuck on Venue B, you could be missing some other great venues out there.

Maybe hit up another bridal show in your city (not one the venue hosts, try one at a convention centre, or somewhere which vendors need to rent space to participate) and see what you find there.



Post # 54
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@daniellemc:  Look at all the possible venues and go with the one you love the most. You shouldn’t have to settle for another venue.

I would be completely annoyed too. I understand how you’re feeling. As soon as Fiance and I got engaged my brother suddenly decided he was going to get married and that his wedding would be before mine. I understand I cannot control what other people do and when or where they get married but seriously ?? He has been dating his gf for a very long time and hasn’t had marriage plans until now. Yes maybe this is petty and i need to be a grown up and suck it up but we would be inviting the EXACT SAME people. Not only that but a lot of family would be flying in and i know for a fact they would not be able to afford traveling twice within a couple of months so they would not be coming to my wedding if they came to his first. And my family has a bad habit of comparing everything we do so that would be an issue. We have always been treated differently as well (we’re hispanic and my family is old fashioned and have this weird thing of seeing man as superior) so i know all the attention would go towards his wedding. Anyways thank goodness he decided not to go through with his rushed wedding 😀

Sorry for the rant ! I just totally get you. If your wedding was the first one it’d be different, However, I say go for whatever venue you prefer.

Post # 55
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

@leftyletters:  I also am from the East Coast (and spent significant time on the West Coast) and, well, yes, you’re totally right.  LOL  🙂

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