Me and my boyfriend

posted 2 weeks ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
3759 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

You’re a teenager. It’s too early. What is the rush? You can still have a commitment to someone without being engaged. 

Post # 3
Member
530 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

marsh2001 :  I have been with my husband for over 15 years. We started dating in high school. We got engaged when I was 26 and married when I was 28. Yes, we talked about getting engaged when we were very young, but looking back now, I am so thankful we waited until we were older, wiser, more expereinced, and had a better understanding of our futures as individuals and a couple.

So my advice to you…wait. Sure you can get engaged but that will make you have the urge to want to get married sooner, I almost guarantee it. Do not jump into something legally binding until you have a clear picutre of who you are as a person and what you want your future to look like (education and career wise). While you may think you understand what you want, in 2, 5, 10 years it looks completely different. 

and like the Bee above says it best…what’s the rush??

Post # 4
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

marsh2001 : You are far too young to consider getting engaged. So much changes in your 20’s. I would chill out on the engagement wishes and start thinking about your future career and life goals. 

Post # 5
Member
1423 posts
Bumble bee

You don’t even know who you are yet. Come back in 5 years and we’ll talk

Enjoy the relationship for what it is 

Post # 6
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

marsh2001 :  you sound very young, bee. You even acknowledge that this is a mistake. Only having dated one year means you’re both still in the honeymoon phase.

My husband and I were high school sweethearts too and while we both knew within the first year that we were in it for the long haul and talked about marriage, we waited until we’d been together over 3 years (and closer to finishing our degrees) to get engaged. We didn’t marry until after we’d both graduated from college. Though we were both still very young (22), waiting those years was important for our relationship to develop and for us to mature some more.

You may feel old and confident now, but just wait until you’re 20, 22, 25 and you’ll look back at this whole relationship very differently. 

Post # 7
Member
4619 posts
Honey bee

I was proposed to at 19. I told him that there was no way I was getting married before I finished school. The relationship ended when I got out of school. He was not what I wanted, but I had to grow up before I knew what I wanted. I suggest you do the same.

Post # 8
Member
1494 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI

Enjoy your relationship, work on becoming who you want to be.  Save marriage for much later when your independent, have a career and know what you want from life before you choose a partner.  If he’s the one he still will be in 5+ years.  If you want something to symbolize how you feel about eachother how about a promise ring?

Post # 9
Member
6674 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

You will never be as confident about anything as you are right now. So… consider whether that is because of the inexperience of youth or because you really DO know everything right now. People change tremendously from 18 through their early to mid twenties. You are not the person you will become yet, and that can throw a lot of relationships for a loop.

[And I try not to be the grammar police because everyone makes mistakes. I make mistakes, too. But anyone who says, “Me and my boyfriend” sounds like they need to finish English 12 before getting married.]

Post # 10
Member
342 posts
Helper bee

marsh2001 :  You have identified in your post that you’re too young and that you know it would be a big mistake. What is there to talk about? Stick with that. Couples who get together in their early twenties do one of two things. They either grow together or grow apart. Getting married at such a young age is a gamble. Had my ex asked me to marry him when I was 22 I probably would have said yes. I didn’t know who I was going to become yet. You just change so much in your early twenties. It’s hard to imagine being a different person than you are right now but you will be. I promise. And that person might not want to be married to the man you’re with right now. You owe it to yourself to grow into the person you’re meant to become and be with the one you’re meant to be with. It might be him but you kinda have to wait to find out.

Post # 11
Member
394 posts
Helper bee

marsh2001 :  are you guys saving yourselves for marriage? Are you from a super conservative family or community where this is normal? I’d wait until 20 at least…but why so early? And if you guys are not in a super mature loving relationship, don’t do it!!!

Post # 12
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

echomomm :  oh my gosh, a fellow grammar bee! I couldn’t stop re-reading that 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

Post # 13
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

marsh2001 :  you literally said it was a mistake so I think that’s your answer 

Post # 15
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

marsh2001 :  “I know it’s a mistake but I don’t listen what people think that’s it’s early or don’t do it yet and wait”…” So I guess it is to early or is it just the thing that whatever makes me happy”?….Umm way are you asking if you don’t listen to what think??? Clearly you don’t care what anyone thinks. So are you hoping we are going to tell you “No you are not to young, go right ahead and get married”. I am just not sure why you are asking if you don’t care what our opionion’s are??? 

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