Post # 1
I’m 19 she’s 17. We were dating a year and 10 months. Our problems started in fall 2018. She still had 2 years left of high school left and I had already graduated. I didn’t start college in the fall Bcz I wanted to work for a year. I was very upset knowing I wasn’t in high school anymore and my gf did. I was insecure. I wouldn’t hangout with her or my high school friends because we’d always be busy.
Fast forward to January is when it basically all started. We started arguing. I’d start arguments on me being so insecure if she’d cheat on me or if she actually wanted our relationship to last since I was graduated and she had all high school left to go. We constantly had arguments that were my fault. I’d accuse her and call her a liar when she’d claim honesty. She’d tell me to love me and she’d wanna work it all out and eventually we’d be happy again.
6 months later. We’d have arguments and she’d be so fed up with the dumb arguments. She’d agree with a break up since I’d ALWAYS ask if that’s what we should do. Shed agree with it. But as the same we talked it out. We love each other.
Now another reason of our break up… my gf would constantly lag on phone. Which means she wouldn’t answer my texts quick enough. The reason why is because she claimed she’d be busy, she’d leave her phone charging in her room, she wouldn’t realize I texted back and she wouldn’t answer. I talked to her about it and I understood but was still mad at the same time. I remember I told her about my insecurities in the passed. I confessed them to her. It’s very personal. She was very sad about it and told me she loved me. The next day she was busy and wouldn’t reply and this immediately made me upset that she didn’t care about me. I went to her house and tried to talk to her and basically have an argument. But she was distracted watching a movie and said she’d talk to me when the movie was over. Eventually I asked her about 2 more times go to talk and she did. We went to her room. And talked it out.
The next couple days I asked why she didn’t listen to me when I asked her to talk when I first asked her and she said that she didn’t wanna have to deal with an argument since I always argue for dumb reasons and she didn’t wanna deal with it.
We’re now broken up and it feels like shit. Did I do wrong? I just felt she didn’t care. I mean sometimes she’d yell at me and be so mad when I wouldn’t believe her even the day after I told her my personal stuff. We both wanna be together but we always argue. at points I’d get so mad and not believe her she wouldn’t answer the phone when I’d call her Bcz she didn’t wanna deal with me arguing. So that’s the cause for a break up. Am I wrong or was she? What should we do?
Post # 2
Not to be rude, but you are a 19 year old male on a wedding website, I would first try talking to your parents, or your friends! Also, at the ages of 19 and 17 breakups can happen for any reason, while they are still extremely hard, I reccomend looking forward to the future and not trying to analyze this too much! I would chalk this up to being a bit young and insecure, and maybe work on yourself for a bit before getting into another relationship. Also, don’t call or text her or try to get her back, please just leave her alone 🙂
Post # 3
It sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do. This is a very young relationship. Spend some time learning to love yourself before getting into another relationship.
It sounds like this relationship has run its course and you should leave it alone now.
Post # 4
Your post history is 52, however, you don’t have any comments or prior thread history
Why did you delete a prior thread? Was it about this same relationship
Post # 5
shawn8223 : I want to break up with you just reading this!
Post # 6
Leave this kid alone and let her enjoy her life.
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2019 - City, State
You’re young, so I’ll go a little easy on you.
She was 100% right. Who wants to deal with their boyfriend being so obsessive and controlling that he’s constantly starting fights and accusing you of things you did not do, simply because he’s insecure because he’s not in high school anymore? That’s exhausting, and I’m surprised she put up with it as long as she did.
You can’t expect other people to solve your insecurities. It’s no one’s responsibility but your own to work on your issues, and if your mind automatically jumps to “she’s cheating on me” or “she doesn’t care about me” when she doesn’t reply to your texts ASAP, you’ve got some stuff to work on my friend. Not everyone is glued to their phone. That doesn’t mean they are avoiding you or up to something they shouldn’t be.
My advice is to let her go. Focus on yourself and working on your issues, alone. No relationship is going to work if you’re this insecure about where your partner is and why they don’t answer your texts RIGHT NOW.
Post # 9
- Wedding: February 2018 - UK
From what you’ve written here, I’m not surprised you broke up, I’d have broken up with you too. You behaved in an insecure, pushy, clingy way. You’re young and to some extent I think security and confidence develops with age.
There’s no relationship where there’s no trust. Nothing in your post sounded like she’d given you any reason to think she’d be unfaithful. And as for the text messages- I frequently find messages my husband sent me hours ago, and vice versa. Sometimes I’m busy, sometimes my phone is in my handbag and I don’t hear it beep. And sometimes I’m just not thinking about my husband! It doesn’t mean I don’t love him, he’s just not the only thing on my mind.
I think this relationship is going to be a learning curve, you need to learn to give your partners a little more freedom and trust.
Post # 10
The main things I was disturbed about what how when I went to talk to her in person about everything it seemed like she didn’t care. She wanted to finishing watching a movie. So it made me like she were to put that first instead of me. chelbell23 :
Post # 11
shawn8223 : Of course she didn’t care! You complain about the same things over and over again! She is bored of having to baby you and make you feel better about every little thing.
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2019 - City, State
shawn8223 : Because she was already exhausted and tired of you starting arguments for no reason. I wouldn’t really want to listen to what in that scenario, I expect to be more of someone yelling at me about something I’m supposedly doing that I am not. So maybe she did start to care about you less – but can you blame her?? It’s really hard to be supportive and caring of someone who just picks fights and flings wild accusations at you for absolutely no reason. Everyone gets to a point where they just stop giving a crap, and once that happens there’s not much you can do. Your accusations and insecurity pushed the relationship off the cliff, you can’t take that back.
You’re trying to pause a multiplayer game because you’re losing. That’s not how that works man. Take the L and work on making yourself better for it.
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
shawn8223 : I don’t blame her for wanting to watch a movie instead of having yet another fight with you about why she didn’t reply to your text immediately! You don’t own her and you don’t get to tell her that she’s not allowed to be “too busy” to reply to you. She has a life outside of you and maybe it doesn’t feel like it at 17 & 19 but your whole world should not revolve around your boyfriend/girlfriend.
If I had a guy who was so insecure, he constantly accused me of lying & cheating and lost his mind when I didn’t reply immediately, I’d dump you so fast you wouldn’t even know what happened. She deserves better than that. You acted like a possessive, insecure jerk. She was right to break up with you and put up with your garbage treatment for much longer than she should have.
Figure your shit out, learn how to treat a lady, find some self-confidence and this whole dating thing will get a lot better!
Post # 14
I really should have stopped reading after seeing you were 19 and she was 17. I’m not sure where exactly you are and what your laws are, but that still doesn’t sit right with me.
Leave her alone. Work on yourself. You accused her of cheating and not loving you out of the blue? If your girlfriend had posted here asking us what to do, all of us would have told her to leave you. You clearly have a hell of a lot of growing up to do.
Post # 15
This day wasn’t about me being upset about her not replying in time. It was something much more personal I was trying to ask for advice. But when I asked her why she didn’t wanna talk she said she thought it was about an argument I was trying to start.. Charliejeorge :