(Closed) Mean bestfriend… she's so rude!

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
3383 posts
Sugar bee

Sorry, Bee. Sally has laid it all out. She will never be friends with you – don’t take it personally. She either really does not like girls (WTF) or is so aligned with the ex that she can’t deal with you. Either way, Dave is a dude and not petty like his wife, so you will always be welcome by him. You aren’t going to be able to change who Sally is as a person. Your options are to not hang out with them ever, or just be polite when you are around her. It doesn’t have to be awkward unless you make it awkward in your head.

Post # 4
Member
3383 posts
Sugar bee

bnm97:  Sweet Bob. Guys don’t get it when girls are mean. If I were you, I’d just talk to him so that he knows that you are trying but Sally has straight up said you won’t be friends. If it escalates, Bob should be on your side. But don’t let it interfere with getting engaged, which is awesome!

Post # 5
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

So what do you do when you go catch up with them? Do Bob and Dave go off and leave the 2 of you to deal with each other? Or do you have meals and do activities together? If he wants you to be “couple friends” then the 4 of you should be hanging out together. Be friends with Dave, and be civil to Sally. If you get left with her, take a book or something to do, and explain to the men you will never be friends, and don’t want to make small talk for the sake of making small talk. Let Sally do her own thing, as it sounds like you go around to theirs more than they go to yours.

Post # 6
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

You can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t want to be friends with you. Tell Bob that you had a conversation with Sally and Sally made it clear she’s not interested. Like PP have said, don’t let that interfere with your potential engagement! If Sally has a problem, then she has a problem, not you. If she behaves rudely towards you, then respond just like you would to anyone else that’s rude to you. 

Post # 7
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

If I were in your position, I would attempt to form a closer bond with Dave. Then there will be an ‘us three, plus Sally’ situation, and she will have to decide to either; 

A. Become an active member of the group and recognise your position within the group, forcing her to treat you better.

B. Sit on the sidelines like a sourpuss.

C. Remove herself from the group.

Post # 8
Member
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

She isn’t your bestfriend, first off. Second, why try to force someone to like you? She already said no thanks.

Tell your SO you do not feel comfortable socializing with them. This all sounds like petty high school drama. Sadly, no matter how old we get we never really leave the petty high school drama

Post # 11
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Under those circumstances, I would refuse to hang out with the two of them together. Let your SO hang out with his best friend without you. Your time is precious, why would you want to spend it catering to a woman who can’t even pretend to tolerate you? 

Post # 12
Member
3683 posts
Sugar bee

Time to tell Bob to get the eff over his fantasy of the four of you being butt buddies, and for you to ignore Sue and have a good time hanging out with Bob and Dave, if that’s what you want to do. I can’t stand girls who say crap like “I don’t like other girls”.

Post # 13
Member
606 posts
Busy bee

bnm97:  I would pour my energy into my friendship with her husband. 🙂 it will either make her or break her. 

You either want her to admit it to your fiance so you can stop hanging out or her husband’s well being is the way to her heart and it will make her see you in a different light but don’t try too hard. Be indifferent to her. Next time bring him a video game or….bag of chips or something that you know he likes and say “on our way over I saw this and thought you’d like it!” or be really interested in his stories, ask him about his works etc. 

Put your energy into that relationship. She will either come around or in jealous rage do something to make your SO stop the visits with both of them. 

Post # 14
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Did you let your SO know what she said to you?

Post # 15
Member
4260 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

Bob needs to talk with her and deal with this.  It doesn’t matter if she wants to be friends or not  She is being immature and rude, and that is just not called for, nor is it really acceptable to adults to act that way.  Does she behave that way at work with women, because she hates all women??  I doubt it, or she would get fired.  He needs to step up and confront his friend for her sh*tty behaviour, and she needs to grow up and act like a functioning adult that is polite to other humans, simply because it is the right thing to do.  No one is saying to be friends, but going around just being a jerk is ridiculous behaviour for an adult.

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