(Closed) mean co-workers.. how to deal!

posted 6 years ago in Career
Post # 3
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

What else can you do? SO sorry you have to deal with it though. I think ignoring her rude behavior is your best option for now.

At my last job, I had just the snottiest girl as my coworker. She spread rumors about everyone, wouldn’t do her work as she was supposed to, wouldn’t show up for many of her shifts. I had to deal with it until she quit, and it was a long wait. lol

Post # 4
8040 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@futurepilotswife_:  Wow, what a cow. I would document all this in an email for your boss, and send it when your boss returns.

This not acceptable. What is her problem?

This needs to stop. The first step is to address it with your boss, the next step can be to get HR involved. She has no right to make your life miserable.

This is what we call workplace bullying.

Post # 7
8040 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@futurepilotswife_:  That’s good that your boss cares – it’ll really help. Addressing it face to face is a good way to do it, but I would still bring a written account of each thing she’s done while your boss has been away so you don’t have to remember each little thing. It also helps to have it in writing for HR if need be.

Just try to ignore this woman and hopefully things will be better for you soon!

Post # 9
14731 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

What do you say to her when she is saying these things.  I’d just be a bitch or firmly tell her what you’ve said here about not using the printer, or the emails coming in late.   She probably continues to do this cause she thinks you’re taking it and can get away with it.  She just needs to be put in her place.

Post # 11
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I once worked with a fool who felt she could give me orders.  Ignoring the idiot is not going to make it go away.  You need to stand up for yourself and put her in her place.  She obviously thinks she can run her mouth and tell people what to do…and you need to put a stop to that shit.


Just stand your ground and say firmly “You worry about you.  I’ll worry about me.”



Post # 13
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@futurepilotswife_:  While I definitely agree with the PPs in that you need to keep a written documentation of what she is doing and discuss with your boss and HR (HR only if boss is not responsive), in the meantime, I have found that killing them with kindness (pardon the cliche) works on nasty/manipulative coworkers. They are co-workers so you can’t exactly defend yourself the way you would with “friends” or strangers on the street. Nasty and vile coworkers want to see you miserable because of them. They want to see you angry and possibly fail at your job. Hence, you need to show them the opposite. Smile sweetly whenever they bitch at you (It’s hard but it works!), make friends with everyone but the coworker, bring in baked goods so everyone talks about how good your brownies or cookies or pie was – basically become a Miss Mary Sunshine. Your coworker will HATE IT. Plus it will give you a good case should HR need to get involved. I’ve been out in the professional world since 2005 (with internships at offices before then), hence I’ve had my share of nasty and manipulative coworkers. Kindness always works even though it’s hard at times! Just remember that they want to see you upset. They want to see you struggle. They want YOU to look like the crazy one (I’ve been “gaslighted” by an extremely manipulative coworker once, and it sucks!). Hence being positive and cheerful will do just the opposite of what they want. Innocent

Post # 14
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

It’s most likely an age thing; I had to deal with it once at my firm.  Another secretary thought it was okay to yell at me randomly, take off from her desk without letting me know and be gone for 30 minutes at a time (and someone has to be there at all times to watch phones) during my LUNCH! and ask why I needed to use any of my vacation day sand where I was going so she could approve (we work in groups, so we needed other secretaries to sign off on our vacation just to make sure that they didn’t also take the time off-they’ve since changed this thankfully). 

 It’s probably best to ignore her for now and to discuss this with your boss.  But honestly, I would tell her that I am neither her daughter nor her subordinate, I am her coworker and as such I expect the common courtesy and professionalism from her to be treated as such.  That’s what I ended up doing, I also spoke to our supervisors about her (when it got to the point that she yelled at me in front of my attorneys, who then called my supervisor) and after that she stopped.

Good luck though!  People like this are definitely NOT fun to deal with.  I hope this situation gets better for you.

Post # 16
5954 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

…if it were me, I would go out for Mexican at lunch, and get the biggest, green chili covered bean burrito on the menu, go back to work and ambush fart in her cube every chance I got.

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