(Closed) Mean, horrible, rude Sister in Law

posted 4 years ago in Family
  • poll: What should I do?
    Forgive and forget : (14 votes)
    27 %
    Forgive but still avoid and keep space (my preferance) : (26 votes)
    51 %
    Continue with the plan of being around but keeping space, no drama and ignoring : (11 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    2076 posts
    Buzzing bee

    You don’t need to like, be friends with or especially “sisters” with your SIL.  Be cordial when she is around but if you don’t want a relationship with her then just move on.  If she needs payment for a parking ticket that she paid in place of your husband then tell her that she will need to discuss it with him.

    This is your H’s sister, so it is up to him to deal with her drama.  So if I were you I would steer clear as much as possible and be supportive of whatever your H decides to do.

    Post # 3
    Member
    2969 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    MollyWS:  Honestly, I would just forgive her and then keep your distance. You can stop rehashing the past every time you speak or see eachother, but as far as I’m concerned there wouldn’t be a relationship going forward above being civil when it’s necessary.

    Post # 4
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I think you need to forgive her in order for you to be happy. When you hold on to anger towards someone you’re only hurting yourself. I think that you should not stress about being best friends with this woman, just be cordial and try to be the bigger person if she makes any rude comments. That is your husband’s sister so no matter what she’s always going to be a permanent fixture in your life.

    Post # 5
    Member
    399 posts
    Helper bee

    I wouldn’t forgive, but I’d move on.

    And I’d tell her to handle the parking thing with her brother, it’s not your problem because she took it upon herself to pay it for him.

    Lastly, I’d watch out. She sounds like she’s trying manipulate you be creating insecurity. Basically, she wants to get away with whatever and have you suck it up to deal so that her brother can have peace.  That isn’t your responsibility. My plan of action would to be polite, but not respond to any texts/emails. I’d be friendly and cordial in person, but I wouldn’t let it extend beyond that. I don’t think either of my FSILs even have my cell number. Some may think that’s sad, but I married him and I have enough sisters of my own. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    2969 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    MollyWS:  The only person you need to worry about going forward is you, your husband and your relationship with eachother. He can choose whether or not he wishes to have a relationship with her, but it is not necessary for you to have one with her- no matter what anyone else says. You can be civil with her when you must be around eachother, but I would never ever have a relationship with someone like that again unless a lot of time has gone by and they have really proven themselves to me. I can forgive things that happened in the past just for my own sanity, but I won’t make that same mistake twice and invite them back into my life to create drama.

    Post # 11
    Member
    288 posts
    Helper bee

    Honestly, I have one word for this situation: Block. Let him handle his sister and her issues. Goodluck! 

    Post # 12
    Member
    288 posts
    Helper bee

    Also, I agree with violet. 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    4054 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Sometimes forgiving someone isn’t something you do for them, but for yourself. Keeping this anger isn’t good for you. You are leting it taint how you view your wedding. I’m not excusing what she did, or even trying to remotely imply it was ok. But what is there to gain on your end from staying angry?

    I’m not saying you have to be friends, or reach out to her, or even go for the coffee. But holding on to anger just keeps you in a dark negative place.

    Post # 15
    Member
    486 posts
    Helper bee

    So sorry she created that drama on your special wedding day :\ No one deserves that. I agree with violet21293, move on without having to officially “forgive”. You can do the forgiving anytime in the future when you actually feel it’s sincere, not now when you just feel pressured to choice between forgiving her or not. I don’t think that not forgiving someone means you feel anger towards them every time you see them. Just be civil around her, don’t bring up the past anymore, and don’t pressure yourself to act like her friend, jut be neutral about it. 

     

    My SO only has one brother, and we get along just fine so I’m happy for that. But his brother’s SO is a different story. I don’t “hate” her, but she’s not someone I feel comfortable being friendly to and I really dislike a lot of things she has done although not directly towards me. I never let it show though (she lives with my SO’s parents), so when I visit I say hi and smile. I don’t try to start conversations or joke around with her, but if she asks me something or makes a comment, I make a polite reply or even just a smile.

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