(Closed) Mean in law in bridal party?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@SuzieJones: I don’t think you have to put her in the wedding party given her pattern of behavior, but I would also suggest trying to keep the bridal party small – you can use that as an excuse for not asking her to keep the peace, and maybe give her something to do on wedding day (read, usher, etc). Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
46334 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No way I would invite her to be part of the wedding party.

If she were FI’s sister I might consider it, but I want people who loved and cared about me in my wedding party.

If your wedding really is January 2015, I wouldn’t be asking anyone for about 3 years, so for now, your excuse  can be that you are not prepared to ask anyone yet.

 

 

Post # 5
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Has your Fiance or his family given any reason why this is so important to them? It seems a bit odd, considering she is (assumedly) the wife of FIs brother.

I guess it just depends how you want to handle things – it is easier to hold your ground and possibly create drama, or avoid hurting people’s feelings and putting her in your Bridal Party.

Definitely a toughie… big hugs and good luck!

Post # 6
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Only put people who YOU want in your bridal party.  Your FH’s family will get over it eventually.  I got a discreet request to put FBIL’s Girlfriend in the wedding party but I played the “keeping the wedding party small” card.  This is true but I wouldn’t have put her in regardless – I hardly know her and she doesn’t even seem to like me!

Post # 7
Member
14418 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Put his sister in law (so his brothers wife) in the wedding party??  That’s a stretch! Maaaybe if it was his own sister, and she was nice to you, I’d consider having her in the wedding party.  But thats one degree too much for me for someone that isnt even truely close to me.  Hold your ground.. no way.

Post # 8
Member
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wait until 7-9 months before your wedding to choose. Hopefully by then things will have calmed down and you can ask her to be a usher or something not as involved.

Post # 9
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Do they have kids?  If so I would consider letting the child be in the wedding but NOT HER!!

Post # 10
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@SuzieJones: Dont do it… The people that should be standing by you are the ones who support you… Not the ones people want to see in a pretty dress.

 

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