Post # 16
beansandcheese: Do you have a lock for your suitcase? A nannycam and play the video on tv later? lol Actually the ultrasound is pretty funny. Can you get one with triplets??
Seriously, I’d stay in a hotel. Your husband needs to side with you on this, and tell his mother why you are both choosing the hotel over her home.
Post # 17
babygrandmabee: Darling Husband and his brother have seperately called her on it in the past and she denies denies denies. Just feels like they have decided to brush it off. I hate the idea of stirring up the resentful/hard feelings my husband has had about his mom that he has made an active decision to let go of. He used to be so angry with her about the stuff she did like this but has moved passed it. Now he just chalks it up to her being crazy and just lets it go.
I have tried keeping my things private in the past. We kept all our luggage in the car one year but she still managed to go through my purse when I was out of the room. I just can’t police all my things all the time.
Honestly if I don’t do this I will just leave it alone. She can go through my meds/lube/ etc. I know it’s invasive but it’s his mom, I don’t want to make the decision for him to create the distance in that relationship.
Post # 18
In my family we would TOTALLY do the ultrasound picture, but we are big jokers. Have they played practical jokes on each other that you’ve seen? My family would seriously get the world’s biggest kick out of this, but we’re definitely into that kind of thing. Don’t even get me started on my grandma giving me her black hair dye in a lipstick tube so my lips were purple for like two weeks!
Post # 19
It sounds like a recipe for hilarity! If you have to stay there, you might as well have some fun with it. Why doesn’t the snooping bother your husband? Is Mother-In-Law always so unfiltered?
Post # 20
beansandcheese: Ugh, I would loooove to see her reaction to the ultrasound pic. I think you should get a hidden camera too LOL
Post # 21
howsweetitis: Both of our families are HUGE pranksters. It’s part of what brought us together. 2 months into Darling Husband and I dating I had an artist sharpie his name on my butt and had him convinced I got it tattooed. His dad plays more the fun dad level jokes like an evelope labeled “rattle snake eggs” and when you go to open it it makes a rattle snake sound like they have hatched.
Post # 22
I’d say your only option is locks for your luggage then, and keep very little in your purse. I would not stand for this kind of disrespect. Since this trip is already planned, go thru with it. Afterward, have a long talk with your husband about future visits. If you guys start staying in a hotel, it might help her realize she had issues that she needs help addressing. Of course, she has to be the one to make those decisions, no one can do it for her. Continuing to stay with her and not addressing anything is only enabling her problems. Setting clear boundaries is one the only options it sounds liek you have left. Again, this might help her see her behavior for what it is. It might not, but at least you will the privacy you deserve as an adult.
Post # 23
craigslistgirl: It used to really bug him. After time and therapy he has accepted that if he wants a close relationship with them he needs to accept her warts and all. She is usually pretty unfiltered. The frequency/degree to her comments depends on how much she has had to drink.
Post # 24
Do the ultrasound!!! Itll be funny for you and hubby too and you’ve got your back up plan (friends ultrasound) if it back fires!
Post # 25
A few Bees have recommended talking to her, leaving notes etc. While that is the mature response and what I would normally suggest, I can’t see the point here.
I can’t see how talking to her would help if she refuses to admit that she does it. Seems like she already knows that you don’t like it, but she just doesn’t care. If she’s the type not to be hung up about kinky sex, likes a few drinks etc, then maybe she just assumes that people are relaxed about boundaries and privacy isn’t a big deal? (I’m not saying people who like kinky sex = people who don’t respect privacy, but seems like she has a few issues with setting boundaries and being impulsive, especially when she’s had a few drinks.)
I’d be half tempted to snoop through HER stuff and put it in your suitcase for her to find – see how she likes it. But that’s very immature and would probably just make things worse.
At least with the ultrasound thing, it might trap her into admitting that she does snoop. At least then you’ve got a basis for having the discussion. And it would be less fraught in a family that already has a history of pranks.
Post # 26
Sorry, but I think this is hilarious.
If my Mother-In-Law was a snooper, I would do it. And die to whole time within myself, every minute that goes by and she doesn’t bring it up. Also just the thought of her face and the “new information she has, that you don’t know she knows, but actually you know and she doesn’t” I think its funny as hell.
But before you do that, how is your relationship with her? Is it rocky, or you guys get along good?
Post # 27
Please do it and then update!
Post # 28
Here’s the thing, you’ve already been mature and tried talking to her about it and she is lying and denying. I say do the ultrasound. and then just ignore all the baby comments she makes like you’re clueless.
Post # 29
Agree, if you’ve already tried talking to her, and both families are jokesters–why not! And I’d be having big glasses of wine as well to really wig her out but that’s just me 😉 (‘oh honey maybe you shouldn’t have that wine?’ ‘why on earth wouldn’t I?’ ‘well, it would be bad for…..things….’ oh man, that would be brilliant to see)
Post # 30
Hide a fake receipt for a really expensive present for her in your luggage, and then when she’s disappointed she has nobody to blame but herself. Or fake work visa paperwork for somewhere far away so she freaks out and thinks you’re moving.
Your idea is the best though, and I don’t think it’ll cause any problems.