- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Backstory: my dad has 3 cousins, G, B, and A, who are siblings. All three are married with kids, however, the only ones who I’m really close to are G and his wife J. So I invited only them (and when I asked G for his address I specifically told him that the invite wast JUST G and J, not their kids, because I’ve only met their kids once about 7 years ago). He was ok with that, I sent them a save-the-date, and I THOUGHT all was well.
I have not seen A in years. I was honestly probably in elementary school last time I saw her. I don’t even know what she or her husband look like, and I’m sure they wouldn’t recognize me if they bumped into me on the street either. They didn’t come to either of my grandparents’ funerals (their only aunt and uncle) and I just wouldn’t have felt comfortble with them being there. I barely even consider them “family” because of how little we know each other.
Well, his morning I wake up to this email from cousin G:
Kant and Fiance,
I asked my sister A if she was planning on attending your wedding. She said she didn’t know anything about it and may not have been invited. I sent her the below message. She may contact you. My sister is very funny about NOT being able to get off work or leave the house due to all her animals that need care. I’m sure she can find SOMEONE to care for the horses and such for a day or two and make that LONG 2 to 3 hour drive to Pittsburgh. If there is room for her, I’d wait to see if she contacts you before you contact her.
And then this is the message he forwarded me that he sent A:
Begin Forwarded Message:
She probably does not have your address? The wedding is being planned for June 30th, 2012. They have a wedding website: [URL redacted]. The password is: [redacted]. They are living together at: [our street address redacted]. The ONLY reason you may not have been given an invite is due to the # of people they can afford?? I asked her how her dad felt about all this and she said he really didn’t have an opinion. The two of them have been an item for several years now according to her Facebook page. I really hope you and your husband can make it if there is room. If you seriously want to go and show up I’m sure they will love to have you.
Uhh….WHAT??!!?! There are so many things wrong with this, besides the obvious fact that he took it upon himself to invite her WITHOUT asking me first. Why would he give out our wedding website AND password when CLEARLY it was supposed to be PRIVATE (why else would we have put a password on it?!). And why would he tell them our street address, creep on my Facebook page to figure out how long we’ve been together (we don’t have our anniversary listed or anything so the only way he would have been able to tell would be to go back through my pictures or wall to find when Fiance started posting…and NO I don’t have Timeline yet, so it wouldn’t have been easy for him to figure out)?? And WHY ON EARTH would he say “If you seriously want to go and show up I’m sure they will love to have you” — uhh, NO we would not! She better freaking not “show up” at our wedding because there won’t be any seats, food, or cake for her or her husband, and we don’t want veritable strangers there on such a personal and intimate day.
Since, according to G, I’m not supposed to contact A unless she contacts me, I’m going to email G back straight away and tell him, nicely, that A and her husband weren’t invited because of guest list constraints and wishing to keep a more intimate feel, and I’ll head him off and tell him that his brother B and his wife weren’t invited either. And that NO, we cannot “make room” for them, we are full to bursting as it is and we didn’t get to invite everyone we wanted to. And that NO, they may not just “show up” at the wedding because there wouldn’t be room for them, or food, or anything. And to please check with me next time first before he gives someone wedding details.
Just…UGH who in the world could possibly have such LITTLE tact?! /Rant.