(Closed) Medical Alert insert with invitations…HELP?

posted 10 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Definitely go with a little card and, if you’re doing a website, then put the note there as well.  For wording, it’s going to be tricky. How about something along the lines of:

 

Special Request for our Guests

Many perfumes, colognes and other scented products can trigger seizures in a close family member.  To ensure all our guests can enjoy the day, we respectfully ask that everyone please leave any personal scents at home.  Thank you!

 

"Close family member" can probably be replaced with other language – an honored guest?

Post # 4
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

If you’re doing Out of Town bags, it would also be worth including the same note in those, or slipping notes under the guests’ hotel room doors. That should help the "force of habit" thing the weekend of the wedding.

Post # 5
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

Instead of "seizure" you could just call it a "very dangerous reaction". 

Post # 6
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

Are you sending anything to the guests who rsvp "yes" – a packet about the weekend, hotel information, invitation to other weekend events?

if you are, I would include the no scent request on a small card in that information instead of the wedding invitation to minimize the number of people who see the request (will be less embaressing for your FMIL).

I would use the wording missm suggested. It’s very polite and I’m sure your guests will understand!

If you aren’t sending out anything after the invites, then definitely include it in your invitation suite. and btw, you are an awesome understanding FDIL! 

Post # 7
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Alcohol (the rubbing kind, not the drinking kind ) does a great job of neutralizing a heavy-handed perfume/cologne application. If you’re really worried that people will forget and spritz out-of-habit, you could include alcohol wipes (available at pretty much any drug store) in the bathroom amenities basket with a note. Hand sanitizer does the same thing.

Post # 9
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I would use missm’s wording with some slight modifications by changing "family member" to "honored guest." People will really have no idea who it is, which will probably deter any speculation.

I would leave in "seizures." I know lots of people who say they are allergic to perfume or cigarette smoke, but none has ever had a reaction like your FMIL’s, nary any reaction at all beyond some coughing. This has led me to greet the "allergic to perfume" line with some skepticism. So if I were a guest, I would take your request more seriously if I knew it would result in a specific reaction like a seizure than in an unspecified reaction that really might just be a cover story for a picky bride who hates the smell of cologne. 

Maybe during the indoor event put a few tactful friends/family members who know about your FMIL’s condition already on scent patrol. Have them gently ask any offending guests to remove their  perfume with the alcohol wipes in the bathroom. A sign in the bathroom would also be effective.

Post # 10
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would leave in "seizures," too, or change it to "life threatening allergic reactions." I know plenty of people who complain about scents or headaches from them, but that doesn’t always deter me from wearing perfume (usually because I forget). Knowing it would cause a life threatening reaction would probably get my attention a little more.

Post # 11
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I think missm’s note with MissBanana’s "very serious reaction" is great.  That way it will be slight less obvious it’s the MOG if she’s self-conscious.

You might also want to alert your bridal party and coordinator (if you have one).  That way if they encounter a guest with strong perfume/cologne they could possibly ask them to avoid the MOG.  I don’t think anyone would be insulted knowing that they could induce a seizure!

Post # 12
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

If you’re stressing over wording, you may want to ask Future Mother-In-Law how much she cares about people knowing it’s her. After all, it was her idea for you to include the note to begin with, so she may not care that much if people are aware of her condition. She can probably give you more guidance on how ‘neutral’ the wording should be.

Post # 13
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I just walked by a co-worker with some strong perfume on and it made me wonder, how does she normally deal with scents on a day-to-day basis? Obviously she can’t avoid these smells everywhere. I think all the suggestions are great and you should do everything to prevent any strong smells, but is there something she could do as well? This seems very serious and I’m guessing she has spoken to her doctor and hopefully a specialist. Is there anything they have suggested?

Just trying to think of everything as it would be terrible if she had to miss any part of your fun day! 

Post # 14
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Funny you bring this up. One my way to class the other day I noticed a sign on the entrance. It said "This building is a voluntary fragrance free area."

Could you put in a small blurb saying "Kindly keep the wedding fragrance fee." ???

I don’t think everyone has to know exactly why nor is it necessarily any of their business. 

🙂

Post # 15
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Speaking as someone who is epileptic, I would definitely use the word "seizures".  Include the URL of the Epilepsy Foundation if possible – get people informed! 

I think that if you word it as an allergy, guests might not take it seriously. 

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