(Closed) Meeting FMIL for the first time

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Don’t worry she’ll love you just be yourself!

Post # 4
4160 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sure your Fiance has told you a bit about his mom – maybe she loves to sew, do yoga, garden…Just ask her something about herself, listen, and if the convo dies down, relate it back to you.  If she loves gardening and you’ve never done it, tell her you’d love to learn and hopefully that will spark a bit more conversation.  You said it’s a family reunion so I’m sure there will be lots of people to meet and mingle with.

I’m really bad at mingling, but if you try to find some common ground, or talk about something they’re interested in, it usually gets a bit of convo going.  Otherwise they might ask about you, and that would be fine too!  Just don’t talk TOO much about yourself.  

Hope a bit of that helps and good luck.  I’m sure she will love you, your Fiance does!

Post # 5
4160 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

oh and when I said “say you’d love to learn” make sure you actually mean it!!  I’ve gotten trapped in a couple things when I didn’t mean it with my Future Mother-In-Law and FGMIL!!

Post # 6
516 posts
Busy bee

A little tiny bit of sincere sucking-up doesn’t help, either.

Along the lines of what Ryansgirl wrote, maybe bring her a card and little token indicating how excited you are to get to know her/become a part of her family?  If she does have a particular interest, something related to that?

Nothing too big.  If she likes crafts, a Michael’s gift card.  If she likes cooking, a cookbook that specializes in your hometown cuisine.

It might also be nice to ask her if there’s anything in particular that she would like to see/experience at your wedding.  You have a topic of conversation that she should be interested in (as it involves her son), and she might appreciate your willingness to consider her input.  You don’t have to take her suggestions (if they’re off the wall), but it’s nice to ask!

Then if the conversation tapers off later, you’ve made a good first impression!

Good luck!

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