Post # 91
Was he pissed and ready to go THE SECOND things at that party became racist? Pretend this was a first date: Wouldn’t you be massively turned off if you were at a party with racists and your date didn’t immediately insist on leaving? That is an obvious red flag.
The dude has an inappropriate relationship with a coworker and he dragged you to a party with her and some racists, under false pretenses that I am positive he thought of himself. Like based on everything you’ve said about her, there’s no way she made up the lie about it being at her cousin’s! That’s such a stupid, ridiculous lie. Obviously your SO’s creation.
How this really went was her flirting with your SO, complaining about her ex, then flirting and asking your SO to come meet her ex at a party. He made up the lies to get you there. Probably downgraded from “work event” to “cousins party” when he realized there’d be all that racist trash in attendance.
He’s a liar who is flirting with a racist coworker. Have you ever heard the phrase, “Don’t marry a man unless you’d be proud to have a son exactly like him?”
Post # 92
I know he would not cheat on me.
OMG, I hate it when women say this. No you freaking don’t. You think that. The fact that this situation has gotten this far tells me that he has issues with boundaries and appropriate relationships. He shouldn’t have been going to the party in the first place.
Post # 93
I’m another one guessing that SO told you this was a “work event” hoping you wouldn’t attend.
Under the circumstances, the lies about the nature of the party, who was hosting, this person’s disgusting friends, and their racist comments, I don’t know how you can say things went “OK.”
Post # 94
“That said, it is very hard for my SO to form friendships with guys for a lot of reasons. He’s more comfortable with women as platonic friends.”
LMFAO PLEASE tell me this isn’t what he says about himself, cause that’s just a load of bullcrap meant to throw off unsuspecting girlfriends and make them look crazy when they raise an objection to a “female friend”.
In my experience, if a significant other has to make some sort of clarifying statement about their relationship with the opposite sex, they’re usually full of crap
And texting her personal phone saying it’s innocent?? STOP IT. I hate to break it to you, but your Boyfriend or Best Friend sounds like a conniving little douche that wears a mask of innocence, all the while seeing how much he can get away with.
Post # 95
No, he really does struggle to have male friends as he was repeatedly abused by male “friends” growing up and was nearly killed by a man in an assualt. He also would not have invited me to the party if he didn’t want me to go – he would’ve just not told me it was her party. I think he wanted a buffer, which was not fair to me and I’m pissed about it. I think his world has gotten very small and he’s desperate for friends so he sets the bar extremely low. This has been an ongoing problem with him befriending people who steal from him, lie to him, etc. He is a passive person. I want him to stand up for himself more. But he also needs to recognize when his motives aren’t good and that’s what we’re focused on. It’s easy to tell people to break up wtih someone on a chat board, but obviously realy world relationships are more complicated than that.
He has said he’s not going to have any more contact with the girl and we’re not going to see any of those people ever again. We’re also discussing couples counseling, so hopefully we can address these issues.