Meeting my Pakistani future in-laws

posted 1 year ago in South Asian
Post # 2
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

As they are christian and you’re going in December, def take some Christmas gifts for the people you’re meeting. I would also take some chocolates that could be shared around with others.

As for what gifts, I would either bring something from your culture / local area (I am assuming you’re not pakistani) or very inoffensive things like food, flowers, nice scarves for the women, nice inoffensive homewares, christmas decorations etc. I would steer clear of alcohol unless your partner says his family drinks.

Post # 3
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

You should ask your fiance these questions. He will have better insight than strangers on the internet. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Just don’t freak out on any Pakistani food or culture they offer (very spicy). If you’re really unsure about gifts, bring a dessert from your heritage (if you’re German, pfeffernuesse) and some local coffee from your favorite spot in Washington (assuming the state, not the capital).

Read up on Pakistani culture and show that you are genuinely interested in their heritage and that you gave some effort to increase your awareness. In my experience, don’t confuse their culture with India, don’t even mention similarities to Indian norms. They could have strong feelings about India and you don’t want to find that out the hard way.

Post # 5
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee

My advice is not to read too much on Pakistan culture. Talk to your boyfriend. Already if you are not from pakistan and they are ok with you guys dating then they are breaking some norms. Also if they have lived in the USA for a long time then they are likely to have a mixed culture. Being Christian is also totally different from Islam which effect on what you will read about culture.

Bring a nice gift for everyone to enjoy. Hope they make pakistani food. Just have an open mind, be respectful and follow their lead. You’ll be fine

Post # 6
Member
977 posts
Busy bee

I’m Pakistani, but Muslim so not sure how different they’ll be considering a lot ojr culture is influenced by islam. But here’s my recommendation…

-Take flowers and a nice box of chocolates (Ferraro Rocher is my go to) or baklava (if it’s available in you’re area)

-Help clear the table when y’all are done eating and offer to help put away left overs and the like (This is a big thing in our culture lol, if a girl doesn’t help clear the table at small gatherings many take it as a big sign of her being ill mannered or lazy- varies family to family of course but definitely offer) 

and tbh that’s about it. Don’t over think it. Follow their lead and talk to your boyfriend. 

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