Post # 1
This is my first time posting and I could use some advice. For those of you who met your partner after 30 how did you do it? I spent my 20s dating the wrong men who treated me poorly. After my last break up I realized that I needed to take some time to evaluate why I always ended up in these situations. In the process I ended up developing new hobbies, expanding my circle of friends and just getting out and living life to the fullest. Despite all this I can’t seem to meet anyone and I am feeling frustrated. I can be very reserved when you first meet me and I’m wondering if that has anything to do with it but adny advice would be greatly appreciated.
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
I met DH when I was 32. We met online – it was a paid site (eHarmony) as I felt like I was more likely to meet someone genuinely looking for a relationship on a paid site. Our paths would never have crossed otherwise – could be worth a shot for you.
Post # 3
Thirty? When I was in my thirties, the Internet hadn’t even been invented yet and there were plenty of men to date. Grad school classmates, guys from my building, guys from the grocery store, guys from work, there is a whole world full of nice men out there.
I was waaaayyyy past my thirties when I met Dh. I so enjoyed online dating—so much easier than the old fashioned way. By the time I met Dh, we were plenty old enough to be quite clear about what we were about and what we wanted.
Looking back, my thirties really were a lot of fun and general craziness, including a year long thing with a very cute younger man. It ended horribly, but we sure had our moments.
I am truly baffled by the Bees in their thirties, even their late twenties who think their prime dating years are behind them already. Where is that coming from? It’s so wrong.
Post # 4
I also met my DH on eHarmony. It was a good tool for helping to weed out people I would not have been compatible with, and I also believe God used it to bring us together.
ETA: When did Weddingbee start autocorrecting “D H” to Darling Husband?
Post # 5
Before I got together with fi, I was dating a guy that a good friend set me up with.
I met fi at a church activity, but I went to a lot of activities without meeting anyone I wanted to meet.
I did online dating too, but ended up talking to a lot of guys who didn’t want to meet up IRL. Part of it could be I’m attracted to quiet nerds with social anxiety :p
Oh yeah, I’m 36 and fi just turned 39.
Post # 6
Over 40 bee here. I met the love of my life at 43 after many years of picking the wrong guy. The one thing that helped me break the cycle was going to therapy. It helped me to recognize that I wasn’t so unlovable and the belief that I was was the reason why my past relationships failed. I didn’t walk away when the red flags were smacking me in the face because of fear.
One day I just got really honest with myself and made a list of what I needed in a partner. Not wants but needs. I removed anything I considered frivalous or shallow and accepted that he might not have certain qualities I’ve come to expect. I will be getting married in October and I couldn’t be happier.
I now know bee, that the right one will come to you but you have to be open to accept him. That means he may not come in the form you are used to. And none of this happens on your timeline. It happens when God, Budda or the universe decides you are ready for it. Let go of the fear and simply work on being the best you that you can be. Good luck.
Post # 7
I’m at the end of my 30s. Before I met my FH, I dated 4 other guys from age 30 till then. Well one I met at 29. So one I had known for a few years, and wouldn’t you know it, the one I’d known for years and some of my friends had known even longer turned out to be the abusive sociopath! Two other shorter term ones I met on Plenty of Fish. My FH I met through his sister. And the most interesting meet was the gym teacher of my daughter when she was in 2nd grade! I saw him in the hall and thought he was cute and recognized his name as he is the same age as me but went to the high school across town, remembered his name because he played hockey. So after going back and forth on it I just got my courage up and messaged him on Facebook and told him I thought he was cute! Which is very unlike me but I’d been single a verrrrry long time at that point. We really never ended up in a relationship but we did hang out on and off for quite awhile. Just wanted to give you my various meeting methods of my 30s lol!!!
Post # 8
First off, good for you! I too dated the wrong men throughout my 20s. In my early 30s, I told myself I was done with it, and that it was better to be alone than in the wrong relationship.
I met my husband on Match shortly after. We met shortly before I turned 32, got engaged when I was 33, married 2 months before I turned 34, and had our lovely daughter 11 weeks ago – 2 weeks before I turned 35.
Post # 9
A lot of people have good luck online, or through hobbies. Is there a skiing club in your town where you might meet some like-minded folks? You should take a risk and ask out a nice-seeming guy! Most men say they’d love to get asked out by a woman.
I got divorced at 32 and started dating a coworker after a while. I know a lot of people are wary of that, or their workplaces forbid it. But it’s been great for us, as we already knew, liked, and trusted each other (as colleagues / acquaintances). I love seeing him all day at work 😍
Post # 10
Ended a relationship at age 29… tried online dating again, no luck. Became frustrated, but later okay with singleness. After I turned 30, I attended a sci fi convention, and did speed dating there. Always wanted to try speed dating, but wasn’t expecting anything. And I met my now fiancé! And he’ll be almost 37 (I’m 33) when we get married.
i know it’s cliche, but it sometimes happens when you’re not in eexpecting it. In the meantime, continue enjoying life with your new hobbies and friends! Try Meetup events! While I suggest NOT doing these for the sake of trying to find romantic interests… it may be opportunity to meet people with common interests and see what happens!!
Post # 11
PS: I’m more introverted. But get me talking about a passion – I won’t stop talking! Find places were people (guys) start the conversation to ease any anxiety and help you to open up! It’s okay to be reserved, but if someone comes to you to say hi, do you respond? Do you open up? If you hide and don’t talk, then I’d suggest working on skills to help lessen social anxiety. If it’s just you have a hard time being outgoing, but can chat and have conversation if someone else initiates, then I don’t think it’s that much of an issue. Good luck, bee !
Post # 12
This is so important. So many of us get stuck in patterns in which we’re choosing the same guy over and over again. We just can’t see it. A good therapist can be priceless in that situation.
I’m glad you ultimately met the man of your dreams and that you were able to recognize him.
Post # 13
I was separated and 31 when I met my now husband. We met on an online dating site. I met many other guys on the dating site too and lost hope many times. Of the guys I met, I did not like any guys my own age or older – I found there was a good reason that they were single! But I felt sparks and instant comfort with my husband from the beginning. He is 6 years younger than me but we are a perfect match 😊
Post # 14
I was in the same boat as you. I met me now Fiance on Tinder at 31. Engaged at 32 and we will be getting married 2 days before my 34th birthday. I know Tinder is not for everyone as a lot of people just use it for hookups, but I guess I was lucky.
Post # 15
Thanks and I have to say if I didn’t have those experiences, I might have missed out on this man completely. So I do look at my past as sort of a blessing in disguise. Life is just one teachable moment after the next ain’t it?