Meeting someone after 30

posted 2 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 31
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

“I hate this sentiment that if you’re not married by 30 its hopeless and life is over.”

Me, too. My 10-year marriage ended at 37. I met my now-FI at 38 online. I had absolutely no trouble dating and didn’t find my age to be a factor at all. I have many friends in their 40’s and 50’s and none of them had or have trouble dating either. My mother’s 80-year old former co-worker met a man after her 2nd husband’s death and they married and moved to New York together where they spend their time attending theater, opera, and volunteering. I don’t know where we get this idea that there is an age limit to relationships. What breaks  my heart on here are women in their 30’s and even 20’s who resolve to stay in a bad marriage because they “won’t be able to find anyone” at their age. It is never, ever correct.

Post # 32
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI

I thought that too bee!  I was 28 divorced with 3 kids and I thought I’d never find love again.  I was sure!

I met #2 at work at age 30 and while it didn’t work out in the end he’s a nice guy we just rushed into it.  Lasted 6 years though and were very amicable. 

Now Im 38 with 4 kids and I have an amazing SO for a year and a half.  There is love out there for everyone.  It does sometimes take kissing a lot of internet frogs though. Met current  SO on OKcupid.

Post # 33
Member
312 posts
Helper bee

I met my last ex when I was 29 and my current fianee at 31. I met my ex at a brewery, we were starring at each other all night and I was with a guy friend and I found out later he thought I was on a date. I gave him my number written on the back of my receipt when I was leaving as he was standing right behind me. I never make a move so that was a big deal for me. He texted that night.

My current fianee, I met at Starbucks. He struck up a conversation and we were friends first and started dating. 

I never did the online thing. I just prefer to meet people in real life. Just be confident!

Post # 34
Member
3789 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

skiergal :  I’m similar to you and also describe myself as an extroverted introvert. I’m really shy and awkward and have a really hard time making conversation with someone I dont know very well. Once I’m confortable with someone or have some common ground, I have no trouble chatting up a storm but it makes getting to know people pretty challenging. 

I met my SO at 32 through POF. I prefer online dating because I knew what I wanted and didnt want to waste time with someone who didnt want the same things. I found “what are you looking for in a relationship” conversations were a lot more comfortable over messenger than in person, so I was able to weed out people who werent a good match before we even went on a date! My SO and I chatted for 2 months before meeting (we were 2 hours apart) so by the time we met, we were really familiar and I didnt have any issues with conversation (although he’s an excellent conversationalist and now gives me tips on how to get better!)

Post # 35
Member
2115 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I met my SO last year. We met through Bumble (dating app). TBH, I was going to be 35, I had dated a lot of guys I wasn’t super serious about or who weren’t super serious about me and I made a New Year’s Resolution to find the one. My BFF/Roommate did the same thing.

Basically we decided that we would go on at least one date a week. If there was no one new or interesting to date on the app or that we met IRL we would do a friend date with someone we hadn’t seen in a while! I pretty much knew what I wanted at that point, and after going on some okay dates, I had an amazing date with my SO! I was seeing a couple other guys at the time, but by our second date I knew this is who I wanted to give it a shot with! My roommate found his now fiancee the week before I met my boyfriend! 

I had messed around with the apps before but I just decided that I was ready to settle down and do the marriage thing. So I made a serious effort to find someone for the future, not just that was fun now. The mindset change is really what worked for me. I was no longer dating the hottest guy or the funniest, or the most fun. I was dating the guy that I knew would be a great dad and a great partner! And he put up with me! 

TBH I had a blast in my 20’s and early 30’s! I’d probably still be single if I didn’t want kids so much (some health concerns means I will have a hard time conceiving and was told sooner rather than later). Your 30’s aren’t the end! They are when you truly understand who you are and what you want out of life and a partner! Enjoy the process! I had a blast dating all kinds of new people that I normally wouldn’t have through the app! 

Post # 36
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I met my now husband at 35. He was actually employed at the same real estate agency that the broker I contracted with to sell my house worked for. It sounds so cliche but it truly comes when you aren’t expecting it. I had been divorced from my ex husband and a single mom for over 5 years. I have my son 100% of the time, ex is out of the picture completely so I really wasn’t looking or had time to look. I thought maybe once he got older I would try dipping my toes into the dating scene again, but God had other plans for us 😊

We just for married Sunday!

Post # 37
Member
4921 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

KiwiDerbyBride :  we’ve been to 3 weddings where the couple’s met on eHarmony. Definitely recommend that site!

Post # 38
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Forest Grove, OR

skiergal :  I met my Fiance on a dating site when I was almost 31. I’m 33 now, we’ve been together just shy of 3 years. This was also after spending my whole adult life in toxic relationships. I think most people are more mature in our 30s and that makes dating easier. This isn’t always the case, I did have to date quite a few duds, but it was a dating site, so the bar is set pretty low there. What makes our relationship work is that we have all the fundamental things (kids, marriage, goals etc) in common, but hardly have any common interests. He is a huge horror movie buff (owns over 1,000 horror movies), and I’m really into concerts and going to the gym. We give each other space to do our thing, as well as trying to learn to like those things or at least try them.

 

I hope you have great luck finding someone. My advice would be, if you see the same old red flags you’ve seen before, don’t be afraid to end it right then. You can break the cycle of toxic relationships if you recognize the problems and are willing to make yourself a priority for once.

Post # 39
Member
21 posts
Newbee

Met my husband at the age of 34 and online as well. Actually I was writing to a penpal off of a penpal site that no longer exists unfortunately. My penpal was an older woman whom i met in the site in the UK. She had been learning Italian from my now husband online and exchanging languages. She also met him on the site. He had just gone to language classes for over a year but had never heard American English, only British. He still has this strange obsession with American slang lol. Idk. She gave him my email after we spoke about her online friend teaching her Italian. I recieved an email from him and never will forget it. It said, “My name Francesco. I 34 yo Italian. Do you like spaghetti?” He attached a picture of spaghetti. 

I had a very bad marriage beforehand, was and am not an overly attractive woman and had many insecurities at that time. We talked for a year as friends before we met. This isn’t the easiest road to go with long distance two countries (we came back to America about 5 years ago) but honestly I never would have thought to have met anyone so good as my husband; most especially online.  I was older when I met him but we’ve still had 13 years together so far and still sincerely very happy. Maybe because we were older it’s better as an added ingredient.

You have some years left to find the love of your life. Online can bring a lot of frogs but you may very well find the one this way as well if you are patient. 

 

 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors