(Closed) Meeting someone in person that wasn't what they (or you) portrayed online?

posted 8 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Online persona and you:

    I met someone from online that differed from what they portrayed.

    I met someone from online that was pretty much what I saw online.

    I have portrayed someone that is different than the 'real' me.

    I am myself online, take it or leave it

  • Post # 3
    1251 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2009

    I’m a lot less shy online than I am IRL (that’s mostly due to social anxiety though!). I have been best friends with a guy I met online before, when we were both 14-15, and we met up at a christian concert/festival because I wouldn’t meet him alone, and he ended up being NOTHING like I had expected or like he had portrayed himself as. He was a loser and I ended the friendship, though it hurt, because I thought I really knew him and I had confided in him about many things.



    Post # 4
    8434 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think it depends on how you’re meeting them online (i.e. chat room, dating site, mmorpg, fps, etc).  A lot of the FPS gamers tend to be younger and different in person than who they are online; this happens with mmorpgs, but you tend to be able to find older players and female players that tend to be more themselves.  I haven’t really met anyone through chat rooms or dating sites, so I can’t say for those.  I always play myself online (my characters always look like me too lol), I find it easier than having to put on an act.

    Post # 5
    11534 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I am quite thankful that I did not end up meeting any of them in person; however, when I was on eHarmony, I encountered a few matches who were less than forthright in their initial correspondence with me.  It was only after I unleashed my inner investigative reporter that I learned that they were not as they portrayed themselves to be.

    Post # 6
    396 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Omg. About 4 years I ago I met a guy from a dating website. He was 24 or 25 and I was 22. He lived in Virginia and I live in Ohio so he drove 6+ hours and I drove 1.5 hour to meet a few towns over from where I live.

    We had been emailing each other for about 4 months before we decided to meet. I’m not good on the phone so we never called, only email and text. And we really clicked that way! The pictures he had on the site were all decent and his facebook seemed relatively normal. So I was really excited/and nervous! to meet him. We decided to meet at a Bob Evan’s and then go bowling. Well, I got to Bob Evan’s first and as SOON as he walked in I knew it wasn’t going to work. He had obviously used the best pictures for his profile and they were misleading. When he first saw me he said I looked exactly like my pictures and that was a relief. I couldn’t say the same. But I’m not a shallow girl and he drove so far AND we had clicked so I stuck through it.

    It. was. awful. The entire meal was awkward and not a whole lot was said. He was picking at his face the entire time because he had a bad case of acne. Who does that on a first date while you’re eating?! He also was wearing a TACTICAL VEST. For no good reason, except “I’m a bit paranoid.” Well, why couldn’t you tell me THAT in an email? After the awkward lunch we went bowling, he asked if I wanted to ride with him (in his mom’s dark purple minivan), I declined. Bowling was a mess. He acted very weird and everytime he threw the ball he would turn around and smile SUPER WIDE and scary. EVERY TIME. I was trying to act like I was having a good time but I’m sure I was doing a bad job at it. Even the strangers bowling around us could see how uncomfortable I was.

    He kept trying to buy me drinks and I kept politely declining. I was the one a bit paranoid at that point, he was NOT the guy I thought he was. And I wasn’t about to get drugged and put into a purple minivan, in the middle of nowhere. We ended up playing FOUR games of bowling. Ugh.

    At the end we awkwardly hugged and I BOLTED. So yeah, my advice to anyone would be to talk on the phone at the very least. His voice would have made me reconsider the whole date. That may sound superficial but it’s honest. He definitely catfished.

    Post # 7
    4499 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’ve never met anyone in real life who I met online, but I have a lot of friends who have, and many of them have found that the guys they met were completely different (physically) in person than online… pretty much always in a bad way.

    When I had a profile on match.com I remember choosing somewhat unflattering pictures of myself so that if I ever met anyone IRL, he’d be pleasantly surprised. The last thing you want is for someone to be disappointed when he meets you, haha!

    Post # 10
    105 posts
    Blushing bee

    I try to be as close to myself as possible online.

    Post # 11
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I have never portrayed myself any differently. Never had a reason to pretend to be something I wasn’t… I was never interested in looking to date anyone from the internet and when it came to mmorpgs, I kept information about myself pretty minimal. 

    Only dated one person that I had met online (from myspace), my husband. He was exactly what I expected him to be.

    I have heard of catfishing and watched that show on MTV, it is pretty interesting….yet sad.

    Post # 12
    3665 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2000

    @Sweet_Tea:  I’ve been a member of an online interest group since 2001. I’ve met, let’s see–5 people and their families from various states trhough that list and they are all just like they said they were.

    Post # 13
    4045 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    My Fiance and I met online. We met in a game, started talking everyday, and we became great friends. Eventually things turned romantic. We never clearly defined what we had going on though because we knew there could be a chance of not having chemistry in person – or worse – that one of us had been big fat liars the whole time.

    Obviously it turned out well, and we discovered that we easily got along in person as well as we did online. That is only because we were completely ourselves online and never hid our personality. It worked out.

    I will say I tend to be more “outgoing” online, and I can be wittier. That’s mostly because I’m not as quick with face-to-face interaction. But that is the only way I’m really different. I’m pretty much who I am.

    Post # 14
    191 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I’m a big advocate of online dating – met my husband on match and he was cuter than his pictures in real life.  Most of the people I met while online were honest about who they were and what they looked like.

    The one lie I noticed several times was that many guys lied about height.  One guy was only about 5′ 5″ but had listed 6ft on his profile…I don’t care about height at all so would have let it slide perhaps but when I met him he immediately went on the offensive and said “there is NO WAY you’re 5’2″!” LOL…we did not go on a 2nd date.

    Post # 15
    8572 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’ve neverr done online dating… but me & my fi met on WoW. Started just as friends, we played ALOT together, and eventually got closer. He was pretty much the same, and he says I was pretty much the same. I am a tad bid shy IRL until you get to know me and then ill start my crazy antics.

    Before him, I had met a few other guys. I never dated or did anything with those guys, they some of them were alot differant, and some were super creppy!

    One I met…. this makes me laugh everytime.. he wanted me to take him shopping for a new look. He was a complete nerd, pocket protector and everything. I took him shopping, bought him new clothes and he wanted to get togehter, but I hooked him up with my friend instead.

    Another guy, we met at a bar for drinks, a few times. On the third meetup, he got into the back of my car, whipped out his stick, and started jacking off. I freaked out, and never talked to him again.

    Another guy I met, was my ex. We actually dated for 4 years, but he was such a womanizer. He took me for just about all the money I had, and fooled me into thinking he loved me. He was a very cruel person. He would constantly tell me that I was fat, or my boobs were saggy and I needed to fix it. MIND YOU, he was nearly 400 pounds, 5’8″. I have large boobs [38 DDD], and have had large DD’s since I was 8, so yes, grativity has taken it’s course. There isn’t much I can do. I wore a size 16 in juniors, I wasn’t HUGE, but I wasn’t skinny. He would always put me down at any chance he got.

    There were like 2 more I met, and they were pretty typical, they kind of seemed like themselves, but I eventually stopped talking to them.

    I met a few girls online too who were looking for friends, and I’m still friends with them today! I think they were the most real of anyone I’ve met online.


    Post # 16
    82 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @Sweet_Tea:  My best friend is someone I met online. In fact, the first time we met was when she traveled to see me… to be a bridesmaid in my wedding! 🙂

    The topic ‘Meeting someone in person that wasn't what they (or you) portrayed online?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors