Meeting SO's 18 Year Old Daughter – Advice?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

anonymous54321 :  I have been through this twice now (my dad has a nack for not wanting to stay married) and must say that the best way to handle this situation is to let her come to you. Wait until shes ready! Let her have her space, let her and dad spend the alone time they need, and please don’t act like you want to be best friends, just let it happen naturally! Its an awkward situation for both of you. All the emotions your feeling she is too, just try to remember that. Good luck!

Post # 18
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

 

anonymous54321 :  

When I met my stepson (he is 17), we connected immediately. However, I let him and my Fiance (now husband) have their time. To my surprise, they included me in their conversations and jokes. I was warm to him and I let the relationship grow naturally. It has turned out really nice. 

My advice is to relax and let your Fiance lead the way. I would encourage them to have some alone time when she arrives. I ran some errands the 1st weekend my stepson spent with us. I wanted them to have some time to catch up and bond, etc. 

Also, follow her lead as well. She may warm up to you right away. Just be cool, confident, and friendly. I hope everything goes well, good luck!

 

Post # 19
Member
473 posts
Helper bee

Don’t stress about it and treat it like you would if you were meeting any other new acquaintance. By that I mean just be you! I remember being nervous about meeting my FI’s kids for the first time. Luckily our meeting ended up being kind of a spur of the moment so I didn’t have much time to fret over it. They were much younger (8 & 10) at the time, so i’m sure it will be a bit different for you. If she’s a sweet girl like others have said, I really don’t think you have anything to worry about. I also think it’s great that you have something in common as far as your major goes, that will surely help the two of you bond.

Post # 21
Member
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2017

I was the 18 year old child 13 years ago. 

My dad and his SO lived in a different country than mine and I was not having a good relationship with my dad at the time. 

He couldn’t leave his country (wont get into that, too long) so she, withouth knowing me, took a flight and came to meet me at my house with the permission of my mom to get to know me and try to get me to fly abroad and forge a relationship with dad.

I loved her, I was a brat and I fell in love with this woman since the moment I meet her. She was beautiful, real and very brave for doing what she did. Because of her I was able to have a relationship with my dad (he died a few years ago). We are no longer in contact but I always remember her with a smile on my face. 

They got married and she did it special for me, we went dress shopping together, she arranged to have my hair amd makeup done, she even flew my boyfriend as a surprised. 

What made me love her so much was that she was super open from the get go, she was a widow and she told me about her experienced she treated me as an adult and told me how much she loved my dad. She made me realized dad must be doing something good to have such a wonderful woman loving him. 

She was 35, I am 31 now and I can’t imagine myself in her possition, but I thank God daily for sending her into his life and mine.

Keep it real, try to ber her friend; she already has a mom. And trust me, if you love her dad and she can see that everything will be fine. 

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