(Closed) Meeting the kids/family

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
4145 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

What is his reasoning for why you haven’t met them yet? After 1.5 years of dating, you should have met SOMEONE. 

Post # 3
Member
1535 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

* Do they even know about you?

* I want to know why he’s reluctant … if you’re part of his future then surely he’d be wanting to introduce you.

Post # 4
Member
9381 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

did you ask him why?

Post # 5
Member
32 posts
Newbee

View original reply
artpixie19 :  I haven’t met my boyfriend’s family but we’ve only been dating almost 14 months. I used to feel that way…why doesn’t he want me to meet his family, his friends, he must not care about me then…etc.

To be honest now I feel it’s better to not meet them unless we’re going to be serious and get married. I want to get married but he recently told me he “doesn’t feel that way about me” as of right now, but he has felt that way for his exes. Ouch?! In that case why would I want to go through the anxiety of meeting his parents.

He said he will introduce me in a couple months at a family birthday party but now I don’t feel so eager about it anymore and would rather not. Plus his parents do not speak much English which would make it more difficult, and I feel like they wouldn’t like me.

Post # 6
Member
47291 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

He may have a perfectly valid reason for not yet introducing you to his kids. When I was dating as a single parent, I did not involve my kids- period. They had already experienced a loss with our divorce. I was not going to let them get attached to another man and then go through another loss if we ended th relationship.

When Darling Husband and I knew that our relationship was solid, then I began to introduce him to my kids.

Post # 7
Member
1548 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
artpixie19 :  3 years?! What happens on holidays?

Post # 8
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee

Kids and family I can understand after only actually dating a year and a half, but you’ve never met any of his friends? That’s shady AF.

Post # 9
Member
582 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
artpixie19 :  WHAT?! That’s crazy and that’s a red flag. What is he waiting for? he’s not treating like someone who wants his family to meet you especially after 1.5 years. 

 

Post # 10
Member
7179 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

In a year and a half of dating you still haven’t met his friends? While I think going that long and not meeting the kids is still a little odd, I do understand taking longer to introduce them. That being said not meeting his friends?? That’s crazy. Who do you guys hang out with? Shady. 

Post # 14
Member
3035 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I mean..the only way through this is to sit down, have an adult discussion on expectations/future goals/timelines, and lay out all your feelings.

If he’s the man you think he is or want to be with, discussing your future together shouldn’t hurt.

Post # 15
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
artpixie19 :  No I do not think this is just him taking things slow, it’s fucking weird. As in, are you sure he isn’t married and living a double life kind of weird?! How are you even asking this question?!! 

You are right to be anxious. And actually I think what you’re feeling is more common sense than anxiety, because this situation is so crazy. Kids are one thing, but not meeting his friends after this long is bizarre. Super bizarre.

I say this as a person who generally prefers to keep my friendships separate from my husband, I don’t like socialising as a couple. But in your situation I would assume he hasn’t told his friends or family about you.

You need to talk to him.

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