Post # 1
Should I be worried that I haven’t met his children or family yet?
My boyfriend and I have known eachother for about 3 years and have been dating for half that time. He is 10 years older than I am, so I know there was a certain amount of hesitancy on both ends when we first decided to date. But we have grown to be comfortable with out differences and have moved passed that.
The problem is, I haven’t met any of his friends, family, or his two children yet. I am not used to the long wait and although he talks to me about them (especially his children, he is a proud father) I am starting to feel like I have been compartmentalized from the rest of his life. Am I over analyzing things and getting worried over nothing? Or is this something I should be watching out for? This is uncharted territory for me, so any advice would help.
Post # 2
What is his reasoning for why you haven’t met them yet? After 1.5 years of dating, you should have met SOMEONE.
Post # 3
* Do they even know about you?
* I want to know why he’s reluctant … if you’re part of his future then surely he’d be wanting to introduce you.
Post # 5
I haven’t met my boyfriend’s family but we’ve only been dating almost 14 months. I used to feel that way…why doesn’t he want me to meet his family, his friends, he must not care about me then…etc.
To be honest now I feel it’s better to not meet them unless we’re going to be serious and get married. I want to get married but he recently told me he “doesn’t feel that way about me” as of right now, but he has felt that way for his exes. Ouch?! In that case why would I want to go through the anxiety of meeting his parents.
He said he will introduce me in a couple months at a family birthday party but now I don’t feel so eager about it anymore and would rather not. Plus his parents do not speak much English which would make it more difficult, and I feel like they wouldn’t like me.
Post # 6
He may have a perfectly valid reason for not yet introducing you to his kids. When I was dating as a single parent, I did not involve my kids- period. They had already experienced a loss with our divorce. I was not going to let them get attached to another man and then go through another loss if we ended th relationship.
When Darling Husband and I knew that our relationship was solid, then I began to introduce him to my kids.
Post # 7
3 years?! What happens on holidays?
Post # 8
Kids and family I can understand after only actually dating a year and a half, but you’ve never met any of his friends? That’s shady AF.
Post # 9
WHAT?! That’s crazy and that’s a red flag. What is he waiting for? he’s not treating like someone who wants his family to meet you especially after 1.5 years.
Post # 10
In a year and a half of dating you still haven’t met his friends? While I think going that long and not meeting the kids is still a little odd, I do understand taking longer to introduce them. That being said not meeting his friends?? That’s crazy. Who do you guys hang out with? Shady.
Post # 11
holidays have been us spending time with our respective families during the day and then together in the evenings
we both have busy lives (i’ve gone back to school and we both work). so we really just hang out with eachother since we don’t have much spare time. i was good with this until i realized that no matter how much he talked about his friends, i had never met them and couldn’t put faces to the names.
Anyone think its possibly just him taking things slow? Figuring things out before he jumps too far? That’s what I’m hoping, but my anxiety gets to me every not and then about this.
Post # 12
you make a good point with the having a solid relationship before meeting the kids. I was more on the other side thinking in order to have that solid relationship, i’d need to meet his kids. I don’t feel that I can or should get used to the idea of a forever with a man when I’m not familiar with such an important part of this life.
that sucks. I don’t want to end up investing so much of my time with someone (no matter how great we are together) just to find out he doesn’t see a future with me in it. That is partially my fear here.
not really. During a conversation about his kids he slipped in “you’ll meet them soon”. But i havn’t heard any more on that in 1-2 months. I asked if I could meet his friends one day and I think he was really taken aback by it. But then said something to the effect of “yeah, I don’t know why i haven’t introduced you yet. But you can definitely meet them.” If you can’t tell, we aren’t very direct. lol
Post # 13
I think his friends know about me. And he is moving in with his sister for a few months. So as long as she is paying attention to him leaving every other night, she will know if she doesn’t already. And yes, I want to know that too.
No reasoning yet. I’m not direct enough to ask out of the blue and there hasn’t been any good segway into that conversation (not while i’ve had the courage to ask anyway).
Post # 14
I mean..the only way through this is to sit down, have an adult discussion on expectations/future goals/timelines, and lay out all your feelings.
If he’s the man you think he is or want to be with, discussing your future together shouldn’t hurt.
Post # 15
No I do not think this is just him taking things slow, it’s fucking weird. As in, are you sure he isn’t married and living a double life kind of weird?! How are you even asking this question?!!
You are right to be anxious. And actually I think what you’re feeling is more common sense than anxiety, because this situation is so crazy. Kids are one thing, but not meeting his friends after this long is bizarre. Super bizarre.
I say this as a person who generally prefers to keep my friendships separate from my husband, I don’t like socialising as a couple. But in your situation I would assume he hasn’t told his friends or family about you.
You need to talk to him.