(Closed) Meltdown Level Red! Having to Change Wedding for 3rd Time.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Ugh that just so sucks. All around. You totally deserve a good cry, a good yell, and a big glass of wine (or 3). I’m a little bit confused though… is the ONLY reason you’re moving it from July 31 because of T’s brother? If he is the only one it doesn’t work for… can’t you just say oh well? I mean that sucks if he isn’t there obviously… but it seems like your options are piss him off… or do this destination wedding and maybe put a few people out due to cost (or maybe I’m misreading???). You didn’t spill the oil, you made a great backup plan. 

Regarding mojo…. yea I don’t know. I think once you have a SET plan it’l probably come back. Its hard to be excited about maybes. 

Post # 4
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry for your family losses!  Is there a way to “negotiate” with everyone, like say not have a best man?  Just try to stay relaxed….best wishes.

By the way, great picture!

Post # 5
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

There is nothing to do other than curl up with your Fiance and have a good ole sobfest…and then leave all thiings wedding alone for a while until you finish being upset that your plans went all to hell.

I was where you are just a little while ago. I was supposed to get married this past December but due to an icestorm our flight was cancelled which threw off our whole timeline which meant we couldn’t get married in Jamaica as planned. Dream wedding down the tubes =( Add to that the death of my grandmother and 2 uncles this year and the death of FI’s mother, from December to now has been pretty rough. I have been to a funeral every month this year…except the current month.

BUT in spite of all that…

When I hear my FIs voice and see the love that he has for me and his committment to me…it gives me strength. A hug from my daughter makes me smile. I take long walks and enjoy the flowers and greenery of Spring. I realized that yes….a wedding with all of the bells and whistles would be great…but as long as I can marry my Fiance and combine our families I don’t care where it happens. Courthouse, backyard, church…wherever.

Take some time…mourn the loss of those wedding plans that you have worked so hard on…..then gear up and plan somethign equally as fabulous…you can do it =)

Post # 8
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Belle, I am so sorry. You don’t deserve this at all. You of all people deserve the most perfect wedding day, because you are such a generous, kind person!! 

Is there any way you can move the Alabama wedding up to July 24, so BIL/BM can make it? The Alabama wedding sounded lovely and exactly what you wanted. I know a destination semi-elopement would also be wonderful, but I agree with T that you will probably regret it. In-law tensions will smooth over eventually, but you are creating YOUR family and you have to do what you feel is right in your heart and not compromise too much! 

And I am with you that T shouldn’t “walk the line” – he should stand up and say, “Yo bro, we are in a tough spot and this is what is best for us. You gotta do your best to make it or I guess we’ll be without you, but we can’t plan our wedding around you.” I know how important it is to feel like your man has your back!

Post # 9
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

Hi Bellenga,

I just want to say that I agree 100% with daniellemybelle!!!  It is crazy for your Future In-Laws to think that you should change your wedding day to accomodate your FBIL-so they can have a vaca!!  I would be livid!!!  That is just so wrong of him to put everybody else out, all your friends and BMs too.  I am so upset for you.  You really do deserve better than this, and I think T should be supporting you In My Humble Opinion.  I’m feeling rabid with you. lol.  I don’t think you should have to appease others on YOUR wedding day!! (And I agree that if you can, get married in July without their friend/minister if he’s not available if you so choose) HUGS!

Post # 11
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Unless something like a natural disaster or something tragic as Jamaicabride described, I don’t see how the date for a wedding is flexible. I know it would be unfortunate if one person didn’t make it, but…. life goes on. If I were in the wedding also and had made travel plans and everything ahead of time, but then found everything changing several times for one party member, I would probably bow out, I’m sorry to say. And if I were in charge of planning? I would move ahead as scheduled. You shouldn’t move your wedding around so your FI’s Brother-In-Law can get a vacation. it does not make sense to me.

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