(Closed) Memo to FMIL, we are not rich

posted 11 years ago in Money
Post # 3
5117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ugh, I had this discussion with Fiance this weekend. Any good black Friday deal he’d see, he’d be all excited…’I should get a 52″ tv!’…’I need a new guitar’…etc, etc. I’d mentioned to him EACH TIME about saving up for the wedding and how that needs to be our priority. Today when he was discussing a new TV again, he quickly followed up with ….’later, once the wedding’s over’.

It’s too bad your Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t get it, but I’d definitely have a heart to heart with Fiance and see if he can work on curbing the spending and discussing big purchases like that, especially after giving up your dinner together. He’ll get it, it may just take a few times. Is there something he loves about the wedding/really wants in it? If he gets that each $100 splurge over what you’d planned on spending sets him back on something he likes for the big day, it might sink in. Once it’s in his head, he may be able to tell Future Mother-In-Law no when it comes to ridiculous requests. 

Post # 4
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh he would SOOOOOOOO be in the doghouse with me!!  He basically erased an opportunity to be good to you (an anniversary dinner) so he could give his brother something for an ordinary holiday (not even something momentous like a graduation or something!).  Woof.

Post # 5
5988 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

sorry you had to cancel your dinner Jill, hopefully it will drive home how the choices he makes affects the both of you and the bigger picture

Post # 6
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The process probably went like this

Fiance thinking: Omg what am I going to get lil bro for xmas I have no idea?  I know, Ill ask my mom

Fiance: What does lil bro want for xmas?

Future Mother-In-Law: Lil bro wants Nintendo Wii for Christmas

Fiance: Okay love you bye

Fiance thinking: I could spend a lot of time, stress and energy looking for something less expensive.  I should probably do that.  What could I get him…..hmmm……thinking….a flashlight….maybe….no…..slippers….no lame…OR I COULD GET LIL BRO WHAT HE REALLY WANTS no matter how much it costs.  Sounds like a great idea.


Post # 7
15531 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

He hasn’t given him the gift yet right?  Have Fiance return the gift.  Enjoy the nice dinner and the find a normal less expensive gift for the little brother.  =)

Post # 8
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Jillbean:  My fmil asked my fh for a lapptop for herself….my fh has 2 children that we have been shooping for and i was so excited about finding good deals. But  laptop… I dont know what we are going to do. She text’d him pics of doorbuster deals all over 200 bucks but would require me possibly getting into a boxing match in some random target… sigh good luck to you.

Post # 9
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with pink shoes, return the gift, go out for dinner and get the 15 year old a gift you and your future husband think should be appropriate for a 15 year old…..nuf said.

Post # 10
920 posts
Busy bee

angiexox OMG! You are hilarious!! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!


Jillbean I had this same thing happen to me and my SO. His mom actually asked for a new garage door opener (the mechanism with remote and everything) and then had the nerve to say they would need it installed too, so don’t forget about that. Who does that?? She knows my husband is in school…and I’m the only bread winner right now!! What’s funny too is that she and my SIL only ever get my SO and I cheap gifts. Normally we don’t really care, but they always seem to ask for expensive things. FOr christmas one year my Mother-In-Law got me socks, and my SIL got my husband a bottle of shampoo. They all thought it was funny but they never gave us anything real. Some people.

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