Post # 1
I had an idea to do a table to the side at my reception and have one of those memorial candles on it (already lit) and a picture of my grandparents and then some whitr (unlit) votives. ThenI was going to have m family memebers light a candle (not in an organized manner, just at some point during the night) in remembrance of my grandparents. My family is small, about 8 people! My grandparents were a very large and important part of my life, and have both passed away. I would really like to honor them at my wedding. And how should I go about it? out a sign there? Have the DJ announce it? Is it rude to only ask my side of the family to light candles?
Post # 3
I think you should honor your grandparents in any way that you feel comfortable–if they were an important part of your life, then they should be memorialized in some way on your special day. I think if you strategically place the table, then people will know what to do with it, you won’t have to announce anything, and maybe put a framed poem on the table, stating what you want done. Fiance grandmother is still living but has advanced Alzheimer’s so likely won’t be joining us–he is the first male grandchild to be getting married, so it’s hugely cultural to have the grandparents there. We are going to skype with her–she won’t at all understand what is going on, but most of the rest of the family hasn’t seen her in several months, and it will be nice for everyone to “see” her. For those that have already passed on, we are recognizing them on the back of the programs, and also will have a table set up at the reception with pictures and flower arrangements, my grandmother LOVED pink roses, so there will be a small arangement in her honor.
Post # 4
I love the idea of the table, but I think that the candlelighting thing might be confusing… If you want your relatives to be the ones to light the candles… then I would direct them to do so immediately entering the reception area…so that the candles are all lite when others notice the table. (If it was a part of your ceremony, then having them light the candles at a different time would be okay, but at the reception, I think that unlit candles just looks like someone forgot to light them… and that would be like thinking that this table display was just a secondary thought… not an important rememberance.
Post # 5
If you have a sign on the table directing people what to do, then the unlit candles are fine. I think it would be neat to let everyone light a candle in rememberance of someone if they would like, not just your side of the family. How many people total are coming to your wedding? You could get a couple different decorative cake plates (or make them! Let me know if you need a tutorial on how to make them) and place the votives on them, in addition to on the table, so there is varying levels of height, which would make for a more interesting table.
My FI’s mom died when he was 10, so we are doing a memorial table with an arrangement of sunflowers (her favorite flower) and a black & whote photo of her on her wedding day. We are also including b&w photos of my grandparents and his grandparents on their wedding days. I’m making his butonierre and putting a small charm on it with her photo and a treble clef music note (she was a musician and it is on her grave) so that way she can be with him during the whole ceremony and wedding.