Post # 1
So we are having a small Destination Wedding (it seems like all I do anymore is start threads on here!!) and I’d like to have a small memorial for the ones that can’t be there but would. Is this too much? My grandmother died last Aug, my grandfather in 1996. His grandparents when he was small. My step cousin two years ago. Is there any form of etiquette for this? At holiday dinners with his family, they always light one white candle and put it on the table for his Mother’s parents. I was thinking maybe a few white candles and their pictures? On another table I wanted to have pictures of the couples that are all still together or would be…maybe I should combine the two?
Post # 3
My FI’s mother passed away about 15 years ago. His sister had a small table with 1 place setting at her wedding to memorialize their mother. I think Fiance wants to do the same at ours- which I think is kind of depressing, but I’m totally ok with it if it’ll make him happy. We are also having his mom mentioned during the mass.
Post # 4
Not at all! we did one, DHs cousin was murdered 2 days before our wedding and both of our father passed away unexpectantly in 2008, so we had a table for them. We had a picture and a poem nd 3 candles lit in thier memory. Everyone loves it and thought it was very touching!
Post # 5
My dad passed away 6 years ago this Sunday. As the anniversary approaches, and I get deeper into wedding planning, it’s really hitting me that I won’t get to share this day with my dad. So for the past few days, I’ve thought of how to do some sort of memorial. I’ll have a memorial vase, and I will put my bouquet in it after the ceremony. I will have a locket in my bouquet with a photo of us (I just did the locket today), and there will be a couple photos on the table. There will also be a mention in the program. We both have grandparents and other relatives that passed, but we didn’t want to go too far down that road and have it be depressing. But a parent (or some other close relative) of the bride or groom is a different matter. When we talked of people we could honor, my Fiance mentioned his cousin’s wife. But that’s just too far removed for me. We’re only doing doing a memorial for my dad.
Post # 6
I think its a great idea. I lost my dad about 5 years ago and it is so hard to get married without your dad. (think of all the traditions with a bride and her dad) What we are doing is a table in front with pictures of our parents on their wedding day, and our grandparents on their wedding day.
@Eastmeetsbarn – I agree. Sometimes we can go too far on the memory train and it can take away from the Joy – all depends on your relationship with that person.
Post # 7
We left an empty chair at the ceremony for my husband’s mother who passed away eleven years ago. It had a picture of them together when he was a baby. I placed my bouquet on the chair as a symbol of thanks to her.
I had a locket on my bouqut with a picture of my grandmother who passed away a couple weeks before my wedding.
We didn’t do any other memorials becuase they either died long before the wedding (I consider 1996 to be a looooooong time and more awkward to bring up) or they were distant enough relatives that we didn’t feel it was worth taking away from the day to mention. A step cousin would fall in that category for me.
If it’s really important to you, by all means do it. But, I think once you’re in step cousin territory, it’s gone too far!
Post # 8
I think the 1996 thing is right. Maybe just a small table with pictures of those grandparents and parents that had long lasting happy marriages? That was my initial idea..kind of like they are/were our “inspiration”. That way even if they are gone, it isn’t really a memorial. More of a thanks..our wedding will be funny and quirky anyway so I’m hoping for not too much boo hooing. I’m not a crier, but he is. ??
Post # 9
I say go for it. We did a small memorial table of candles at our ceremony for our loved ones and friends that we’d lost. We put the couples’ names onto one card and individuals on their own. Then there was a larger pillar that had a simple card on it about what the candles represented. We’ve received lots of compliments on it, and it was nice to have a quiet place for people to reflect without being too sad or bringing the mood down.
Post # 10
I don’t think it’s too much. I did something similar. My mom passed away in 2009 and I wanted to honor her and I included the grandparents, too. I bought some vellum print outs on Etsy and wrapped a vase with them and put a LED candle. Put some birds and flowers around it since my mom loved birds. I really liked it. I preferred it to saying something which I knew would’ve made me cry. I also put a photo charm on my bouquet, too.