(Closed) Men and their mothers rant

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: How do you think FMIL problem should be solved?
    avoid issue for now and hope being stationed far away solves it : (1 votes)
    7 %
    FI should have it out with her now : (9 votes)
    60 %
    FI should put himself up for adoption and hope for better relationship with new mom : (2 votes)
    13 %
    other- explain : (3 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 3
    6065 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I have one thing to say to you- be careful. Make SURE that your Fiance is going to put you first in his life, and that he wont get sucked in my his mom…She can be as crazy as she wants to be- but it is only going to be tolerable if you know your Fiance has your back in life and is aware that she can be excessive.

    (also join us on the Jan2012 board!) 🙂

    Post # 5
    6065 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    @secondchances: It’s important for you and him to pick your battles- no need to go crazy with her over every little thing. But there should be a limit. And when she does something that is super out of line, he needs to discuss it with her. He doesnt need to shout or be mean- but he does need to be firm.

    Avoiding conflict can lead to problems sometimes…

    Post # 6
    99 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Hmm..Simplest answer:


    There are those kinds of Mothers out there, so best thing I think.. is Fiance should lay out how he feels about what’s been happening. Not mention much of you if at all. You both don’t want resentment to be fostered. 

    Second loosely quoted: “A man leaves* his parents to cleave to his wife.” That should be made clear. 

    Hope you and your Fiance find the answer for peace.


    Post # 7
    749 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    uuugggh…do we have the same FMIL? lol. My Future Mother-In-Law has attachment issues. If Fiance doesn’t call her every day, she will call and leave voice messages like, “just checking to make sure that you are alive…can’t you just call me to let me know you are alive??”. She also wants to control his life. We moved away for my work, and she acted like I put a gun to his head and made him come. She is also watching our dog for this year while we are gone. We are moving to within 2 hours of them in a month and we will finally have a yard again, so we can take the dog back. Apparently she has bonded with him and is now insisting on ‘joint custody’…of a dog…but expects us to do the driving every 2 weeks. I think that some MILS are just crazy. I just try to ignore mine. Good luck with yours

    Post # 8
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Your Fiance needs to man up and grow up. He can’t have a conversation without her eavesdropping? That is not acceptable behavior and he needs to let her know it.

    She rants at him (an adult!) for driving to see his fiance? Not acceptable behavior and he needs to let her know it.

    I don’t know if mother/son living together (before/after) the wedding is at all a good idea, but that’s your call.

    There should be no arguing. There should be him living his life and informing her of any time she crosses the line.

    Post # 9
    2548 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    At first I thought, ” not another Future Mother-In-Law thread”. But you have some right to be upset. There are some serious seperation anxiety here that your Future Mother-In-Law needs to deal with, and your fiance needs to have a grown up conversation with her!

    The topic ‘Men and their mothers rant’ is closed to new replies.

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