(Closed) Men are stupid…And insulting.

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
293 posts
Helper bee

Awwww – I don’t think he meant to hurt you or make you feel like tomorrow is insignificant.  Maybe you can suggest a restaraunt that is somewhere between the Mystery Pricing Restaraunt and Applebees?  That way it could be a little more special than a regular date night, but not so much that he is uncomfortable?  It would be a great compromise, which is always a great thing in a relationship.

Congratulations on your one year anniversary!  Don’t let this get to you and put a damper on your day – you only get to make this memory once.  🙂 

Post # 4
293 posts
Helper bee

oh, and p.s. A little fancier means that he has to compromise too, and go a weeee bit outside his comfort zone – meet you in the middle so to speak.  I certainly didn’t mean to imply for you to do all the compromising! 🙂

Post # 5
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Firstly congratulations on the 1 year anniversary! I am sure it will be special no matter what you do!

I can relate – my boy isnt a planner at ALL! Our 3 year anniversary is coming up and we decided to take a road trip to another state… well, once that decision was made, the rest was left up to me! I have been emailing him restaurant choices (I spent ages narrowing it down to two choices, all he had to do was read the menus and say which he preferred!) but he just doesnt care…

For him, the romantic part of the anniversary is that we are together. He hates to plan things and just wants to enjoy time together. It is frustrating when you want a nice night out, but try to remember the sweet things they do in every day life, as ultimately that is more important than the date we get once a year!

Post # 6
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

GUys are just like that.  You can make it a special day by getting him a card or a small gift and telling him how special the year has been.  You could just cook him an extra special dinner if he doesnt want to go out.  And light some candels too.

Post # 7
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@Young.love: I’m sorry – I totally understand how you feel. My guy is totally like that. He flat out says he doesn’t think it’s worth it and just refuses to go! And while we’re on the subject, a mini vent:

I asked him to help me plan our honeymoon since that’s the ONLY part of the wedding I’m not completely in charge of. And he even got mad when I asked him if he wanted to go to one place or two! When he finally said one, I asked if he thought we’d have enough to do in New Zealand for a week. Then he says, I dunno, why don’t you look up stuff to do??? UGHHH. Men ARE stupid.

Post # 8
18627 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I really don’t think he meant to hurt you.  My husband doesn’t really plan much.  I think that the two of you should sit down and talk about your budget so you two can go out and enjoy your money sometimes!

Post # 9
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Yeah I don’t see the big deal.  If you want to go to a certain place then say that’s where you want to go and be done with it.  I tend to believe we’re each good at certain things and you can’t expect the other person to be good at those things too. 

Post # 10
81 posts
Worker bee

I hear you! Mr. Owl is NOT a planner and it drives me bonkers. When he’s apathetic about planning it makes me feel like he doesn’t care about me/what matters to me. It seems like you might be feeling that way too. I hope you are able to find a suitable compromise. GL!

Post # 11
184 posts
Blushing bee

Maybe you can explain that you’d prefer not to go to a chain restaurant and say it doesn’t have to be super expensive, but you don’t want it be the usual.  I’m sure there are some nice local restaurants that’d suite both of yalls needs.  Don’t feel too bad though, my boyfriend and I have never really celebrated any of our anniversaries(we’ve had 4 of them so far!) and one year we even forgot lol, so just enjoy it :).  Being together a year is a big milestone!

Post # 13
1726 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Hmm, I’m not surprised by your guy not being great at planning out romantic evenings (like pp said, just not many guys’ forte), but fighting you over wanting to go someplace special for your first anniversary seems kinda… off. Especially the “why would you even tell me” comment, which implies that it’s out of the budget. Except you say it shouldn’t be, since he’s doing fine financially for something like that, in which case, yes, that turns into an insult — insinuating that your special day isn’t worth the cost to him (which of course in a woman’s mind easily translates to, “I am not worth the cost?!” “I’m not worth dressing up for?” etc). Ouch. I think you should call him out on that, if you haven’t already. I’m sure he wasn’t meaning to be hurtful, but saying things like that is not acceptable given the implications, IMO.

Post # 14
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Aww I know how you feel Mr. Pens is the same way. It took him untill our 5 year anniversary to take me to a romantic 4 star resturant where they turn you away if you aren’t in a suit/dress. I know right now you want it to be romantic and you want to remember this for the rest of your life, but you will. I look back on all of our anniversaries very fondly and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I really hope you have a great time on your anniversary and I am happy that your friends toasted the two of you, it sounded nice.

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