(Closed) Men who don't wear their wedding bands

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 91
Member
2452 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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2monthweddingplanner:  Your husband made his ring? My Fiance thought about doing the same! I think that’s so awesome!

Post # 92
Member
5136 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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Kimbalina81:  there are some men that dont like jewlery and thats okay. DH doesnt wear any jewlery except his WB, and I even told him that if he doesnt want to wear it, its ok but he actually loves how comfortable his ring is. Lol

and when he travels with his friends, i actually tell him to leave his ring home bc im afraid he will loose it. 

Post # 93
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee

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Newbie1982:  having a baby makes it more important for you to change your name and use Mrs but not for your husband to change anything (i.e wear a ring)? I completely agree; rings, surnames, pieces of paper, they don’t mean people love each other more or less. I do find the discussion super interesting. I hope you don’t think I’m criticising, I’m genuinely interested in your thoughts 

Post # 94
Member
6375 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

My understanding was that wedding rings were not commonly worn by men until after WW2:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12986535

However, they are certainly the norm now. I’m in two minds. On the one hand, some people don’t like rings. On the other, I can remember going out dancing when I was much younger and being hit on by older men who had clear tan lines where they’d obviously removed their rings for the night. That was really gross.

Post # 95
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

My husband can’t wear a ring for work and dislikes wearing jewelry in general. He decided to have his ring tattooed. I was surprised by his decision because he doesn’t have any other tattoos. He loves it though. 

Post # 96
Member
1186 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

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KinkyOrange: Good article, mirrors my understanding of the old ring situation (sign of ownership). When discussing our ceremony, we were asked whether we wanted the ring exchange service, or just the ring given to the bride…I asked if there was a ‘ring just for the groom’ service. “Shockingly” there wasn’t  

Also, tan lines…gross. “You seem to have misplaced your wedding band as well as your manners” might have put them nicely in their place. 

Post # 97
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

framarianna: That’s fine that wedding bands “to you” are not jewelry, but IT IS jewelry. Of course it symbolizes something wonderful (marriage), but at the end of the day, it is a piece of jewerly. I respect that you have your own opinions regarding this, but I stand firm in the fact that it is my opinion that your comment that “a man who doesn’t want to wear his wedding band is a man who doesn’t want to show he’s married” was an ignorant one. Clearly, it’s important to you that your husband wears his wedding band AKA a piece of metal. And that’s totally fine and wonderful! But to suggest that others who choose not to wear a wedding band just don’t want others to know they’re married .. I’m sorry, I just find it offensive. 

Post # 98
Member
1256 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My Fiance might not wear a ring, and I’m ok with that as long as he has one for the ceremony (and that can be a $20 ring if he so wishes). He doesn’t wear any kind of jewellery and has to take his watch off when he gets to work or he goes mad. So I’m not going to “force” him to wear a ring because that would only breed resentment.

If someone is uncomfortable wearing jewellery, then they’re uncomfortable wearing jewellery. It’s not that they don’t want to tell the world that you’re married 😛

Post # 99
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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Kimbalina81:  I feel the same way. I don’t get why people wouldn’t wear it unless like you said, thier job doesn’t allow it. My husband is leaving his with me when he goes to BMT in June because he’s not allowed to wear it and doesn’t want to lose it or have it be stolen. But he wears it the rest of the time and will wear it after he gets back. I couldn’t even think about parting with mine! I think it’s kind of rude not to wear it, but that’s my opinion. I guess  if the couple is cool with it, it’s ok.

Post # 100
Member
802 posts
Busy bee

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Kimbalina81:  I grew up to my mom and dad both wearing matching, thick, gold wedding bands with 1 tiny little spec of diamond in middle. My parents couldn’t take off their rings, they literally became of part of them (after they both gained some weight) through the years. My dad started having serious health problems and got very ill and became unconscious in the hospital. They had to cut his ring off. He recovered and couldn’t wear it anymore obviously and that was the last thing that was on their minds at the time. My mom also never had a engagement ring, just her wedding band. My dad got her a diamond solitaire ring like 20 years after they were married. Awful story my grandmoms wedding rings were stolen on my parents wedding day. She never found another set she loved as much as her orginal 🙁

It’s important to me because I grew up seeing my dad wearing his and never taking it off and that image is instilled in my brain

Post # 101
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee

Fiance is a mechanic and won’t be wearing his ring at work. At home/outdoors possibly. On outings in public definitely. He says he’ll be proud to wear it. I’ll be happy to have my wedding ring to wear outdoors because Fiance insists that I not wear my engagement ring on fishing or hiking trips because he’s afraid I’ll lose it, but otherwise he loves seeing that ring on my finger.

I immediately side-eye bandless married men but then I think they must have their reasons. I’m not super suspicious about it. I think the symbolism is important though and a man that is eager to show this to the world says something.

My ‘adoptive’ dad does not wear his ring and my adoptive parents are not the most happily married after 45 years. My biological dad I’ve never NOT seen without his ring except I’m assuming when he’s at work landscaping. Him and my step mom have been happily married for 10 years. 

Post # 102
Member
304 posts
Helper bee

To each their own- However, I would definitely want my SO to wear his wedding band everyday. His job does not make it impractical and I belive it is an outward expresion and promise of your love and commitment. I want him to be proud to show the world that he has met the love of his life and is committed to his marriage. 

Post # 103
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2003

My husband does not wear his due to his job, it’s gotten caught on things before, and now he is used to it.  He says marriage is in the heart and he does not need a ring to remind him to be loyal to me!   He only wears the wedding band on his finger to special occasions but never to work….he is a blue collar guy and works with his hands…..he wears his wedding band on a chain around his neck to work.

Post # 104
Member
2448 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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Kimbalina81 :  When we first got married 3 years ago, my husband wore his wedding band 24/7. I take mine off except when I go out, it has diamonds and I am paranoid about them falling out when I clean. After a while, he started to develop a rash on his ring finger. He felt badly about it but I suggested he let his finger get some air. 

Post # 105
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’m a healthcare provider (outpatient setting) and find it quite easy to wear my ring. Doesn’t snag gloves, doesn’t interfere with handwashing, etc. For a guy who is wearing a band, it would be even easier to wear one in this settting. Of course I know some settings are even “messier” than mine, but honestly this reasoning/practice still seems kind of funny to me. If a guy thought his ring would get a lot of damage from a job, it seems like a reasonable solution would be to get a really inexpensive band rather than just not wear one. 

Also – of course this is from the female perspective, and my ring was far more expensive than pretty much any ring a guy could have, but I LOVE wearing my engagement ring. I’m sure I’ll love wearing my wedding band even more (for so many reasons). My fiance, the ultimate minimalist, even said he was really excited about wearing his band.

Soooo, yeah. I’m sure there are very happy and secure marriages where a man isn’t wearing a ring, but it will always seem puzzling to me when a guy doesn’t. 

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