Post # 1
So. I am getting antsy about suits. We have pleanty of time, but I am a worrier and like to have everything sorted and under our belts so to speak. My H2B is waaaay more laid back than me and doesnt see the rush. So I have been pusing a bit. I’ve ordered fabrics etc. for him to have a look at.
My problem is this:
SUIT CHOICES: (see explanation below)
1) He’s not really been involved in planning.
2) I ordered suit colours which I thought would match my bridesmaids (my bridesmaids are in ice blue with a very dark navy sash and my Chiefy is in the very dark navy dress). He didn’t like any of them.
3) So I reordered ALL the colours the place offers which includes some … random colours… (all perfectly nice, of course). I did this because he was actually showing some interest/ expressing preference at suit colours. So they come and he looks at them and picks up/ matches some ones I TOTALLY didnt EVER even think about..
So he picked: brown suiting fabric, ivory waistcoat with mulberry /dark wine polkas and a tie in a mulberry/wine colour.
In my head I’m like: ‘WHAT the heyyyylll?’ why would he pick those colours? he knows what colour the bridesmaids are!!!!!!’ and ‘I really don’t want a brown suit’ – my sister had those for her wedding and I think she’d not like that lol as well as the people comparing thing.
But then I’m like omg I really want him involved in the wedding …. BUT …. the suits won’t match…. BUT … we’re not a polished/ samey-evrything-matchy couple and our venue certainly isnt either…. BUT will it look weird with blue bridesmaids and red men? Bearing in mind I am having 3 bridesmen too (and I already raised the fact i may choose my bridesmen and he the rest of the men but he wants all the men the same)….BUT… I REALLY want him to have a hand in it… BUT …. I’m being all bridezilliary about it in my head…. WHAT do I do? It’s his wedding too and I truley want it to be US and not just all about me me me BUT because he has been so back seat about it all I have just naturally taken the reins and it is hard relinquishing control.
What do I do?! lol Please help!
Normally I would do a ‘decide together’ btu when I want grey suits with silver waist coat and blue neck tie and he wants brown with red dotted waistcoat and red hanky/neck tie I feel that the possibliity of us BOTH being comfortable/happy is slim. I kinda feel I should capitulate and let him chose, as it would make him happy and make him feel involved.
Post # 3
I think you guys should work to make sure the colors are complimentary. But at the end of the day it should be his choice. Do you want him to be uncomfortable or dislike his clothing on the wedding day?
I also think other then your Sister and few wedding obsessed guest no going to care or realize that she had brown suits at her wedding. Can you show examples of the colors? Brown and Blue can look great together, perhaps it would be best to eliminate the wine color, and leave the brown the suits.
Post # 4
i was wondering the same thing, my FI trusts me with whatever planning im doing, but do i go and pick out the colors and then let the guys go together and be sized, i dont want to ruin their special time like i had with my girls doing bridemaids dresses, but i know the colors i want for the guys
Post # 5
My Fi hasnt been involved very much, except discussing the budget when we started the planning process and the guest list. But other than that ive been doing everything. Im letting him pick his and the groomsmen attire. I asked that he stay to our colors, and to wear nice shoes.. hes the kind of guy to wear sneakers. Converse arnt so bad, but skater shoes..just no lol I figure he has to wear it, and he had no say in what Im wearing at all. Fair is fair
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge
I’ve told my FI straight up that this is what he’s wearing. I’ll let him have some say such as the tie he wears etc but for the most part he’s not wearing a full on tux as he thought he was going to. It doesn’t match our style/theme of the wedding and I won’t have it.
Post # 7
I originally was letting him pick the suits, but then when he told me what he wanted and it was awful/costumey, I had to shut him down to go with something more classic. Sorry, honey!
Post # 8
My husband was completely open to my ideas for what I would have liked him to wear. I told him that at our formal wedding, I just want him to wear a boutonniere that matched my bouquet.
He’s free to pick whatever he’d like to wear. He didn’t have any say in my wedding dress, I don’t need to have a say in his attire.
All I require of him is to show up.
Post # 9
I would just let him pick and not stress about it. I think the brown/mulberry guys will go just fine with your ice blue/navy girls.
Post # 10
And people gripe about their guys not wanting to be involved in wedding planning. If their input literally doesn’t matter, why be involved?
Post # 11
Didn’t read all replys. If he is not terribly interested, I would just give some choices (that you can live with) and let him pick. If he still isn’t interested, you make the choice.
Post # 12
We went together and picked out what we both liked. He kinda let me have reigns with the little details like collar types and what not. All he really wanted was a bow tie.
Go together and make it a joint effort. If he is so laid back then he will probably just agree to almost whatever you suggest. Could you meet down the middle? Grey suit with his red options? When you say brown do you mean like dark brown or khaki? Grey and mulberry go well together too.
Post # 14
I voted “other.” My fiance has been really involved in planning, and I am getting very stressed out lately. I am handing it over to him completely, because he’s been involed, not because he hasn’t, like one of the other poll options. If he asks my advice, I will give it. I will also request the suits match the dresses, but that’s it.
Post # 15
- Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge
@Anise: For me I want FI to be more involved in planning. But his answer is always “Whatever you want, I don’t care.” He did let me know what he didn’t like in a wedding dress and I took it into consideration. He also put his 2 cents in about our colors. So since I let him help (and would like for him to help more) I figure he needs to take the same consideration when deciding on his suit.
Post # 16
My FI is getting a new suit, most styles will look good on him.
I’ve suggested a couple of general ideas and have learned that he has some STRONG opinions about some things–as in no tails, no vest, no double-breasting and nothing already hanging in the closet. He wants a whole new outfit, and is anything BUT the clotheshorse type.
We’re shopping on Saturday and I expect to be surprised with more STRONG opinions. In the end, though, I want him to feel as comfortable as possible because he hates being photographed as well.