Post # 1
I guess I’d like an opinion whether adding a “God” or two to our otherwise secular wedding ceremony would seem out of place. Maybe that makes it not secular anymore? lol
We hired a professional officiant who sent us sample ceremonies, and we liked the secular version (I guess you could say we are agnostic, religion has made me uncomfortable even when I ‘believed’ in it as a little girl). However at the end there was a ‘blessing’ included: “God knew your needs when he brought you two together…” and then on without any more religious references. I kind of liked it since I do want to honor my family’s beliefs, especially my very Christian grandma who is the only one to have contributed to our wedding financially so far (not much compared to costs but a lot for her). Throwing that in so late in the game seemed off to me, so we are going to mention God near the beginning “Love is given to us by God through our family and friends. We learn to love by being loved.” Etc etc.
My side of the family doesn’t really know our stance on religion, so it will be scandalous enough that there will be no prayers or bible readings during the ceremony (no readings in general, secular or not. We want it short and sweet) plus a nice little pagan-inspired handfasting. In my mind I imagine “God” to be more like “the universe” or “fate” or something like that so I don’t mind throwing it in there a few times for their sake. (Although still don’t like that I feel compelled to capitalize it every time!)
<br />Both of my married sibling’s weddings had a prayer to commence dinner; We’re still undecided on that. Again it’s hard for me to scandalize even my parents by omitting a dinner prayer. But his side isn’t too religious and may see it as odd or uncomfortable (specifically his dad, who has made some informal promises to gift us a good chunk of money for our wedding closer to the date). I know it’s our wedding so we should do what we are comfortable with. Just curious on thoughts.
Post # 2
jbirdlee1015: I wrote our entire ceremony and didn’t mention God the whole time and everyone loved it because it was personal. So I don’t think anyone will be focused on that as much as you are. Have him say what makes sense and feels right to you.
Post # 3
instead of saying “God” you can say “the creator.” it might sound kind of odd or unusual, but that term is used a lot in indigenous ceremonies and people can interpret it however they want. it can mean god or mother earth or whatever you believe.
Post # 4
I don’t think it would be “out of place,” and if it doesn’t bother you and helps appease your family, it seems harmless.
Personally I’m having a truly secular wedding and would hate to have any mention of God. It would feel phony to us as a couple, because it’s simply not our beliefs. We don’t even want to let my Future Mother-In-Law read Corinthians because it’s from the Bible and that’s just not how we roll.
That being said, wouldn’t judge an agnostic couple for adding in a few mentions to God. To each his own!
Post # 5
If you are comfortable with it, then do it! The ceremony is a representation of you, not your friends and family.
I’m nonreligious, and Fiance is Catholic. Our Protestant officiant has several mentions of the Holy Spirit in the ceremony, and even though I don’t personally believe, I’ll let it be because Fiance believes in it.
Post # 6
We had a secular officiant. In a one of the sample ceremonies she sent us there were mentions of God. I’m athiest and it was important to me not to have any mention of God or religion so we didn’t. I had older relatives who made comments early in our wedding planning since it wasn’t in a church, but once the day came no one cared.
Post # 7
I don’t know where you live but in the UK you are not allowed to have anything even remotely religious in a secular wedding. My friend’s sister got married in s secular wedding and all her readings were checked through. Their other sister was not allowed to sing the song ‘Angels’ by Robbie Williams because angels are religious.
So I would check the rules where you live.
Post # 8
As an athiest, I feel it is disingenuous to make your vows to suit other people’s beliefs.
If you do not believe in God, then I don’t think you should have a ceremony involving any mention.
Post # 9
andielovesj: I feel the same way, but I think it’s okay for some people to give a nod to their family if their involvement is important to them…
Post # 10
jbirdlee1015: We are being married by a Reverend. But neither of us are religious. So we chose his secular ceremony. And then we changed everything! Our vows are personalized (but still… repeat after me) and we took out a long reading. Then we added in the ‘prayers of the faithful’ as a nod to my FI’s background. We wrote our own prayers, they are pretty non-denominational. And they say we ‘pray’ for whatever, but there’s no mention of God, so its pretty open to your own personal interpretation. Well, the Rev called us on it at our final meeting. 😛 So he stuck in a slightly more religious blessing at the end than we would have picked. But he says its his favourite.
I don’t think its that out of place.