Post # 1
So Fiance is a military type and is due to be reassigned this summer. While we are still planning a wedding ceremony/reception later this year, we’ve been talking about a small courthouse wedding beforehand so that I can move with him. Fiance and I currently live apart, on different sides of town. He is under the impression that they will only move things from one household (is that right?) so we’ve been tossing around the idea of bringing my stuff to his place for the military to move us when his reassignment comes.
I grew up moving around due to my father’s work which was similar to military type 3 year assignments. I’m wondering about combining our things just before a move.
My plan was to do what I can to purge clutter and organize my own things in the coming months, get rid of anything I won’t need. Then, in the last week once my things are at his place, with his help, go through things we have doubles of and choose what to keep, move like objects together into the same place (all books together) and as much as possible have him try and prune his belongings….. particularly some awful artwork he has, lol. No sense carting things around that we’re not going to keep. That said, he has a lot of things to go through and I so doubt we’ll be able to get through everything in just a short week.
Is there anything you would do differently? Has anyone had to merge households in this kind of situation before, and how did you do it? Any suggestions or advice?
Post # 2
Not that situation exactly (not military) but we had 2 households that we combined right before we got married. He was coming from a 2-bed apartment and moving to my 1-bed condo. All 623 sq. feet of it.
My part was easy – I hired a friend with an organizing business, took a week off of work, and organized the shit out of my place. I got rid of SOOOO much stuff. I made sure half the closets were empty for him, etc.
His part . . . not so easy. We spent MANY, MANY hours purging stuff from his place, and many more hours packing. He got rid of a lot, but we ended up getting a storage unit for about a year until he was finally ready to let that stuff go too.
Once he moved in we had the movers take away some of my furniture and replace it with his (this was all planned beforehand obviously) and then it was just a matter of finding space for what was left. It’s been almost 6 years and we’re still taking a pile of stuff to the Salvation Army a couple of times a year.
My suggestion is to get both places as organized as possible starting NOW. Talk about what you can get rid of, and get rid of as MUCH as you can. Don’t waste time taking doubles of things to his place and THEN deciding what to keep. Be ruthless.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t wait until the last week to get rid of duplicates. If you are living apart, there may be some duplicates that you need to keep, but you can likely manage by being a little creative, e.g. no one needs two kettles. One of you can boil water in a pot or in the microwave for a few months.
Post # 4
So my experience worked the opposite way. Moving out of my bigger place into his place 6 weeks before both moving cross country.
I definitely would move your stuff in or maybe see if they also move things from a storage area. Sometimes they will move a home and a storage site if arranged in advance. I definitely don’t think they will move from two residences though. So if they will load from a storage site maybe you could put some stuff in storage for now. But you may find it easier and less likely to have stuff get lost if it’s one load from one place…
I think for us, having our new home to set up is actually what made it easier to combine households. I understand if you’re concerned about weigh restrictions but if you don’t have the time, I wouldn’t stress about it too much. You already have a wedding and relocation to deal with. Tossing duplicates or downsizing doesn’t have to be another huge stress in a short week or anything for now if it’s too much. I feel like it’s pretty easy to toss or donate extra pots and pans later on. Big items like whose bed or dressers or couch to keep would be something I’d decide as soon as possible so that you know what needs to be in position for the movers…